The BOSH Man! THROWS A DAVID BOWIE PARTY!!Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2012-06-07 11:33:56 EDT
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The other day I saw a guy walking around town with his shirt off screaming "KEEP ON ROCKIN IN THE FREE WORLD" at the top of his lungs. Not just to the world in general, instead he would get within a few inches of a passerby's face and yell it directly at them.
"KEEP ON ROCKIN IN THE FREE WORLD"
"KEEP ON ROCKIN IN THE FREE WORLD"
This went on for six hours straight. Most people listened, one guy barfed, and then this other guy responded by headbutting the shirtless dude.
"That's from a Neil Young song, and Neil Young is Canadian, and Canadian music is for faggots"
"Fuckin A, dude. Canadian ANYTHING is for faggots, in fact, if you like Canadians you're pretty much the biggest faggot I know"
The headbutter nodded in agreement, I lit up a cigarette.
"Tell me about it. Now what?"
I thought for a second. "Well I think our best option at this point is to throw a pretty cool David Bowie party"
"What's a David Bowie party?"
With that, I kicked him in the neck and told him to fuck off. The funny part is, I don't know what the fuck a David Bowie party is, either.
At this point, I went to the store and bought a silver track suit and painted my face so I looked kind of like Davie Bowie, the I bought a boom box and strated cranking David Bowie tunes and drinking a lot of beer. Soon enough babes from all over town were dancing all around me, and we had a pretty gnarly parade going. More and more babes joined in until our parade was a mile long. Everyone was dancing to David Bowie tunes and getting real drunk.
Suddenly, David Bowie teleported from outer space right to the front of the parade. He grabbed a baton and everyone really partied hard while he performed 'Let's Dance'.
He gave the crowd a moment to dull its wild applause before addressing them.
"Boshman, Dudettes, this is a most wonderful David Bowie party, the likes of which the galaxy has never seen!"
More wild applause greeted this.
"I saw your David Bowie party from outer space and had to join in the fun. However, I also came to earth on urgent business! I am looking for Major Tom. Last I heard he was running around town with his shirt off screaming Neil Young lyrics in an attempt lure Neil to this location so we could record a most radical compilation of space tunes to ever exist"
The crowd looked at me and got real scared about what was going to happen next, Bowie just looked confused, one chick shit her pants.
I gave the signal and all of a sudden Thunderlips jumped off the moon and gave David Bowie the most powerful leg drop ever recorded. Then he got up and shotgunned a beer. I just lit up a cigarette and nodded in agreement.
"That was pretty rad, Thunderlips." I turned my attention to the crowd: "And so our David Bowie party ends! He was going to combine his talents with a Canadian and for that there is no forgiveness!"
The sound of heads nodding in agreement and about 20 people shitting their pants at once was the crowd's response.
"Don't worry, there are more parties to be had, just not with these faggots!"
With that I set the whole town on fire, hopped on my moped and rode into the sunset. I heard that Michael Mcdonald was recording a new album a few miles west of the David Bowie party site, and figured that would be as good a place as any to start my own landscaping business.