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Wine and Candles

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-03-29 13:00:45 EDT
Rating: 1.63 on 13 ratings (25 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

1. Call Waiting: http://www.ubersite.com/m/125668
2. Losing My Religion: http://www.ubersite.com/m/125832
3. Like A Moth To A Flame: http://www.ubersite.com/m/125948
4. What Dreams may Come: http://www.ubersite.com/m/126851
5. Pretty: https://www.ubersite.com/m/126877

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The books are woefully useless on the proper rituals for sort of thing I am attempting. I guess that most people would try their best to avoid a meeting of this nature but desperate times, desperate measures and all that. The thought of following any type of ritual is odd enough to me as it is.
Shit, have I really gotten used to these unorthodox meetings just happening on their own? This is just too important to leave to chance, so here I am lighting candles and all these other theatrics. Time is not on my side and this meeting has to happen tonight.

I light the candles, one black one white, that sit on each side of the room; covering the four compass directions. There’s something about crossroads as a nexus point or some such thing. Like I said, all the dog and pony show nonsense isn’t usually my thing. The lotus incense perfumes the air as I sit in the center of the room. My breathing slows as I clear my mind. Deeper into my relaxed state I begin to wonder exactly what happens next. There must be some sort of sign or indication that this is even working.

My question is answered in the most unexpected of ways; my doorbell rings.

Rising from the floor I make my way across the apartment as the bell chimes for a second time. I dread the possibility of it being some neighbor interrupting me now of all times and my agitation shows just a bit in my response.
“I’m here, let me just get the latch.”

I reach my hand to the handle as the knob suddenly turns and the door pushes open.

“Never mind, I have it” my visitor announces as he enters the room. He is an impeccably dressed man, blonde hair, maybe six two. Strikingly handsome to any who look at him. His features seem as if every angle and cleft was a deliberate carving into his pale almost alabaster skin. But his eyes revealed his true nature; they were black, darker than any cave, any night time. They were not only an absence of color, it was as if they drew the life out of what ever they looked upon.
As he made his way into the room the door closed behind him, and locked. His eyes never left mine and the way he moved reminded me of a lions pacing as it eyed up its prey. I matched his steps backwards to maintain distance; I have seen a lot of things in my time yet nothing like him. My fears became a realization as he began to speak.

“Well, well, well, so there you are after all this time. I’m sorry I haven’t taken the time to meet you before. Not what I expected to tell you the truth.”

With as much fake bravado as I could muster I replied “I expected you to be taller.”

A smirk formed as he sat on my sofa, brushing aside some unseen dust before he did. He removed his white gloves and motioned me to take a seat as if I had come to visit him instead of him being in my home. I politely shook my head as I declined.

“I’ve heard a lot about you, lots of buzz on the streets from my associates, lots of buzz. You actually struck your guardian angel? Outstanding!”
His laughter stopped abruptly as he continued. His eyes lost the darkness and became the most crystal blue you could imagine.
“After hearing about your incident in the park I told myself I had to come meet you. The old man came to you himself? Seriously? You should be much honored to have that happen he must hold you in the highest of regards. Even Moses just got a shrubbery flambé. You sir are special amongst all men.”

“Pride?”
I asked him “Pride, one of the seven big ones? Did you make a bet or something that you could hook me into a sin in the first few minutes in the door?”

“Guilty as charged, not about the bet, there is none. But to answer your question, yes I was phoning that one in. But enough about me I came here to see you, what’s so special about you? You’re just a human; a human that can see what is normally unseen but human all the same.” His voice took on a sing-songy, mocking tone. “One of countless others that are there for others in their times of need, Awwwwww.”

He rose from the sofa and began to pace. His words became angrier as he continued into his rant.

“Just another of the little cogs in the machine of life, but so irritating. You know how many lost souls are brought back from the edge with just a kind word? It’s so annoying. There is work and efforts you people never see. Every tear has a story. It’s so much more complicated these days, angels and demons running here and there and now meat bags like you getting their fingers in everyone’s pies.”

His eyes met mine as they switched back to that abyss black. Suddenly he vanished from across the room and was next to me, his arm around my shoulder.

“I gotta tell you, I really hate you and your kind.”
His voice taking a much more sinister tone.
“I should tear you apart slowly, keeping you alive as each organ pops out.”

He made a comical POP sound with his mouth like the one in that Chordettes song from the 50’s.
I didn’t see the humor in it.
“….but you intrigue me for the moment so let’s see what you’re all about.”

