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Sage's Official Uber-Directory Submission.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-05-21 14:38:55 EDT
Rating: 1.29 on 27 ratings (73 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Everyone always says they're camwhoring "for the Uber-directory". So, I thought I'd submit my own mug. You know, as a contribution. To the Uber-directory, and all.

NFCCN (no further content considered necessary).


***



sage is and always will be fancy.jpg
sage is and always will be fancy.jpg


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Submitted by JonnyX at 2012-08-02 16:56:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Flack at 2012-06-07 22:50:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Hell.... I'd pee in her butt....

Submitted by Professional_Peon at 2012-06-07 22:38:19 EDT (#)

Too much lipstick for my lesbian. Hose it off, quit hiding under warpaint cause I think there is a pretty lady under all that.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-06-07 15:48:10 EDT (#)

Shlongy's old.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2012-06-07 15:04:21 EDT (#)

Shlongy, seriously, you're old and have no idea what you're even talking about any more do you?

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-06-07 14:11:43 EDT (#)

sico- Seriously, which example is a "typo" and which one is a "stupido"?

You are 0 for 3.

On your way to 0 for life.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2012-06-07 13:06:38 EDT (#)

Kind of like spelling "wrong" wrongly? You missed the part where you STFU, that's for sure. And Bubs, I am hardly obsessed with this average mule.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-06-07 12:46:59 EDT (#)

It's always funny when sico tries to pretend he's smart or clever...by using big words like "cue".

And Einstein, even if you were trying to spell the OTHER "queue", you fucked that up, too, in addition to using the worng word.

Submitted by Bubs at 2012-06-07 12:30:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

simple simon sure is obssessed with this chick. thought your therapist would've worked you through your underlying emotional turmoil during the past several years.


gotta spend your washingtons on something other than hookers and hand lotion though, hey...

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2012-06-07 12:08:47 EDT (#)

Nobody knows who Don Rickles is unless they're in their 70's you geriatric left shoe in Heather Mills' closet.

That is your qeue to STFU.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-06-07 11:09:10 EDT (#)

Don Rickles, slightly retarded and less funny nephew, below.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2012-06-06 14:59:23 EDT (#)

Fourth grade, that was what, 62 years, a pair of wifes, 13 dogs, two receding hairlines ago for you?

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-06-06 14:51:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Fuck the Phillies...I think I speak for everyone here when I say it's much more entertaining watching you and sage "go at it".

It reminds me of fourth grade, playground at recess.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2012-06-06 11:01:32 EDT (#)

Anyone care to comment as to why the Phillies can't get it together this year besides the obvious injury issues?

Field this one on two posts, eh?

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2012-06-06 10:55:37 EDT (#)

Look how easily you're riled.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2012-06-06 10:55:22 EDT (#)

hahaha, Your delusions are ridiculous. Me get to you? lol, was it not I who introduced you here? If you weren't still clutching you'd have long parted ways. Seriously, I think you might be a tinge schizo.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-06-06 10:51:38 EDT (#)

Look Sibo, the accounts of your friends mean nothing to me. I find it humorous that, nearly three years after our parting, you still try to find ways to get to me. Let it go, dude. Seriously. I'm beginning to feel sorry for you.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2012-06-06 10:49:58 EDT (#)

Don't get me wrong...I'm not saying it's a bad thing...just still have the microwave bff in your fantasy land. Go on, with your bad self.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-06-06 10:49:39 EDT (#)

O: I don't know anything about D_R so I have nothing to go on, Either way, I don't care what D_R (or whoever is running that account) says, positive or negative. I don't have time to hold grudges against internet trolls cum nice guys.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2012-06-06 10:45:07 EDT (#)

They approached you? Lol... J--I walked right by her. L--She stared at us awkwardly until we were forced to say hi. You live in a fantasy land, lol.

Submitted by orphelia at 2012-06-06 10:42:41 EDT (#)

do you really think it's danran sage?

Submitted by Danger_Ranger at 2012-06-06 10:30:18 EDT (#)

And thank you.

Submitted by Danger_Ranger at 2012-06-06 10:26:19 EDT (#)

I mean it Sage, I've been an ass.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-06-06 10:14:21 EDT (#)

have we figured out who is running Dan rans account yet? I wasnt paying attention.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-06-06 10:05:04 EDT (#)

D_R: Based on my experiences here at Uber, I'm loathe to believe what you're saying is sincere. That said, I'm not invested enough in you to hold a grudge, so I forgive you and I accept your apology. Your words were very kind.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-06-06 10:02:43 EDT (#)

Wildman...coupla questions for you regarding your comments. First off, do you manually delete them after X hours or is there something you set up to automatically remove them? And secondly, why do you time them out?

