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SHE WON'T SLEEP IN THE SAME BED WITH HIM ANYMORE
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If You Don't Want Criticism, Don't Be A Writer

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-06-07 18:18:41 EDT
Rating: 0.28 on 8 ratings (28 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

As I've said before, 100 characters is enough for a bumper sticker, but not a nuanced argument. Plus, I'm narcissistic enough to want my name attached to my opinions.

When I found Ubersite back in 2001-2002 or so, I was new to the Internet in general and discussion forums in specific. I read it for about a week or so, and then decided to try my hand at posting.

And it was terrible. And I got told that. Repeatedly, in a number of ways.

And they were right. There are reasons I've not republished a lot of those first posts, and 99% of them have to do with the quality. I didn't tuck my tail between my legs and run away though. I stuck it out, and I got better. As far as the mechanics of writing go, at least. Personality wise I'm still kind of an asshole. If anything, the intervening years have only made that worse.

It wasn't just me that did that, either. There were all kinds of people who came along, posted something, got treated like Ned Beatty in 'Deliverance' and still stuck around. They dealt with it in various positive and negative way, but they still stuck around.

Granted, there is a difference between 'Die in a fire' and 'Your work is terrible to the point where I wonder if you typed it with your elbows and here's why.' But if you post your work on the Internet, especially on a discussion forum, you should expect the former and pay it as little mind as it took effort to type. The latter, though, you should heed, even if it does scrape you raw.

Because your first efforts are going to be terrible. Like I said earlier, there is a reason Michelangelo was contracted to paint the Sistine Chapel at the height of his career and not the beginning.

Criticism is a good thing, because it drives you to be better, even if it's in a Dr. Frankenstein "I'll show them, I'll show them ALL!' kind of way.


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Submitted by TuTs at 2012-06-17 10:33:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

I started on Uber, my shit sucked. Now I'm paid to write. Having to condense your shitty writing to fit a space improves the quality exponentially.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-06-11 15:39:46 EDT (#)

Perhaps. But only to the real McBain.

Not some whiny, shitass imposter.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-06-11 11:13:45 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

The way that I see it, why don't you just shut the fuck up?

Fucking crybaby.

I haven't shit on anyone.


That didn't deserve it.

Submitted by pen_name at 2012-06-10 03:08:15 EDT (#)

Submitted by McBain at 2012-06-08 11:18:43 EDT (#)

Submitted by orphelia at 2012-06-08 02:43:56 EDT (#)

WHY DO THINGS KEEP DISAPPEARING FROM THE FRONT PAGE?
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It's called a Delete button, you daft cunt. Best thing ever to happen to Uber.

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Fuck you, asshole. Delete ruined the site. Take-backs are for kindergartners playing draw poker with their dads.

Also, watch your mouth. Don't call her daft.

Submitted by pen_name at 2012-06-10 03:05:32 EDT (#)

This sucks.

Personally I've had many posts praised for their brilliance. Hell I got an alter on B@W because I was that good. I don't mean to brag but I mean to brag. If someone says you stink there is no coming back. You'll never get good. You'll get average. I think Steve King said that. I call him Steve because were buds, and he is always asking me writing advice.

Submitted by Snarky Jones at 2012-06-08 17:04:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

I can dig the spirit of this post. Plus, the truth of it is both painful and potentially inspir-gawddamn-rational.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-06-08 11:17:47 EDT (#)

cough-dirtydickwhore-cough

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2012-06-08 10:58:01 EDT (#)

Hey, fuck you, FALLEN! I don't blow everybody.
...much

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-06-08 10:43:25 EDT (#)

I demanded that she show me her hole; maybe that's why she left.

Tough shit.

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2012-06-08 09:19:53 EDT (#)

she had a lot of old posts that looked funny, i thought her hunger games story was a joke

either way im drinking a beer tonight, so what do i care.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-06-08 08:58:08 EDT (#)

A. I wasnt mean to kittygul, I dont think I even commented on either of her posts. They were horribly written so my guess is either it was a kid or most likely an alter.