With a wave of his hand I was lifted off the floor and pushed against the wall. Grey arms, cold as the grave, came from the walls and held me in place. He stood before me and his eyes flashed a bright red. He reached towards me and then back as if he now held an enormous unseen book on his outstretched hands. He began to read and with each pantomime gesture in the air of flipping a page, the sound of paper could be heard. Each turn of the invisible page felt as if my soul was being peeled back layer by layer. the pain was unbelievable.

“Hmm, boring childhood….death of father…boy meets girl…they fall in love. Ahhh here it comes, you reek with the stench of heartbreak by the way, I didn’t want to be the one to tell you. Anyway, boy loses girl…Love always ruins you lot you know that? It’s so vital to your human existence, so powerful, so real. Real as..as…well I forget exactly, yet it is the sharpest sword and it cuts you all so deep when it goes poorly.”

He continued flipping pages.
“Well, there’s nothing here that seems out of the ordinary. Wait, wait just one second here.”
He began flipping quickly back through the pages, each turn like another twist of a knife in me. I didn’t know how much longer I could take the pain. I could see him reading over something he must have missed the first time through. A smile devoid of any joy formed on his lips then he exploded with uncontrolled laughter. He could hardly complete his sentences.

“You have got to be kidding me…hahahahah…no seriously…hahahahaha….there’s no fucking way that happened like that. First you… and then…and all that time you were…you never stood a chance, you poor fuckerhahahahahaha. That’s just too unbelievably cruel, and I’M the evil one? Hahahaha..that’s fantastic.”

He composed himself and sat back down on my sofa.
“Ok first of all you are off limits starting right now.”

He snapped his fingers and the impossibly loud sound echoed in the room.

“None of my people will call on you. I’m not letting you make some sideways deal for a chance to get yourself out of your situation. Your misery is far too intoxicating to ruin and got to admit, I am more than a bit curious as to how all this will end.”

The hands on the wall vanished and I collapse in a heap on the floor. I cough and spat a small amount of blood as I struggle to sit against the wall. My head is swimming from the pain, but I do my best to listen to him.

“Still, interesting as this is..I do really despise your kind and whether you think it or not you must be of some importance to speak with the spirituals. Maybe I should just kill you. Muck up whatever plans He’s got lined up.”

He grimaced slightly as he looked around the room.
“Disappointed in you a bit, the candles, there’s no red and the lotus incense isn’t right either. It’s a good thing I stopped in on my own; your summoning skills are for shit.”

He picks up a stoneware bottle from the table and takes a deep whiff of the contents.

“Well this is unexpected, how did you come to get this?”

“I know a guy, who knows a guy.” My reply punctuated with more taste of iron in my mouth.

“Must be some guy. This is Chassut Red, Egyptian burial wine. You know this has to ferment at least one hundred years before it’s even ready to drink? I’m flattered you went through the trouble but this isn’t my cup of tea.”

My reply, more whisper than words, tried to force it’s way out of my mouth
“It’s not for you.”

“How’s that again? Speak up.”

“I said, it’s not for you..”
I fight the ache to raise my arm and point over his shoulder, to the shadowed figure in the black cloak standing in the corner of the room.

“It’s for her.”



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Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-04-03 09:43:00 EDT (#)

yep Dante it was.
each level of Hell for a different Sin and all that.

thanks, next part is done. I'll be posting it soon.

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2012-04-03 09:35:34 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Nice ending. Just the right length also, any longer and it may have become a stereotypical angels/demons story.

When you mentioned the sin of pride, it reminded me of something a pastor friend once told me, that the "7 deadly sins" are actually never mentioned in any biblical text, they were an idea imported from Dante, and culturally assimilated into the cat-lick religion.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-04-02 17:15:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Joe Black? I kid. :D

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-03-30 10:51:02 EDT (#)

go for it

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2012-03-30 10:46:15 EDT (#)

yea do it.. we need more than 1-3 posts per day

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2012-03-30 10:44:14 EDT (#)

Also, don't everyone get there knickers in a knot but I am thinking about *TRYING* to write something semi-serious....an expansion on a dream sequence. YAY or NAY? One not so agreeable comment might send me into troll rage and I'll jump!

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2012-03-30 10:42:36 EDT (#)

I think fallen got a sex change, btw. And fuck, who invited FJ back. Now that bifag and his fat sow are gonna come back.

Oh, hey guys! Didn't see you there.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-03-30 10:21:42 EDT (#)

see. look an actual critical review.
That's all I ask. If you dont like a post, say so. Random one word -2's bug the shit out of me.
You have specific things you didnt like as you stated below, and I have no issue with your -2ing the post.

I space the dialogue like that because I hate the font and I think it's easier on the eyes. If you look at the others in the series I wander from how i'm presenting the story, some are narration, some are script like. I'm making this up as I go so I'm still not sure how I want to tell it as a whole.