Submitted by Danger_Ranger at 2012-06-05 20:55:55 EDT (#)

oh i touchy alright

*chuckle* - i said i'd 'feel less like an ass' down there. Like THAT would ever happen i LOVE ass.

Submitted by Wildman at 2012-06-05 20:18:06 EDT (#)

You can look, but NO touchy.

Submitted by Danger_Ranger at 2012-06-05 19:21:43 EDT (#)

i would like to see your 'inner light' wildman

Submitted by Danger_Ranger at 2012-06-05 18:47:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I think about you all the time Sage. I am very sorry for all the horrid things I have said about you in the past and upon quiet reflection arrived at the conclusion that I said those terrible things because I was attracted to you and becoming confused (given my orientation) instead of telling you how beautiful I thought you were I preferenced the coward's way out rather than facing my confusion and elected to yell baleful, immature comments at you across the internet.

If I could take back the horrible things I've said.....I could delete them I guess - if and when they reappear on republished posts and I *will* delete them starting right HERE but if I could somehow delete them from your memory and thereby.....'delete' or WIPE the dislike and calamitous unfavorable regard you must hold me in I would be much happier and feel less like an ass.

I mean what I say you are truly very beautiful and I am very sorry for all the terrible things I have said to you.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-06-05 17:19:23 EDT (#)

Funny you should say so, Sico. It was your "friends" that actually approached me, and in usual Sage fashion, I was gracious and cordial.

Coco Chanel said it best: "I don't care what you think about me; I don't think about you at all."

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2012-06-05 15:28:17 EDT (#)

To hear how my friends tried to ignore you this weekend was funny. Then one of them called you my ex :( and I threw up a little on my chin.

Submitted by STIXS at 2012-05-28 12:04:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

As a dentist, I can say that your smile line is spectacular, minor flaws in gingival height and incisal edge location aside.

Submitted by whiskey_jack at 2012-05-27 19:02:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Orkson Welles at 2012-05-25 14:52:23 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

I could fit my cock up that nostril its so gigantic.

*****************
That's not really info I'd be bragging about...

I mean this as a compliment, but you have total bee jay eyes. I just hope you have technique to go with it. Fuck I'm not that big don't just suck the end, or fuck at least use your hand too! Disappointing bee jays are the worst.

rant out

Submitted by Orkson Welles at 2012-05-25 14:52:23 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

I could fit my cock up that nostril its so gigantic.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-05-24 11:20:30 EDT (#)

LOL @ MWG below...I have this bookmarked.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rX7wtNOkuHo

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2012-05-24 11:14:10 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

HA!Ha.- Nelson Muntz, every simpsons episode ever.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-05-24 10:16:55 EDT (#)

Oh yeah and I don't play "words with friends". I prefer "draw something". :D

Submitted by Sage at 2012-05-24 10:16:03 EDT (#)

Actually, HAC, I loathe Facebook, and think status updates are extremely lame. This picture is not on Facebook.

I am not one to contact people - I let people come to me if they want/need to talk. Also I'm not a big fan of texting.

I fake tan because a) I'm fair skinned and don't want to blind people and b) I like the way it looks. By fake tan, I mean self-tanning lotion (preferably with sunscreen - Jergens makes a good one), not a tanning bed.

So, STFU & GTFO, immed.

Submitted by HighatChurch at 2012-05-24 08:34:45 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

"immed" - short for immediately? fake tan? i bet you're one of these people that can't run to the store for milk and bread without texting 5 friends, posting a status update and getting that double word score in words with friends. do you log into facebook just to see how many people 'liked' this photo of you? does it make you feel better?

how old are you? if you were born after 1990 its partly forgivable.. otherwise I pity you.

Submitted by DeMoNiC at 2012-05-24 07:18:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I'd hit it.

Submitted by HighatChurch at 2012-05-23 11:52:53 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

what am i supposed to do with this?

Submitted by Yes at 2012-05-23 10:39:11 EDT (#)

congratulations on having a face and body that conform to the american standards of attractiveness!

