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Prime Administrator.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2011-02-20 05:05:56 EST
Rating: 0.83 on 62 ratings (62 reviews) (Review this item) (V)


I like the idea of creating a prime administrator for the world whose contract would be renewed yearly based on performance.

It would, of course, be subject to termination at any point upon board discretion.

The board would be filled with smart, benevolent people who truly have the world's best interests at heart. These people are clearly awesome - and publicly vetted by their social circles. Full transparency. The people who know them would all agree that they are among the best people they know... and these are the people that should be in charge of us.

The board would be responsible for the appointment and evaluation of the prime administrator.

This person would effectively become the CEO of the species.

The entire human race should be run like a corporation.

First order of business - immediate and unlimited global health care for all members.

Second order of business - using current financial terms and conditions, lend itself an infinite amount of money to pay for the first order of business and all subsequent transitional initiatives.

Third - Provide every human the daily sustenance needed to thrive in their specific environment, proper clothing, and a clean place to sleep.

Fourth order of business? Establish a new economy with a strong focus on innovation and environmental protection, restoration and sustainability. Utilize the free market - because people need incentive and rewards should still be there to motivate people to do well... but the focus of society will shift from our selfish need to look out for ourselves, to working with each other to make this world a better place.

Fifth - Clean up this fucking planet. On every landfill site build a gigantic state of the art recycling facility that will reclaim all of the shit we have buried into the earth. Individuals should not have to worry about recycling - we are lazy and selfish... some of us are able to transcend that, but still waste an inordinate amount of shit. Recycling should be done automatically at the end of the line - and we should be able to re-use or re-purpose everything... but the few toxic things we can't do anything about we should contain them as best we can and conscientiously store them so the impact on the planet is minimized.

I still think the formation of a government sanctioned beating squad should be put together to punish open stupidity. Guidelines for acceptable behavior will be clearly published and known - warnings will be given - but beatings will occur if you violate anti-stupidity laws.

And then... well, we could all just try and be fucking happy. Embrace the creative side of life. Celebrate diversity and appreciate life.

Love and have that love returned. Skip and jump. Frolic. etc.

Wouldn't that be cool?

I sure think so.


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Submitted by lungfish at 2011-02-25 14:26:52 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Toe!

Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe at 2011-02-25 13:54:13 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2011-02-25 11:13:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

and you are still a crabby little bitch.

--

fuck you. :)

Submitted by allowbot at 2011-02-25 11:52:22 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Crap.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2011-02-25 11:13:54 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2011-02-25 07:15:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

You're like, so insightful.

---

I sure am... and you are still a crabby little bitch.

So glad you stopped in. See ya next year.

Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe at 2011-02-25 07:15:09 EST (#)
Rating: -2

You're like, so insightful.

Submitted by Cuddles at 2011-02-22 20:57:38 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Classic Berg.

Submitted by Poots at 2011-02-22 15:03:22 EST (#)
Rating: 2

and I now have that song that goes:

Sail away, sail away, sail away

stuck in my head.

Submitted by Poots at 2011-02-22 15:02:34 EST (#)
Rating: 2

sorry, I got carried away.

Submitted by Poots at 2011-02-22 15:01:30 EST (#)
Rating: 2

THAT'S RIGHT, HONKEY!

Submitted by FALLEN at 2011-02-22 14:55:36 EST (#)
Rating: 2

HEY!
Wu Tang clan ain't nuthin to fuck with

Submitted by Poots at 2011-02-22 14:50:13 EST (#)
Rating: 2

vibrator society.

Submitted by Poots at 2011-02-22 14:49:23 EST (#)
Rating: 2

cash rules everything around me, cream, get the money

dolla dolla bills y'all!


what the wu tang clan so eloquently spoke is true, yo.

If we eliminate the need for money, Marxism I know, and we eliminate the need for people to get drugs illegally, Amsterdam I know, then we will have a more vibrant society that is rid of most crimes.

we have to keep shotguns and stuff though. there will always be someone who tries to fuck things up for everyone. We will lock those people underneath the fattest men of the lands toilets and let them suck the shit of the fat. We can put one of those time lapse cameras shot things and play the shots of the men getting shit on until they die from it on the discovery channel about once a month.

that ought to do it as far as crime goes.

