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What did you do over Über vacation?

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2012-03-23 13:54:31 EDT
Rating: 1.56 on 19 ratings (29 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

What have you done while Über was down?
Nothing monumental I'm sure, and considering you folks, certainly nothing admirable, but I'm curious all the same.


I have, in no particular order:

-Welcomed my first born son into the world.

-Installed wooden laminate flooring in parts of my house. I'm hiring someone to do the work next time.

-Quit getting high all the time and rediscovered things like ambition, spare energy, short term memory, and my bank account.

-Convinced my employer to pay for an education, to become an accountant.

-Convinced my employer to buy me an Ipad2, "for work."

-Purchased several new firearms in preparation for nothing in particular.

-Started feeding a herd of feral cats in my neighborhood, and subsequently watched the songbird population plummet.

-Discovered several new websites to waste time on. I won't list them here as I know how much you all hate links.

-Shaved my balls. They're like fleshy eggs now.

That's all I can think of.

What adventures have you been on?
What new websites/entertainment options have you discovered in the interim?
Have you contacted anyone else from here to tell them it's back?


Yeah, yeah, yeah, -2 die.
I can just delete your comments now, so ratings really don't matter anymore.


Angry clowns want to get back in please.jpg
Angry clowns want to get back in please.jpg


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Submitted by STIXS at 2012-04-26 21:21:55 EDT (#)

In this particular order:

1) Got my Dental License after finishing Dental School
2) Got my first loan repayment statement
3) Cried heavily

Submitted by orphelia at 2012-04-12 03:55:25 EDT (#)

In a very particular order -

Lost a load of weight and am now training for a triathalon
Learned Portuguese
Fell in love with a man from Portugal
Started keeping my own bird
Missed Roadie like mad
Started my dressmaking course
Didn't get pregnant

Don't train to be an accountant they are a souless bunch who eat babies for breakfast and think numbers are fun. Besides I can never stop sniggering at 'double entry'.

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2012-04-03 12:45:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

remember this? great analysis
--

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2008-07-11 15:54:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

But back to what matters: Lion vs Bear in a containment area, without gravity, but with breathing apparati, with Jim Dougan yelling "HooooooO!!!!" while waving a 2x4.

With 25x25 1 on 1 battles, of every species, the overall win would go to lions then, unless we're working with Tekken Survival rules, wherein the winner of battle 1 continues to fight subsequent combatants until death, then is replaced, in which case the Ursus family would probably come out on top due to what I suspect is their much higher endurance (considering that they have thicker hides/fat stores to protect against blows.)

However, upon closer examination, Jim Dougan's powerful yell would detrimentally affect the outcome in favor of the bears, because as everyone knows, cat's hearing is better than bears, meaning they'd be temporarily stunned, long enough for the bear to quickly swipe it's massive bear claws downward, crushing the cat's skull.

But wait, is Jim Dougan just standing around yelling, or is he participating? I assume he'd side with the bears in this case, as they can stand on their hind legs, which would impress him as it does me. Not only that but they share an equivalent amount of body hair, meaning it would be hard to discern any difference anyway. In this case, Jim Dougan would use the 2x4 with DEVESTATING effects against all the felines.

Is tag team allowed?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Submitted by Professional_Peon at 2012-04-02 01:21:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I just found out Jeanneee cheated on me. Shitty end to my ubercation :(

Hi everybody! Anyone seen where my tits went off to..... can't seem to find them anymore.

Submitted by Crystle at 2012-03-28 01:44:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Congrats! UBERBABY(tm)!!
-------------------------------------
Submitted by Jeanneee at 2012-03-27 12:27:06 PDT (#)
Rating: 2

I got engaged to a person I met on Ubersite, which I'm sure everyone is shocked to death to hear. Also pregnant. It's a boy, due in June.

Submitted by Bubs at 2012-03-27 19:56:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Jeanneee at 2012-03-28 05:27:06 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I got engaged to a person I met on Ubersite, which I'm sure everyone is shocked to death to hear. Also pregnant. It's a boy, due in June.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2012-03-27 18:56:19 EDT (#)

Submitted by Jeanneee at 2012-03-27 12:27:06 PDT (#)
Rating: 2

...Also pregnant. It's a boy, due in June.
----------------
I was gonna call you, I swear. I was kidnapped by prairie dogs in late October and was forced to do battle with black-footed ferrets in El Anillo de la Muerte for 22 hours a day, every day.

Congrats and shit.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-03-27 17:29:06 EDT (#)

Submitted by Jeanneee at 2012-03-27 12:27:06 PDT (#)
Rating: 2

I got engaged to a person I met on Ubersite, which I'm sure everyone is shocked to death to hear. Also pregnant. It's a boy, due in June.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CONGRATS!

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2012-03-27 15:30:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

What? No.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-03-27 15:29:15 EDT (#)

IT'S OATHMEAL, ISN'T IT, JEANNNEEEE?

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2012-03-27 15:27:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I got engaged to a person I met on Ubersite, which I'm sure everyone is shocked to death to hear. Also pregnant. It's a boy, due in June.

