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Per The Uberboard - Goatse and The Rabbit (NSFW)

Submitted by apollo88 at 2012-03-21 23:42:21 EDT
Rating: 0.85 on 16 ratings (20 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Goatse and the Rabbit had endured a hard day.

Their cockle stall hadn’t sold out and due to the rigours of the health code they’d had to throw away or consume the remains of their stock at the end of the day.

Being frugal people they’d eaten most of the remainder thus were suffering the complaints of an overloaded digestive system.

That was not their main concern though. Far from it.

As they both sat on the toilet, different stalls they’re not weirdo’s, they were both manning their iPhones. Refreshing the browser in disbelief.

They had thought the treaty they’d signed with The Italian was binding. They had trusted him. They’d fallen for his boyish good looks, his glasses slightly askew had disarmed them. He was a family man now he’d said, he’d moved on from that phase of his life he’d said, he was tired of the secret service knocking on his door asking for people called ‘shitfuck’ he’d said.

They had handed in their pass. They’d left the internet and found each other.

The Rabbit had gone to India, then Tibet. He’d found himself.

Goatse had spent the last year or so trying to monetise his image behind various paywalls. He’d saved up enough to get his own business and was considering his options when he met Rabbit at a RROSM meeting (Recovering Really Old School Meme) and discovered they both shared a love of cockles.

Rabbit had some funds left over from the Help For Hannah scam from ’06.

It was obvious. They should do it.

They opened the stand.

They were happy. They’d escaped the internet. Only Ubersite oould possibly care about them in 2012 and it was gone.

It was hard at first believing they were free. They often looked over their shoulders. Didn’t buy too much furniture. Were always ready to leave, bags half packed. But slowly, tentatively they put down roots. The cockles were selling, the sex was good if Goatse’s stiches held up. They began to believe it would last forever. It was a dream. A beautiful dream.

And then suddenly, it ended.

Ubersite was back. They knew they’d shortly be snatched back to the internet. The Chinese would probably take over their stand. Goatse would have his stitches removed. Rabbit would have to start being surprising again. He hates surprises.

Review This Item




Submitted by fuck you at 2016-12-16 09:51:04 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Anglophile at 2013-04-29 05:14:54 EDT (#)
Rating: -2


Submitted by JonnyX at 2013-04-23 19:29:42 EDT (#)
Rating: -2


Submitted by apollo88 at 2012-04-09 13:05:09 EDT (#)

hahaha. yeah.

Submitted by Murphy1844 at 2012-04-07 05:25:06 EDT (#)

Oh fuck off apollo. Really?

Submitted by Professional_Peon at 2012-04-04 02:25:25 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


*blows kisses*

Submitted by Random Joe at 2012-04-01 12:50:47 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by triangle_man at 2012-03-24 18:09:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by firefly at 2012-03-24 07:54:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-03-23 11:31:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

This blew

Submitted by apollo88 at 2012-03-23 11:22:19 EDT (#)

Submitted by Chroniclysm at 2012-03-22 20:46:59 CDT (#)
Rating: 1

A little iffy, but a modern e-telling of archaic meme celebrities in a Frog and Toad kind of format could be pretty damn funny.

Yeah, that was what I was going for, I knocked this out in 2 mins like but I think there's mileage in this if done properly.

Submitted by Random Joe at 2012-03-23 01:41:22 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Random Joe at 2012-03-23 01:20:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by Chroniclysm at 2012-03-22 21:46:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

A little iffy, but a modern e-telling of archaic meme celebrities in a Frog and Toad kind of format could be pretty damn funny.

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2012-03-22 20:15:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by Davros at 2012-03-22 11:06:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I enjoyed it.


Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-03-22 06:55:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2012-03-22 04:04:42 UTC (#)
Rating: 1

Goatse had a drawstring installed.
Don't ask how I know.
A simple solution to an obvious problem. Genius.

Submitted by ridiculous at 2012-03-22 02:58:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Wow, Apollo got rusty. The head must have swelled without Über to keep him in check.

I suppose the stiches was a nice touch. Har Har Rabbit.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2012-03-22 00:04:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Goatse had a drawstring installed.
Don't ask how I know.

Submitted by Random Joe at 2012-03-21 23:55:29 EDT (#)

Yeah. Um. This wasn't really very funny. Or even original. Or interesting. From you, I expect high grade posts. Posts about things like, I dunno...squirting orange juice out of your ass on a Houston Highway.

Return to that kind of quality, and you're gold.

When it comes to compliments, women are ravenous, bloodsucking
monsters, always wanting more, more, more! And if you give it to 'em,
you'll get back plenty in return.

-- Homer Simpson
Lisa the Beauty Queen