I truly believe that criminals would be far less likely to be criminals if the punishments for being a guilty criminal were more publicly humiliating. Not just displayed in public like they used to do with public hangings. Extreme humiliation is the ticket. Or a better ticket in my honest opinion.

They need not all be put to death either. Some just raped...no no...some just punched or kicked in the dick by the entire town that the guilty party committed the crime in. Stuff like that. Stuff like that would only be enforced on serious criminals and the more you repeat your crimes the more humiliating it should get.


Parole Board chairman: They've got a name for people like you H.I. That name is called "recidivism."
Parole Board member: Repeat offender!
Parole Board chairman: Not a pretty name, is it H.I.?
H.I.: No, sir. That's one bonehead name, but that ain't me any more.
Parole Board chairman: You're not just telling us what we want to hear?
H.I.: No, sir, no way.
Parole Board member: 'Cause we just want to hear the truth.
H.I.: Well, then I guess I am telling you what you want to hear.
Parole Board chairman: Boy, didn't we just tell you not to do that?
H.I.: Yes, sir.
Parole Board chairman: Okay, then

Submitted by rob_berg at 2011-02-22 14:19:40 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2011-02-22 13:11:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

The only clear choice is as I suggested.
Your leaders have failed you with their petty needs.
What do you have to show for the same failed policies year after year? poverty? unemployment? chaos?
You need no you DESERVE, the order and stability that can only come from the reins of power in my steady hand.
Do you truly believe that the systems in place can somehow set things right when they have failed before? Can you trust the flawed people around you to do better? Or will you be trading the mistakes of the past for the mistakes of the future?
Focus your passions and desires where they can be of most use, in the service and support of a new global empire led by me.

---

You make a fine case, sir.

Submitted by SgtHartman at 2011-02-22 13:12:24 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Utopiagasm

Submitted by FALLEN at 2011-02-22 13:11:26 EST (#)
Rating: 2

The only clear choice is as I suggested.
Your leaders have failed you with their petty needs.
What do you have to show for the same failed policies year after year? poverty? unemployment? chaos?
You need no you DESERVE, the order and stability that can only come from the reins of power in my steady hand.
Do you truly believe that the systems in place can somehow set things right when they have failed before? Can you trust the flawed people around you to do better? Or will you be trading the mistakes of the past for the mistakes of the future?
Focus your pasions and desires where they can be of most use, in the service and support of a new global empire led by me.


Submitted by rob_berg at 2011-02-22 13:01:46 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by Psygns_of_the_Tymes (user info) at 2011-02-22 03:35:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Well said BergyBerg... I scrolled the comments and saw cheerios pop up... What a returd.

---

Returd.

das funny.


Submitted by rob_berg at 2011-02-22 12:59:12 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2011-02-22 11:30:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

Name one elected leader who has done a perfect job running a single country and insuring 100% coverage for food and health care while maintaining a storng economy without any errors or failings.

Now you want trust the whole world to one man?

Use your fucking head.

---

You ain't so gud at them readings is ya?

Submitted by Psygns_of_the_Tymes at 2011-02-22 11:37:23 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Anarchy man, anarchy - 'tis the only logical way.

I came to the conclusion that the police MIGHT be a necessary evil. If they weren't around then there would be chaos. Although if the crime becomes organised (such as thieves guilds / assassins guilds) then maybe it would be self regulating. I don't know, but its worth a shot I think.

Submitted by no1hasdis at 2011-02-22 11:30:05 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Name one elected leader who has done a perfect job running a single country and insuring 100% coverage for food and health care while maintaining a storng economy without any errors or failings.

Now you want trust the whole world to one man?

Use your fucking head.

Submitted by BranDo at 2011-02-22 05:05:40 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Further, the process of transformation,even if it brings revolutionary change, is
likely to be a long one, absent some catastrophic and catalyzing event – like a
new Pearl Harbor.