Submitted by Bigmike at 2012-03-27 00:02:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Haha FALLEN.

Submitted by The_Drake at 2012-03-26 15:51:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I welcomed my (one and only) son into the world.

I designed some thing...

Cleaned my kitchen...

....ummm...


I bought a kindle...

Basically all I did over break was get older. Christ, I need a hobby or a goal.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-03-26 14:55:48 EDT (#)

OMG!!!
Bigmike sighting below

Submitted by Bigmike at 2012-03-26 07:09:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Worked on not dying. As usual.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-03-24 23:13:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

"-Welcomed my first born son into the world."

Congrats on the first born..

Submitted by triangle_man at 2012-03-24 18:08:37 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

WTFINRAT

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2012-03-24 18:00:21 EDT (#)

Laminate flooring, less getting high, and ball shaving - did that, too.
I discovered that insulting people or producing random, hate-filled diatribes on other websites isn't nearly as fun as it is here. Nor is it as appreciated.
I conceptualized an invention to change the world. Now I'm building it.
Uber will probably distract me from that invention and you're all doomed.

Submitted by Unabonger at 2012-03-24 14:56:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

I sat on Ubersite.com hitting refresh.

oh and checking out some shitty cooking website.

Submitted by ASO at 2012-03-24 11:40:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

- I bought a house with my lovely gf
- Adopted some pound dogs, see post from a couple days ago
- In January, got my English degree in the mail, which is nice considering I finished classes in 2009.
- started working out again, and then stopped, and then started and stopped, etc.
- Got a new job in the same industry making more money, and have convinced my bosses that I am dependable, which came as a shock
- got into credit card debt, then fixed it
- which leads me to right now as i post replies on ubersite while taking a dump

Submitted by ridiculous at 2012-03-24 05:59:30 EDT (#)

Still in Africaland

Squirrels comment made me smile.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-03-24 03:22:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

During Uber vacation:

I made yet another epic 6000 mile journey driving my 1981 Jeep Wagoneer with my Tweeter dog riding shotgun.

procured a bajillion chicken eggs from my egg ranch connection in the valley and gave them away up here in the mountains

had to deal with a knife wielding maniac in a motel room who wished to SLICE ME UP

was befriended by the Chief of Police of Shamrock Texas

was twisted by a tornado

had a tire changed by a Cherokee family who told me they were "mandated to help"

got new glasses

had three feral cats spayed

sheared and dyed some Mohair and spun it into soft fat yarn

was chased by a Amish man who was carrying a feed sack

started many seedlings under a full spectrum grow light

got a GPS unit

attended a wedding where a girl grabbed the groom by the balls and slammed him to the ground in front of the church

adopted a Bull Mastiff that weighs 140 LBS.

got another scholarship from Comcast

noticed my transfer case leaks

got a package from Montana that had tufts of Buffalo fur inside

started using this cheap ass Acer when the Alienware went belly up

arrived ONE DAY late when grandfather called,it cost me Five Hundred Thousand bucks *sigh*

took a foal to auction and ended up owing the auctioneer five dollars

raised a dozen baby chicks

buried two friends

investigated a monster sighting

started pulling drums out of the rafters

caught three rats in a spring trap, and a mouse with a sticky trap, IN my Jeep (have photos, you know I do!) fuggin rat was a foot long including tail

sold some items on Ebay

bought two sets of team harness for the ponies

found a RV park in Tucumcari New Mexico where I was given a big bag of bud just for checking in

started another stint as the gofer for Bill Manville

had one HELL of a time trying to seem "normal" on Facebook






Submitted by X54 at 2012-03-23 22:56:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

-Purchased several new firearms in preparation for nothing in particular.

-Started feeding a herd of feral cats in my neighborhood, and subsequently watched the songbird population plummet.


I've got an idea for something in particular...

Submitted by maiorano84 at 2012-03-23 22:48:04 EDT (#)

Losing your ball-hair doesn't count as shaving, Shlongy.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-03-23 15:05:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

I, too, knocked off one thing on your list: The ball shaving one.

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2012-03-23 15:04:22 EDT (#)

I'm pretty conflicted over Facebook. I have an account, and check it regularly just to see what's going on, but rarely update anything or add pictures.

On the one hand, I can see the appeal of having everyone you'd want to know in easy reach, and being able to see what's going on in their lives.

On the other, I can see how people who know me have me within easy reach, and can see what's going on in my life.

The more I see on there, the less highly I think of people I love.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-03-23 14:53:25 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I sold my soul to Facebook and that fucking Farmville.
It wasnt my fault, see..it was because of a dame, see?
I never stood a chance.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-03-23 14:50:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2012-03-23 14:28:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

What DIDN'T I do over Uber vacation!?!
-----
You vacationed in Florida and DIDN'T let me know you were coming so I could buy YaYLW a few beach beers. Punkass.

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2012-03-23 14:28:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

What DIDN'T I do over Uber vacation!?!


Read your town charter, boy. `If food stuffs should touch the ground,
said food stuffs shall be turned over to the village idiot.' Since I
don't see him around, start shoveling!

-- Homer Simpson
Lisa's Rival