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My Fall Into Lameness (The Best Decision I Ever Made)

Submitted by ridiculous at 2012-07-07 10:51:06 EDT
Rating: 1.0 on 18 ratings (41 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

I play Vampire The Masquerade... There, I said it.

Go ahead... get it out.

Done?

FFS Control yourself, you ass!

Right... so where was I... I'm an Uber geek, well, not that kind... oh shut up you know what I mean. While Uber was dead, I was, understandably, quite bored. I began searching for writing sites but they seemed to either have silly rules or insisted that users only diarrhea shit rainbows for one another to slurp through a straw of faggotry. So I continued searching...

One day I stumbled across a forum style site called myworldofdarkness and started poking at it for a reaction. Well it wasn't a creative writing forum but it had creative writing, right? So I hopped into their chat and well... I used to role play when I was a kid soooo why the hell not? Bored in Africa and all. Yeah... I got hooked.

So there I sat, day after day in the game and talking with the various other players and about a month into it, my character, who had pissed off the members of his own clan and got himself kicked out, was walking through a park and met another vampire who offered to help him out. So ok, he had a patron, I was learning the game so it meant I had someone to hang out with and bounce questions about the game off of. Well, gradually, we, the players started talking more, and the characters of course, they ended up starting a relationship... So did we.

I've found the woman of my dreams. She is intelligent, kind, has a huge heart and is incredibly creative. She writes like I've never seen before and makes her own jewelry. She dreams of opening her own crafts store one day... and of marrying me.

We've set a date for this coming May but given recent developments, namely: "Fuck this shit I can't be away from her for four months at a time! Africaland can go suck a cock!" I'm pretty damned sure we're going to move that forward a bit.

She has a daughter, well, we have a daughter. She's three and decided to start calling me 'Daddy', without any prompting by either of us, the third day I was home. The first night I tucked that little girl into bed, kissed her goodnight and she replied "I love you daddy." the big ogre leaked a little. My daughter screams my name and will do anything in her power to get in front of the camera and wave to me when I call on Skype.

I'm a happy man.

Hope all of you have been well, I'll drop in from time to time.

Ridic


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Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-07-10 13:10:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

christ on a stick I take a long weekend and this shit happens?
ok first, let me get this out of the way.

you play Masquerade?
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

*ahem*

ok, on to the meat of the post. I wish you guys good luck.
I wildly doubt the wisdom in exposing your lady to Uber, but whats done is done.
well look...lets just wish ridic the best in this and not wish any usual uber hardships on him.
the poor lumpy bastard got some one to fall in love with him and even had sexytimes without roofies.
good for him

*you didnt slip that girl roofies did you? we talked about that after what you did last time. No more date rape drugs*

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-07-09 19:43:43 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

What INFLAT-NOGGIN said.

Submitted by apollo88 at 2012-07-09 19:13:57 EDT (#)

not yours dude, never will be, and will be the first thing thrown in your face when the no doubt weird, psycho bitch you met on the internet ROLE PLAYING VAMPIRES, let her call you daddy after three days sleeps around, divorces you, then hooks you for child support in a few years.

but good luck with that you fucking desperate bastard.




Submitted by apollo88 at 2012-07-09 19:12:11 EDT (#)

our little girl.

lol.



Submitted by grÜeMaster emeritus and uberlord supreme at 2012-07-09 14:41:44 EDT (#)

yes indeedy!

Submitted by grÜeMaster emeritus and uberlord supreme at 2012-07-09 14:39:24 EDT (#)

lol and then someone posted a picture of thorny and his wife at the beach and they were endowed with, shall we say, skrap-tastic physiques.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-07-09 14:38:26 EDT (#)

scheisenheiffer's right - that whole Gonefiguring thing was pretty funny. Even won Grueberfest. Good times.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2012-07-09 14:37:59 EDT (#)

Are you the author of the book "Made in the U.S.A." ?????

Submitted by grÜeMaster emeritus and uberlord supreme at 2012-07-09 14:35:33 EDT (#)

and when thorny plagiarized his college roommate's poetry and got caught when the dude saw it and joined up just to call him a dickhole!

lol

Submitted by grÜeMaster emeritus and uberlord supreme at 2012-07-09 14:17:25 EDT (#)

you sound like a lovely couple and i sincerely apologize for questioning the veracity of your claims

good luck, and may god bless your union and that precious child. it's so sweet that she calls you daddy. cherish those moments, my brother. they are what makes life worthwhile.

but remember when skrappy created that fake retarded dude and kept it up for three years? talking about his life, his marriage, his kids, and his struggle to recover from his head injury? goddamn that was hilarious. and then when he was caught, he said it was a social science experiment and he was planning to publish his findings.

buahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha fuck that was great!

Submitted by ridiculous at 2012-07-09 13:32:57 EDT (#)

I just told her to react as she will... and made her promise to never post a picture of our little girl. Beyond that... well, it's all of our bowl of shit to wrestle around in, isn't it?

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2012-07-09 12:09:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by Bubba2341 at 2012-07-07 17:04:47 CDT (#)
Rating: 2

Congrats.

Fuck Whysenheimer.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-07-09 11:00:49 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Ya gotta love alters.

Submitted by F.J.Bell at 2012-07-09 06:45:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Total gaybob.

Fake girlfriend.

Vampire sex.

Submitted by orphelia at 2012-07-08 17:33:37 EDT (#)

The drama isn't in that she is real (or not, whatever) it's that they choose THIS as a platform to share.
I find that weird.