What have they done to my song, Ma?

Submitted by Psygns_of_the_Tymes at 2011-02-22 03:35:31 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Well said BergyBerg... I scrolled the comments and saw cheerios pop up... What a returd.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2011-02-21 23:31:01 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2011-02-21 19:58:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2011-02-21 07:50:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

And the ghost of McCarthy is now watching you, you pinko bastard...

(He mean's Cherios)
-----
Tell me you meant to type that, Snark.

Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals at 2011-02-21 20:09:30 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by Snark at 2011-02-21 19:58:56 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2011-02-21 07:50:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

And the ghost of McCarthy is now watching you, you pinko bastard...

(He mean's Cherios)

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB at 2011-02-21 15:50:50 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Is this a suggestion for Ubersite or Canada?

Both are imaginary places.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2011-02-21 07:50:15 EST (#)
Rating: 2

And the ghost of McCarthy is now watching you, you pinko bastard...

Submitted by asmasta808 at 2011-02-21 07:50:05 EST (#)
Rating: -2

right. google and jews can never be evil.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2011-02-21 07:49:11 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Nice. Maybe a hair too fascist for my taste, but still...

Aw, what the hell...

FALLEN for emperor!

Submitted by FALLEN at 2011-02-21 07:35:35 EST (#)
Rating: 2

ROB "The system doesn't work...They should get to gether and make a decision for the good of the poeple and do it."

UBER:"Thats what we do...but we don't allways agree on the same thing."

R:"Then someone should make them do it."

U"Who...you?"

R: "No...not me...someone wise and powerful"

U" "That's sounds like a dictatorship"

R: "IF that what it takes..."



I would make an excelent emperor, I'm almost a crinkly
and I already got the cloak and everything.

Submitted by Yozz at 2011-02-21 02:40:21 EST (#)
Rating: 2

*raises hand*

Ummmm, what about hockey and football?

Surely, they are like, I dunno

7th or 8th priority?

Submitted by rob_berg at 2011-02-21 00:47:00 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by FilthyMonkey (user info) at 2011-02-20 20:44:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by cheerios (user info) at 2011-02-20 19:05:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

I think you're onto something there.

All it needs is a name... I know! How about "communism".

-------

Actually is more of a global socialism (with a slightly fascist bent), notice he mentions keeping the free market as incentive.

---

Correct. Although I don't think the fascism is all that slight... there would be no tolerance for the kind of ignorance idiots like this 'cheerios' possess.







But I'm guessing you think socialism = communism though

---

He does.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2011-02-21 00:43:07 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by asmasta808 (user info) at 2011-02-20 22:43:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

you remember how industrialisation made even down-to-earth traditional farmer go use all the high techy stuff including genetic modification, cheap poisonous dyes, and cubic pigs(not yet invented). that's the kinda shite you'll be forced down your throat if it isn't already being forced down your throat if you try to run humanity like bizzzzzzzness. squeezed into a chicken coop pumping productivity outta your ass. you mad, bubba. you mad.

---

Good for you - you actually read some of them there wordz up above.

You might want to work on your comprehension a tad, but you do bring up a good point - traditional corporations are not really the best at executing directives with any sort of social conscious.

The fact that you find such things repulsive should give you and indication that collectively an educated socially responsible society with a mandate to eliminate or vastly reduce pollution and to clean up the existing disgusting mess we have created would strive to make the world a better place instead of worse.

Submitted by asmasta808 at 2011-02-20 22:43:02 EST (#)
Rating: -2

you remember how industrialisation made even down-to-earth traditional farmer go use all the high techy stuff including genetic modification, cheap poisonous dyes, and cubic pigs(not yet invented). that's the kinda shite you'll be forced down your throat if it isn't already being forced down your throat if you try to run humanity like bizzzzzzzness. squeezed into a chicken coop pumping productivity outta your ass. you mad, bubba. you mad.

Submitted by FilthyMonkey at 2011-02-20 20:54:34 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Sorry Berg, didn't mean to give you a zero.