Makes life easier.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-05-23 09:35:51 EDT (#)

Redskies - I gotta admit, I see the resemblance ;)

i_see - I got my nose from my Dad. It's the only part of me that looks like him, and I don't mind that it's slightly large (ironically, my sense of smell isn't very good). It gives me character :)

Buster - ha! I am wearing one bra (the neon orange straps), and a camisole (navy blue), under my purple shirt. Yes, I wear neon colored bras. Looks good with a fake tan :)

X54 & Roadie...I must see this poster immed!!

Submitted by orphelia at 2012-05-23 02:02:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You have nice teeth.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-05-23 00:56:27 EDT (#)

Submitted by X54 at 2012-05-22 20:26:09 PDT (#)
Rating: 2

I think I saw you on a poster last time I went to the dentist.
~~~
I saw the same poster!:)

Submitted by X54 at 2012-05-22 23:26:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I think I saw you on a poster last time I went to the dentist.

Submitted by i_see_dumb_people at 2012-05-22 19:52:12 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

your nostrils are flari...oh wait.

Submitted by Buster at 2012-05-22 19:22:45 EDT (#)

how many bras are you wearing? are you sporting pony kegs?

Submitted by redskieslookfake at 2012-05-22 18:36:47 EDT (#)


Submitted by grÜeMaster emeritus and uberlord supreme at 2012-05-22 12:07:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Sage at 2012-05-22 11:58:31 EDT (#)

*measurEments

Submitted by Sage at 2012-05-22 11:58:14 EDT (#)

I never "had" you to begin with, sico. :D

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-05-22 10:18:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

I need more details besides measurements and height, if I'm going to seriously consider banging you.

Submitted by Wisher at 2012-05-22 01:14:10 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You're so beautiful! Your inner light is glowing.

Submitted by maiorano84 at 2012-05-21 23:43:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I'll refrain from the horse jokes too, because this is a good picture. But that doesn't mean I won't say that I want to ride you.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-05-21 23:18:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Yep, you are fancy!

Submitted by Sage at 2012-05-21 22:01:26 EDT (#)

Not to fall into a trap Wildman is setting for me, but I assure you that 30 double A is not my bra size, nor was photoshop used. I took this with my iphone and used a filter on Instagram (I wanna say "Sierra"), hence the "cloudiness" FALLEN mentioned.

My measurements are 34-24-35 to be exact. And I'm 5'3" if anyone was wondering.

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-05-21 20:44:03 EDT (#)

You're an atttactive woman.

Submitted by Spam at 2012-05-21 17:37:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I would.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2012-05-21 17:20:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

That's a pretty good pic, sage.
I can think of no good horse jokes at the moment.
That's how good it is.
The Freak says hello.

Submitted by Bestmate at 2012-05-21 16:42:54 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Nice picture, beautiful girl.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-05-21 16:10:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Well, it takes guts to post that photo.

Also, show me your hole...again.

Submitted by JoeyG at 2012-05-21 15:40:37 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Have a +2 for old time's sake, I've only just discovered this place is up and running again.

Can't decide if it's a good thing or a bad thing.

Probably both.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-05-21 15:27:47 EDT (#)

No sense in explaining, Director. Carry on with your dickery. As I said before, I'm glad it ends somewhere.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2012-05-21 15:22:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Holy christ! I sometimes wonder how I allowed my penis to enter that horsey, gnashing, face blender. Good day.

Submitted by Director at 2012-05-21 15:18:47 EDT (#)
Rating: -1

I remember now why I'm a total dick to you, Seabiscuit.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-05-21 15:08:02 EDT (#)

Also, FALLEN...

*worst
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ok, I deserved that.


Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-05-21 15:07:04 EDT (#)

Thats an Iphone camera?
not very impressive. I expected glare removal and better colors.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-05-21 15:05:20 EDT (#)

Also, FALLEN...

*worst

Submitted by Sage at 2012-05-21 15:04:56 EDT (#)

FALLEN, it's actually my iPhone camera.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-05-21 14:58:57 EDT (#)

You have the worse camera in the world, your pics are always so cloudy








and equine

Submitted by Sage at 2012-05-21 14:40:45 EDT (#)

Yes, my teeth are still horrifically big. Or horse-rifically big, whatevs.


Time to fertilize the lawn. A couple of 500-pound bags should do it!

-- Homer Simpson
Homer vs. Patty and Selma