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Rice...really good if you're craving 3000 of something.

Submitted by Ducky at 2012-06-10 00:33:31 EDT
Rating: 2.0 on 12 ratings (15 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

For the last couple of years I have been lumbering around Indonesia, China, Korea, Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, Japan – and Canada (of course!). Canada excluded, I figure I can cross "follow the path of every old dirty mans perverted sex tourism dream" off of my bucket list. I have LOTS of things on my bucket list.

Okay okay I don't have a bucket list I don't even have a proper mailing address but if I DID, that would be on it, and subsequently I would be able to cross it off.

I assure you though, as a mostly not overly pervy, not overly old (well not according to my students who think I've been around since Christ was a child), and not overly male erm…person – I was only there for the culture, the scenery, and to check out the locals – NOT IN A SEX TOURISM WAY BUT IN A SOCIOLOGICALLY CURIOUS WAY. I have managed to buy a plastic bag filled with moonshine, whiskey with snakes floating in it, some strange drink made of vitreous fluid and tequila, and eaten ice-cream out of a small novelty latrine. I’ve danced on beaches, in treehouses, and down the street. I've been asked if I wanted to see a woman thread a needle with her lady bits, watched people eat live octopus, gone sailing with strangers who turned out to be lovely, bribed a guard to let me up to the top bit of Angkor Wat before it had opened for the day, let fish nibble my massively oversized feet, and have just generally been enjoying life.

On my latest Indonesian adventure, five of us were preened, bitten (no skin breaking), pissed on, and ransacked by monkeys. In inadvertent retaliation, one of our group became sick and somehow managed to vomit directly ON one, but they ended up besting us overall by stealing our breakfast each morning and throwing my CAMERA into a pool *shakes fist ruefully. I chased it with a stick but it ran up a tree and I'm too fat for that sort of shit so I just gave it a really really stern glare. They are such sneaky little fuckers.

I think all 12 of you are fantastic. I have said as much on the uberboard, which I think we can all agree clearly makes it genuine.

Here are a bunch of pictures from different places...all attached withOUT sending a picture of tubgirl to my mother you cheeky fuckers. I spelled Khao wrong in one of the file attachments, but I assure you I did it ON PURPOSE, and NOT by accident and am just too lazy to fix it. The pictures that look like something out of Tron - made entirely with ice and taken close to the Russian border last New Years...it was the coolest, and one of the coldest places I've been.


Angkor Wat.jpg
Angkor Wat.jpg

Cambodia.jpg
Cambodia.jpg

Cambodia1.jpg
Cambodia1.jpg

HarbinChina1.jpg
HarbinChina1.jpg

HarbinChina2.jpg
HarbinChina2.jpg

The Wall.jpg
The Wall.jpg

Xi'anChina.jpg
Xi'anChina.jpg

Korea1.jpg
Korea1.jpg

Korea.jpg
Korea.jpg

Korea2.jpg
Korea2.jpg

KillingFieldsCambodia.jpg
KillingFieldsCambodia.jpg

MekongVietnam.jpg
MekongVietnam.jpg

Vietnam1.jpg
Vietnam1.jpg

SailingBali.jpg
SailingBali.jpg

MonkeyBali1.jpg
MonkeyBali1.jpg

MonkeyBali.jpg
MonkeyBali.jpg

UluwatuBali.jpg
UluwatuBali.jpg

AnythingyouwantonKaosanRoadThailand.jpg
AnythingyouwantonKaosanRoadThailand.jpg

GasStationThailand.jpg
GasStationThailand.jpg

SametThailand.jpg
SametThailand.jpg

GulfofThailand.jpg
GulfofThailand.jpg


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Submitted by orphelia at 2012-06-12 02:00:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I love this post! Thanks for sharing - but I'd like to hear and see more!

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2012-06-11 14:03:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You went to all those places and didn't indulge in renting a gigalo? Not even once? And how could you, while travelling for purposes of sociology not watch a woman thread a needle with her lady bits?

Nice pictures anyway.

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-06-10 21:22:44 EDT (#)

It was a baby octopus, so yeah, it was just me. Struggling with a multi-limbed tentacled horror, I tell you what, I've never felt more like a Japanese schoolgirl than I did at that moment.

Submitted by Ducky at 2012-06-10 21:04:28 EDT (#)

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-06-10 10:29:28 PDT (#)
Rating: 2

"I've been asked if I wanted to see a woman thread a needle with her lady bits"

Well, did you? I saw a girl smoke a cigar with hers once, in Tijuana.

"watched people eat live octopus"

I've eaten live octopus before. It's a bit of a struggle because the octopus doesn't want to be eaten, for which I do not blame it.
_________________-

I did....not. In retrospect maybe I should have but no. The thought of eating live octopus...I could watch but couldn't actually do it...too much for me...suctioning onto the chopsticks and making things difficult and what not. Did you eat a whole one or did you share with people. It makes me think of Old Boy...quintessential Korea right there.

Submitted by Ducky at 2012-06-10 20:59:52 EDT (#)

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2012-06-10 03:12:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Stunning photos! Come on, you can tell us, you fed D_R to the monkeys didn't you?
____________

Thanks Saccy, and don't be silly monkeys only like to eat fruity thi... *blinks. Well I have NO idea what you are talking aboot.

Submitted by X54 at 2012-06-10 20:07:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Shangri La

Submitted by loki at 2012-06-10 14:20:10 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

oh my god that's cool

except for the monkeys

Monkeys scare me, with good reason. They will rip your balls off. Not that I have any balls but there it is.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2012-06-10 14:08:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Awesome stuff.

Submitted by Silent Renegade at 2012-06-10 13:42:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I lived in Thailand for 4 years and South Korea for 2.... awesome pics. Makes me miss it very much!

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-06-10 13:29:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

"I've been asked if I wanted to see a woman thread a needle with her lady bits"

Well, did you? I saw a girl smoke a cigar with hers once, in Tijuana.

"watched people eat live octopus"

I've eaten live octopus before. It's a bit of a struggle because the octopus doesn't want to be eaten, for which I do not blame it.



Submitted by Doodles at 2012-06-10 11:25:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Yup

Submitted by Poots at 2012-06-10 09:38:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

First of all, "I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something" -Mitch Hedgear

Second of all SHASHIRA AIKAY!

Third of all I am super jealous of your awesome adventure. I really like the Harbin China photos.

Fourth of July all YOUR LUCKY YOUR NOT A GOD DAMNED ZOMBIE! Jesus fuckin Christ!

Lastly, I love you.

P.s. I know how to spell his name I just don't give a mother with a dick fuck.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-06-10 08:18:54 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

They say travel broadens the mind while education deepens it. Or some shit like that. Awesome photos. Way to not get Monkey AIDS.

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2012-06-10 03:12:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Stunning photos! Come on, you can tell us, you fed D_R to the monkeys didn't you?

Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-06-10 01:18:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

The photos are magnifico! I wish to see more soon. Stay safe globe trotter.


Bart: You know, Grampa kinda smells like that trunk in the garage
where the bottom's all wet.

Lisa: Nuh-uh, he smells more like a photo lab.

Homer: Stop it, both of you! Grampa smells like a regular old man,
which is more like a hallway in a hospital.

Old Money