Nice idea by the way, would be a beautiful thing if every person in every country had access to food, shelter, sanitation, medicine and education. That there was a global safety net that provided, at the very least, the basics for (modern) survival.

It's bizarre that in some countries people can be homeless and starving yet have a cell phone with internet access...

Submitted by FilthyMonkey at 2011-02-20 20:44:41 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by cheerios (user info) at 2011-02-20 19:05:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

I think you're onto something there.

All it needs is a name... I know! How about "communism".

-------

Actually is more of a global socialism (with a slightly fascist bent), notice he mentions keeping the free market as incentive.

But I'm guessing you think socialism = communism though

In the same way you also probably think everyone in a capitalist society has an equal/same opportunity for success. AaaaHahahahahahaha!


Submitted by Darth_Famine at 2011-02-20 19:43:04 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2011-02-20 15:44:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

i bow to your evil attempts at conquering the world, rob bergs.

-------
You are gonna bow before me?


ooooo I like where this is goin

*eg*

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2011-02-20 19:21:10 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Hi!

Submitted by cheerios at 2011-02-20 19:05:27 EST (#)
Rating: -2

I think you're onto something there.

All it needs is a name... I know! How about "communism".

Submitted by willartstorg at 2011-02-20 15:48:33 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2011-02-20 15:44:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

i bow to your evil attempts at conquering the world, rob bergs.
================
Robbie is not evil. Quite the contrary. He is merely disillusioned. A pollyanna, as it were.

Submitted by orphelia at 2011-02-20 15:44:45 EST (#)
Rating: 2

i bow to your evil attempts at conquering the world, rob bergs.

Submitted by willartstorg at 2011-02-20 13:14:29 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Born on wrong part of the planet: People dislike and fear things they don't understand. That dude over there? His skin is white while mine is black. He must be a fool, so I should kill him. That's been the cause of more shit since the world began...

Submitted by willartstorg at 2011-02-20 13:11:35 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I like the barter system for a reason: People put great stock in diamonds and gold. Yes, both are shiney and pretty to look at, but that doesn't turn my crank. Pretty baubles in exchange for food? Someone got fucked in that transaction.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2011-02-20 13:03:04 EST (#)
Rating: 1


I agree bubba,

But surely we can provide a vertical that allows people to achieve those things without fucking up the world and manipulating our fellow human beings simply because they were born in the wrong part of the planet.

The concept of money is an excellent one... but it's gotten way the fuck out of hand and too many people are getting fucked over because of it.

Submitted by willartstorg at 2011-02-20 12:52:07 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2011-02-20 12:32:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1


I'm a special breed of hippie, sweater boy: The fascist hippie.

Unless the musings of Agent Smith from the Matrix are indeed true - and us humans are incapable of existing in a world of happiness due to fact we are little more than a semi intelligent virus, at best - then why wouldn't this work?

I mean is there really something all that compelling about living such a constrained financially restrictive life? Our values are fucked up because of our implied need to pay for our existence - but if we all worked together to provide a healthy baseline for our entire species - we could spend that time and energy into making life better.

It's not impossible - unlikely and unrealistic given our current slave/master relationship we have with the 1% of the people who control the fabricated wealth we have been brainwashed into thinking is really important - but if we collectively decided that this world is indeed bullshit and using that as our guide created a new world order it could absolutely be done.
================
Great response.
1) Fascist hippie. Isn't that an oxymoron?
2)Money, it's a hit. Don't gimme that do <youknow>
3)Creating a new world order looks good on paper, but money=power=control=(supposed) happiness.

People want things, power, and happiness. For now, money is the source of those things. In many cases. I'd like to see the barter system used exclusively. I'll give you a chicken for a blow job. Have your wife make me a blueberry pie once a week and I'll plow that south forty for you.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2011-02-20 12:32:04 EST (#)
Rating: 1


I'm a special breed of hippie, sweater boy: The fascist hippie.

Unless the musings of Agent Smith from the Matrix are indeed true - and us humans are incapable of existing in a world of happiness due to fact we are little more than a semi intelligent virus, at best - then why wouldn't this work?

