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THOU Mashed PEA soupoetry- A Brief History of a Good Time.

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2011-04-12 08:40:37 EDT
Rating: 1.69 on 16 ratings (16 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

We would stay up late to the early morn,
Trying to see boobs in scrambled porn,
Skinemax, where were you taking me so long ago?

The internet came, and so did I,
So many strange and beautiful women,
So little time, but far too much to finish my homework.

Built up my confidence with a one man dance,
Got up the courage, took a chance,
And I was a hit with the school girls,
Until one accused me of rape so her boyfriend wouldn’t leave her.

Who needs local chicks when you can find real babes?
Don’t even have to pay to watch them on stage,
Just put up a profile, and rub em a bit,
Give em a smile, and blow em a hit,
And before you know it, you’re balls deep in it.

I got drunk and lost it all,
Stumbled into Books-a-Million in a mall,
Bought a slut mag and propositioned the sales-girl.
She said no way, so I got no play that day,
Nor any other day for quite some time.

Moved back home,
Back to my zone, where I knew where to roam,
But I was too old for the young girls,
Too young for the old girls,
And I was broke and gruff anyway, so it really didn’t matter.

Moved down south where nobody knew my name,
Things here just weren’t quite the same,
So I tried to play the blame game.
Surely they’d come back home with me if they weren’t all uppity bitches.
It couldn’t be me.

Went back home for New Year’s Eve,
Reunited with my first girlfriend ever,
Came home in a new year,
With new regrets,
And some new HPV to remember her by.

I let time pass,
I got no ass,
I got high speed internet instead.
Hole-shit, what happened to the world of porn?

Met a nice girl,
Took her out for a whirl,
She had more girlfriends than me,
Found out she’d do all the things other girls wouldn’t.

Got my hopes up,
Got married,
Found out it was all an act.
God-dam nit.

Back to the basics,
When I can find the time,
No scrambled Skinemax,
But freaky porn online.

OH, you dirty old man.jpg
OH, you dirty old man.jpg

Review This Item




Submitted by haikumikoo at 2011-04-27 16:11:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by beeltea at 2011-04-21 16:37:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

um, no you didn't enter, but you did write a poem; so I thought yo were in.

Submitted by august_sobriquet at 2011-04-15 12:31:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I have a particularly mean strain of HPV, that, despite being generally on top of my health, I never knew I had until it was too late to do anything but scrape out my reproductive organs to avoid eventual certain death from a cancerous vagina.

Now, who wants to fuck? Form an orderly queue, no pushing... til you get to the front.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2011-04-14 13:42:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

"Met a nice girl,
Took her out for a whirl,
She had more girlfriends than me,
Found out she’d do all the things other girls wouldn’t.

Got my hopes up,
Got married,
Found out it was all an act.
God-dam nit."


And that's the way it goes

Submitted by Yozz at 2011-04-14 05:44:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Is this about Berg's clown porn?

Submitted by HeyJude at 2011-04-14 04:10:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2011-04-12 18:39:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2011-04-12 16:47:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I laughed at a few spots. Nicely played.

Submitted by simple_catalyst at 2011-04-12 16:41:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by lostinwonderland at 2011-04-12 16:00:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Haha! Love it

Submitted by ridiculous at 2011-04-12 13:44:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2011-04-12 08:47:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

scrambled skinamax
so long ago

Submitted by YourNameHere at 2011-04-12 10:58:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by F.J.Bell at 2011-04-12 09:24:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Good stuff.

Submitted by BranDo at 2011-04-12 09:21:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by asmasta808 at 2011-04-12 09:07:27 EDT (#)
Rating: -1

old man pron? meh

Submitted by FALLEN at 2011-04-12 08:47:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

scrambled skinamax
so long ago

Hey, if you want wild bears eatin' your children and scarin' your
salmon, that's your business. But I'm not gonna take it! Who's with

-- Homer Simpson
Much Apu About Nothing