login / register
...then wants to sue the customer for stopping the robbery. Robber had a fake gun and a real knife.
Welcome to Ubersite!

Texas Rattlesnake Chili

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-05-07 15:20:35 EDT
Rating: 1.0 on 9 ratings (20 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

When I used to live down in Oklahoma, you'd see a lot of rattlesnakes. I don't mean to say they were everywhere, like it was the southwestern version of The Well of Souls or something, but they weren't unheard of in that locale, either. They used to do something called The Rattlesnake Roundup, which is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. It's kind of like a county fair with a snake theme running through it. You could buy snakeskin boots, belts, wallets, hatbands, whatever-the-hell. There were demonstrations about what to do if you're out camping and wake up to find a rattler has crawled into your sleeping bag. Believe it or not, you do have a small range of behavioral options there, but none of them involve freaking out, screaming like a little girl or, really, sudden movements of any kind. There would a Rattlesnake Queen(aka Snake Charming Queen, which title inspired the sort of jokes I was too young for back then, but have come to understand with a vengeance since.)

Eventually, all the snakes that had been rounded up would be killed, skinned, and et. Interesting linguistical note here: Much like how Scott talks about the difference between pork and swine in Ivanhoe, 'eaten' is what happens to food at restaurants and dinner parties. When you buy wild game on a stick or in a bag from a man with a cart, it get 'et.' You could get it batter-fried, or BBQ'ed, or grilled, or in chili. Which brings us to the point of this little dissertation. Holidays usually involve parties, and some times those parties involve pot-luck. Instead of bringing the same boring bags of ice or potato chips you usually bring, here's something you can easily make that generally goes over pretty good. Or at least will add a little excitement to the evening, especially if you don't tell people it's rattlesnake until after they've eaten it.

Texas Rattlesnake Chili

N.B. I: If you live in a locale where snakes are not as plentiful or you don't like the idea of snake in your chili, you can substitute beef, or goat, or chicken, or lamb, or whatever-the-hell. Also, this will end being pretty spicy, so be told.

N.B. II: You'll notice there are no beans in this recipe. That's because beans don't belong in chili anymore than poker belongs on ESPN. You know who puts beans in chili? Communists and people who don't love Jesus, that's who.

1 ½ Rattlesnake chunks
2 tblsp of cumin
2 tblsp of paprika
1 tblsp of cayenne
1 cup minced onion
½ cup of chopped green pepper (optional)
2 tblsp minced garlic
1 tblsp fresh ground black pepper
1 ½ tsp of salt
½ of dried basil, crushed
1 tblsp California chili powder (hot)
1 tblsp Gebhardt chili powder
1 tblsp Hot New Mexico chili powder
1 16 oz. can of tomatoes cut up
2 8 oz. cans of tomato sauce
1 tsp of brown sugar
Tabasco sauce to taste
½ cup water

It's best if you slow cook it all day in a crock-pot. Stir it occasionally, just to let it know you've not forgotten it. Ten minutes or so before serving, add in the brown sugar and Tabasco. You can serve it with cheese and sour cream and/or cottage cheese. Add some biscuits or cornbread if you're feeling ambitious.

LotsOfSnakes.jpg
LotsOfSnakes.jpg


Review This Item

Rating:

Comment:




Reviews


Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-05-12 03:50:02 EDT (#)

I fried a rattler up. I did not even taste it because it almost bit my babies when they went to feed the rabbits. It was laying under the rabbit cage...waiting

The people who ate it said it was tasty

Submitted by Bubba2341 at 2012-05-08 20:02:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-05-08 11:40:04 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

What is this, the goddaman Cooking Channel?

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-05-08 08:34:23 EDT (#)

Submitted by orphelia at 2012-05-08 05:58:01 CDT I'd add beans, but I'm a total commie.

**************************************************************

Well, if there is one thing Bond films have taught me(and really, what haven't they taught me)it's that being a Commie can be forgiven as long as you're hot enough. So if you're going to be a Commie, it's best to also be hot.

Submitted by orphelia at 2012-05-08 06:58:01 EDT (#)

I'm on a very restrictive diet and I won't eat again until July (6 months in total).
I feel awesome though so it's no biggy.
I am indeed like a Russian doll (Matryoshka doll) in that I started out being the outer shell and I am almost the centre doll. Yay.


ps I'd add beans, but I'm a total commie.

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2012-05-08 05:20:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I like to et varmints and wild game.

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-05-08 00:51:52 EDT (#)

Submitted by Gayvid_Gerrold at 2012-05-08 00:45:24 EDT

Tried it, tastes like shit!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Then you obviously didn't make it right. Have someone read the recipe to you and try again.

Submitted by Gayvid_Gerrold at 2012-05-08 00:45:24 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Tried it, tastes like shit!

Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-05-07 22:28:46 EDT (#)

Submitted by Wildman at 2012-05-07 19:21:53 PDT (#)
Rating: 2

You know, if you keep the skins and properly mount/stretch them
you can get ok $ for them as hat-bands and other stuff.
~~~
The kids at Don Pedro throw them in the freezer and sell them to the makers of anti-venom..

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-05-07 22:24:33 EDT (#)

Submitted by orphelia at 2012-05-07 15:02:55 CDT (#)when i start eating agin i am gonna be vegan but if i ate meat i would give it a go

*******************************************

Like one of those Russian dolls, your answers just lead to more questions. When you 'start eating again'? I was unaware 'not eating' was an option for more than, say a week or so.

Submitted by Doodles at 2012-05-07 21:02:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Whoops

Submitted by Doodles at 2012-05-07 21:01:54 EDT (#)

+2 recipe

Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-05-07 19:28:00 EDT (#)

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-05-07 14:15:12 PDT (#)
Rating: 2

I have rattlesnakes in the yard sometimes. I usually leave them be, but now I believe I might just kill/clean/freeze a few until I get enough to make this recipe. FYI you could also substitute alligator, so long as you let it tenderize for a few days.
~~~~
KILL THE RATTLERS before the Fdog or MLW steps on one!

Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-05-07 19:26:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Auto +2 Gebhardt chili powder

snakes just creep me tha hell out...great rattler image

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-05-07 17:15:12 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I have rattlesnakes in the yard sometimes. I usually leave them be, but now I believe I might just kill/clean/freeze a few until I get enough to make this recipe. FYI you could also substitute alligator, so long as you let it tenderize for a few days.

Submitted by orphelia at 2012-05-07 16:02:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

My mistake, I got your user name muddled with the one who dislikes skrap
this was very skrap-esque. i thought it was pinched but evidentally not.
when i start eating agin i am gonna be vegan but if i ate meat i would give it a go

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-05-07 15:53:46 EDT (#)

I had Rattler once, no big deal

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-05-07 15:47:57 EDT (#)

Submitted by orphelia at 2012-05-07 14:23:02 CDT (#)

Tee hee you really don't like him do you?!

*****************************************

Really don't like who? I don't think I've been back long enough for anyone to have pissed in my Cheerios yet.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2012-05-07 15:44:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

I see they're still selling rattlesnakes by the pipe-full in Texahoma.
Bushel baskets are for pussies.

Submitted by orphelia at 2012-05-07 15:23:02 EDT (#)

Tee hee you really don't like him do you?!


Well, you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just
have to read the manual and press the right button.

-- Homer Simpson
Homer Defined