I mean is there really something all that compelling about living such a constrained financially restrictive life? Our values are fucked up because of our implied need to pay for our existence - but if we all worked together to provide a healthy baseline for our entire species - we could spend that time and energy into making life better.

It's not impossible - unlikely and unrealistic given our current slave/master relationship we have with the 1% of the people who control the fabricated wealth we have been brainwashed into thinking is really important - but if we collectively decided that this world is indeed bullshit and using that as our guide created a new world order it could absolutely be done.

Submitted by august_sobriquet at 2011-02-20 12:07:44 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Why must everything be such a big god awful unfair retarded shit-pile? I don't get it either.

Submitted by willartstorg at 2011-02-20 11:51:27 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Proton, who will administer said beatings? Certainly not you.

Submitted by Procon at 2011-02-20 11:37:59 EST (#)
Rating: -1

Goddamn. I never thought of you as a hippy before. Just an unrealistic, overly optomistic, self-satisfied, smug little cumburgler.

Now you're a cumburgling hippy like that teacher on Beavis and Butthead with the peace symbol t-shirt and an acoustic guitar strumming "Cum ba ya" or whatever that gay fucking song is, all the while with a big honking dildo up your ass making you squirm, "alive with pleasure."

Fuck you, hippie.

I did like the idea of a stupidity-beating squad. You'd right near the top of the list, right after Sico and Bubba.

Submitted by Darth_Famine at 2011-02-20 09:23:47 EST (#)
Rating: 2

does this mean I get to run for the office of Supreme Chancellor again?

*evil Grin*

Submitted by willartstorg at 2011-02-20 09:22:18 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Berg for Supreme Emperor of the World.

Things would go downhill MUCH faster!

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2011-02-20 09:03:37 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Replen (user info) at 2011-02-20 07:43:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

nice idea. wouldn't work.

Submitted by Poots at 2011-02-20 08:08:48 EST (#)
Rating: 2

bergsome!


Submitted by Replen at 2011-02-20 07:43:03 EST (#)
Rating: 1

nice idea. wouldn't work.

Submitted by iddqd at 2011-02-20 06:38:19 EST (#)
Rating: 0

fuck youre gay

Submitted by BranDo at 2011-02-20 06:02:11 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Where do sign I up?

























For 1st CEO.

Submitted by ridiculous at 2011-02-20 05:35:46 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2011-02-20 05:25:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1


You are totally invited to the company picnic, Ridsie.

~~~~~
Never thought I would hear a nickname that would make me prefer Redick. Thanks, Berg.

Submitted by YourNameHere at 2011-02-20 05:30:37 EST (#)
Rating: -1

sixth

Submitted by rob_berg at 2011-02-20 05:25:41 EST (#)
Rating: 1


You are totally invited to the company picnic, Ridsie.

Submitted by ridiculous at 2011-02-20 05:19:35 EST (#)
Rating: 2

All jokes aside, I wish I live long enough to see this happen.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2011-02-20 05:16:32 EST (#)
Rating: 1


Poots will also swoop in and type up something awesome.

Love that kid.

And yes, the rest of you will pop in and say hi.

Then there are those of you who will skim by, happy to lurk above the irrelevant filth we create down here in the muck.

I know you are there. YEAH YOU.

How ya doin', ya silly fucker?

Submitted by rob_berg at 2011-02-20 05:12:27 EST (#)
Rating: 1


OH, and that geriatric gleek Shlongy will also slither on in, shit out something bubbaesque and then traipse off with his inexplicable smug sense of superiority.

He won't think so, though. God bless his delusional garden gnome soul.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2011-02-20 05:07:58 EST (#)
Rating: 1


This was fun... just like to good 'ole days.

If only Caulaincourt and indoninja could show up to shit all over it, that would rock.

I'm sure YNH will stop by, though.

It's in his contract.


Marge, please, old people don't need companionship. They need to be
isolated and studied, so it can be determined what nutrients they have
that might be extracted for our personal use.

-- Homer Simpson
Lady Bouvier's Lover