Now bw aware, I write posts based on story telling. I am not a writer by any streach. I am the first person to point out my spelling and layout skills aren't for shit. Future posts of mine can suffer from the same, but you points are well taken.

Submitted by Gayvid_Gerrold at 2012-03-30 10:12:44 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

I agree with your comment about the meaninglessness of ratings on a site where you can just delete regular ones btw.

Submitted by Gayvid_Gerrold at 2012-03-30 10:03:13 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

I gave your post a -2 because it is in the standard Uber format where every bit of dialogue gets a new line when they say something because the writer (you) can't figure out a better way to distinguish the characters for us. Parts of the post look like a script except that you have narration where stage directions would normally be. You also use ellipses inappropriately and switch tenses too often (I'd put the limit at zero until you improve your skills - and never in the same chapter/post!) All that aside, I would have -2'd this for "fuckerhahahahahaha" alone.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-03-30 09:11:40 EDT (#)

sorry Gayvid, you commented before I could explain myself.
for those of you that missed it GG dropped a -2 "unreadable" on my post and I deleted it.
there's a couple of reasons why I did.

first since a poster can delete any negative reviewing, and make the rating go back up again, ratings mean nothing anymore. The only possible feature I could see is if a brand new user wandered in and used ratings to decide what to read first. and thats just a guess.

the point is before uber 1.0 tanked we had very few new users and the ones that did show up were trolls, mostly. If this new Uber is to survive its going to need people posting and trolling for trolling sake is not going to help that. We have had a few very skilled authors that posted here in the past that due to bullshit or trolling, have left.

I honestly dont care if someone dislikes something I post, not everyone likes everything, personal opinion and all that. If you hate something a user posts and you want to -2 it, go for it.
what is irritating is such a blanket -2 for no good reason, like Gayvids. Sico bagged on my post and because of my first sentence, he couldnt read the rest. Thats simply stupid, but its his opinion and I did not delete his comment. Sico can be a mega-ass but He can and has posted funny and or well written things in the past. He is an outstanding Troll, but thats not all he is.

The last thing I want is some pussified watered down touchy feely uber, where every one is nice and its all rainbows. Fuck that. What made Uber unique was the mix of idiocy and real writing, I dont want that to change. But I dont want to see some wasteland of no posts no new users and see the rare new user ran off because of bullshit trolling.

Fuck..I need to lay off the coffee, anyway you dropped your -2 back on GG, I wont delete this one.

Submitted by F.J.Bell at 2012-03-30 08:43:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Torturous.

Submitted by Gayvid_Gerrold at 2012-03-30 08:39:38 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Boo!

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-03-30 08:12:30 EDT (#)

I changed a FEW paragraphs for tense X, I knew I missed some. I post at work and with distractions I can't spend the time giving posts a full edit like I would like to.

Anyway as long as the story left you wanting to read some more, that's good enough for me.

Submitted by X54 at 2012-03-29 22:53:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-03-29 12:51:44 PDT (#)

I even changed a few paragraphs to keep the past/present tense correct

-----------------------

"The hands on the wall vanished and I collapse in a heap on the floor. I cough and spat a small amount of blood as I struggle to sit against the wall."

Correct in what way, exactly?

Nevertheless, I still want to know what happens next.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-03-29 19:54:06 EDT (#)

There's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with
family, religion, community service. But those were all dead ends. I
think this chair is the answer.

-- Homer Simpson
Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes?

Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-03-29 19:52:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

"Even Moses just got a shrubbery flambé. You sir are special amongst all men.”

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2012-03-29 17:26:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2012-03-29 16:23:31 EDT (#)

These are the instances when I'm glad you can review without rating, otherwise I would've chosen a -2 cause you couldn't even get the first sentence right. Maybe now everyone will realize that I'm not an asshole to be an asshole. Seriously, if you can't get the first sentence right, what makes you think I'm willing to continue to the next. I KNOW you don't care, but the reader in general.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-03-29 15:51:44 EDT (#)

I even changed a few paragraphs to keep the past/present tense correct

Submitted by Bubba2341 at 2012-03-29 15:35:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Well done. You used spellcheck, you asshole...:)

Submitted by Brdn_Nkd at 2012-03-29 14:07:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2012-03-29 13:09:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

+2 on faith.. and the intention to read later, glad to see some substance on Uber!

(I read the first one, but yea, WTFINRAT)

Submitted by AllyJeans at 2012-03-29 13:06:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-03-29 13:02:00 EDT (#)

WTFINRAT


Homer: I suppose you want to probe me. Well, you might as well get
it over with.

Kang: Stop! We have reached the limits of what rectal probing can
teach us.

Treehouse of Horror VII