B. I did comment on the revised post because it was dan ran or whoever is pretending to be dan ran and I called him out on it. my comments got deleted to keep the ruse alive then they deleted the whole post.

C. I dont blow everyone, I dont + or - much unless its realy good or bad, since ratings dont matter.
slvr on the other hand.....

Anyway I understand Bart allowing the removal of posts I just dont like the abuse of it by posting a trolling post then removing it. Pretty sure thats not what he had in mind.
I agree... own it, I reposted almost all of my old stuff good and bad unless it was a post that Isn't relevant about anything today. my very first post sucked and was a solid -2 forever.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-06-08 07:11:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Unfortunately for me, my first post was very well received. I mean it deserved the great ratings, of course, but getting them made me think I could write. How wrong I was. My subsequent efforts were thoroughly trashed and reasonably so - they sucked out loud. I even did a post about my experience of posting on Uber, which was a short narrative accompanied by a video of a large rabbit getting assploded by a race car. And yet, here I am. I got better at posting (though I'm admittedly still limited to lots of pictures and a little text) because of the reviews and feedback from the Uberverse. For staying, I got to read some classic stuff by people who actually can write and got to do some things I would not have even considered (such as commissioning artwork from an internet stranger or sticking an arrow in my neck).

If whatsercunt doesn't think it's worth it to stick around, then it's for the best that she run away crying. She can fuck off over to the hearts-and-flowers version of Uber, whatever that is. But if you're going to put 'gurl' in your username, I'd expect you to be able to take an internet punch. Just sayin'.

Submitted by orphelia at 2012-06-08 03:28:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Thank you for your replies. I only saw snippets of what was said to kittywhatever, but mostly I agreed. The stories were pretty awful. I think much worst has been said and posted about me, maybe I have rhino thickness skin, maybe I take things with a handful of salt or maybe I like the abuse.

Whilst it's a shame she/he has left, perhaps Uber just isn't for them. I thought they were so poorly written I thought it was an alter anyway.

And I am with Shlong on this one. Her user name said it all. Blah.

Bart, it is fucking annoying that people can delete posts. Also sort out a chat/PM function. Please. I'll bake you a cake of extraordinary taste if you do.

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-06-08 02:53:40 EDT (#)

Submitted by orphelia at 2012-06-08 01:37:56 CDT: WHAT. THE. FUCK.

What did I miss? The kitty posts were gash, my 11 year old son could do better. Were silvr and FALLEN mean? Who the fuck is Dandy Randy? What the Hell is going on?
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To answer your questions in order:
1. Terrible writing
2. Not especially. I was probably worse. Silvr actually started out nice until I pointed out the terrible consequences of such behavior.
3. I have no idea.
4. The usual shenanigans.

Submitted by orphelia at 2012-06-08 02:43:56 EDT (#)

WHY DO THINGS KEEP DISAPPEARING FROM THE FRONT PAGE?

Submitted by orphelia at 2012-06-08 02:37:56 EDT (#)

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

What did I miss? The kitty posts were gash, my 11 year old son could do better. Were silvr and FALLEN mean? Who the fuck is Dandy Randy? What the Hell is going on?

Submitted by Danger_Ranger at 2012-06-08 02:07:22 EDT (#)

I think fallen and silvr and wildman probably should have cut her a bit of slack, but what's done is done. If we keep posting positive comments on the uberboard she might read them and hopefully come back.

That's all I have to say on the matter.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-06-07 23:21:19 EDT (#)

i give a fuk about seeing a lotta new posts when i come here.

i score E's for effort. heh

course, i did not exactly READ the whole....oh fukitol

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-06-07 23:01:30 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Who gives a fuck about hellokittygurl? Her stories blew.

I hated her Uber name, too.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2012-06-07 22:13:45 EDT (#)

I tried to be nice to hellokittygurl. I tried to give fair warning, too. I specifically stated that if he/she/it couldn't handle having his/her/it's work shredded, he/she/it shouldn't post anymore. And the answer was given ten minutes later with the next post. Regardless, is that really what we want to wade through here? 14 posts a day from the same user, all poorly proofed and edited, vomited on the front page like they were penned by a drunken preteen Nora Roberts?

The trial by fire is a part of Uber. The formula of what we want to see isn't complicated, either. We want a post to be semi-entertaining/interesting. We want to be able to read it without wondering if it was created through the babelfish translator. We like pretty/funny/dirty pictures. We want a little content, but not too damned much. That's it. If someone wants lovey-dovey encouragement and sycophantic, insincere platitudes, there are thousands of moderated forums out there for them to go.

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-06-07 21:35:31 EDT (#)

Submitted by Johnny99 at 2012-06-07 20:18:34 CDT: Gee...thanks for posting this clarification, Hemmingway. I'm not sure we would have known had you not taken the time to explain to us all.
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Not a problem, it's what I'm here for. It's what I do, I'm a giver.

Submitted by Johnny99 at 2012-06-07 20:18:34 CDT: creative writing is something you can do or something you cannot do. You're either a writer or you're not. You can write stories, and if you're shitty at it, you can internalize criticism, work hard, and get less shitty at it...but you can never be good at it if you're not good at it.

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I don't know, I kind of disagree here. I don't think creative writing is some sort of magical special talent that you're born with. I know some people that would like the rest of the world to think so, for various reasons, but I don't think that it is so.

Yeah, sometimes some people are born with a knack for something or other, be it writing or catching a football. And given that, they're going to be better at whatever it is than a lot of other people would be. But I don't think that if you're not born with that knack, you might as well not try. Hard work and a desire to improve counts for a lot. We can't all be Bobby Fischer, but like the saying goes, if you play against good players long enough, you'll learn to play good chess.

Submitted by i_see_dumb_people at 2012-06-07 21:26:27 EDT (#)

lol

Submitted by Johnny99 at 2012-06-07 21:18:34 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Gee...thanks for posting this clarification, Hemmingway. I'm not sure we would have known had you not taken the time to explain to us all.

FYI...creative writing is something you can do or something you cannot do. You're either a writer or you're not. You can write stories, and if you're shitty at it, you can internalize criticism, work hard, and get less shitty at it...but you can never be good at it if you're not good at it.

Submitted by i_see_dumb_people at 2012-06-07 21:12:44 EDT (#)

Submitted by FATMANTPK at 2012-06-07 21:05:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

I am good for R.IP. posts and short stuff.... but have real trouble articulating longer stuff.
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well that never stopped danran

THE UBERBOARD SAYS IT WAS SILVRPOOF AND WILDMAN AND FALLEN WHICH SURPRISES ME BECAUSE SILVR AND FALLEN ARE USUALLY BLOWING EVERYONE DETAILS PLZ!

Submitted by FATMANTPK at 2012-06-07 21:05:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

I never gave up either. My writing still sucks. I am good for R.IP. posts and short stuff (Ten Tiny True Stories), but have real trouble articulating longer stuff.

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-06-07 20:58:57 EDT (#)

Submitted by Buster at 2012-06-07 19:11:27 CDT: are you writing about writing?
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I guess. In a way, I suppose. I'm more talking about people's need to have a thicker skin and not be such fragile flowers.

Submitted by i_see_dumb_people at 2012-06-07 20:31:37 EDT (#)

OMG WHAT HAPPENED WHAT'S ALL THE FUSS ABOUT

Submitted by Buster at 2012-06-07 20:11:27 EDT (#)

are you writing about writing?


Marge: Homer, you're his father. You've got to reason with him.

Homer: Oh, that never works. He's a goner!

Bart the Daredevil