Just same I do silvr and his missus. No matter what is said the person in the couple joining second looks creepy and possessive and it's just all a lil I dunno - if I wanna let y loved one read stuff I show it him I don't need him to see it torn to shreds by a bunch of sociopaths.

also I am a lil in love with whysen.

I also find it strange you included so much - what I consider personal detail - knowing this place is what it is.


Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2012-07-08 16:50:06 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Two things...who's got the bigger tits? And does your daughter's cunt look like an upside down McDonald's arch?

I'm with whysenheimer on this one. If you're going to an alter, at least don't use it to win at uber popularity, which by the way, is the equivalent to claiming the biggest booger ever.

I hope I'm wrong, because, well, because I actually like Ridic. There, I said it.
Go ahead... get it out.

Done?

FFS Control yourself, you ass!

Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-07-08 12:15:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Congrats Ridic and Charlotte and best wishes to the lucky little girl who has a new Daddy. May you all live Happily Ever After!

Submitted by ridiculous at 2012-07-08 12:06:29 EDT (#)

I let her reply before I told her not to feed the Trolls, have fun, Simon. ;)

Submitted by grÜeMaster emeritus and uberlord supreme at 2012-07-08 11:59:54 EDT (#)

lol

Submitted by redskieslookfake at 2012-07-08 09:03:25 EDT (#)

Shenanigans

Submitted by Charlotte at 2012-07-08 06:39:42 EDT (#)

To be honest Whysenheimer, this seems to be a common trend with you. I have been here for five minutes and to look at the threads here it seems to me more than interesting that every rating you give is a -2.
i am afraid that I am very real and I'm sorry you cannot recognize happiness or for that matter on your last post you seem to have a problem with recognizing emotion at all.

Is it to be that this is how I know of you?

Thank you for the congrats of course.. but I think the less you comment about people's personal problems the better, it only serves to tell us how little you have in your own life to A) remember these things B) to comment on these things C) to find it in yourself to turn everything into a poisonous jib.

Anyways.. have fun.

Submitted by ridiculous at 2012-07-08 06:37:17 EDT (#)

Yup, I'm still here at present but hopefully not much longer, turn of events we're calling fate. It looks like my work is drying up but we don't want to be apart anyway so fuck it, you know? And yes I do still owe copious quantities of alcomohol, you'll get them...

IF YOU BRING THE FUCKING BOAT 'ROUND AT TWO!

Submitted by grÜeMaster emeritus and uberlord supreme at 2012-07-07 19:06:08 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

this reminds me of the time skrappy invented a retarded alter ego to bump up his ratings in uber writing contests
he made up a whole life story and kept that shit up for three years, posting about his life and job and head injury lol
or when bubba pretended his wife was in a coma to get sympathy but fucked up the medical terminology in the very first fake post, or when bubba's "granddaughter" joined and sounded exactly like him
buahahahahahahahaha or when mccallum used alters to cheat in ubermadness and shill his self published book
or when thorny posted a poem that was written by his old fraternity brother and the guy joined just to tell him off
goddamn that's some funny shit HEY CONGRATS YOU TWO

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2012-07-07 18:52:54 EDT (#)

They're buzz words and so you repeat them to me? Nice move...

So does this mean your monkey-ass is finally dumping Africa? You still owe me a beer one day when you're on the East Coast.

Submitted by ridiculous at 2012-07-07 18:21:34 EDT (#)

Buzz words Silvr.

Lied
Omitted
For a reason, you shitty cock.

Bring the boat to the dock around two, there's a good lad.

Submitted by Bubba2341 at 2012-07-07 18:04:47 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Congrats.

Fuck Whysenheimer.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2012-07-07 18:02:02 EDT (#)

Fine. Be that way. I was just trying to be nice and give her all the warnings about you that I'm sure you either lied about or omitted completely.

Don't even THINK about asking me to help you bury this one. You can find someone else with a boat and no conscience.

I'm just kidding, Charlotte. He never tried to marry the others so I'm sure this time is different.

Submitted by grÜeMaster emeritus and uberlord supreme at 2012-07-07 14:52:43 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

lol nice imaginary gf

Submitted by ridiculous at 2012-07-07 14:49:28 EDT (#)

Oh dear god! How in the monkey fuck did you JUST SO HAPPEN to walk in and start talking to motherfucking Silvr J motherfucking Wolf?

BACK OFF MOTHERFUCKER!

Submitted by Charlotte at 2012-07-07 14:31:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Slightly suspicious now..

Why have I heard the goat thing before?

Thank you SilvrWolf I have heard many a good tale of the folks on this site. In a way I hope to experience it but I am sure you can understand I say that with the greatest of nerves.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2012-07-07 13:58:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

So, she's willing to let you touch her and stuff? And you didn't have to wear the Antonio Banderas mask? AND she has no problem with your collection of human skulls? I find these circumstances to be highly suspicious.

Congratulations, man! Wishes of many years of happiness for you.

Fair warning, Charlotte: we're TWICE as horrible as he told you we are. Welcome to Ubersite.

P.S.: Ridic has an unhealthy obsession with goats. No matter how much he begs, DO NOT wear horns for him. You'll regret it.

Submitted by Poots at 2012-07-07 12:56:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I used to play masquerade and 4th, 3rd and 1st edition. Also 3.5 a bit. Some star wars. A bit of the old savage worlds. Xenophobe as much as possible.

I can smell you.

Submitted by Doodles at 2012-07-07 12:55:13 EDT (#)

Submitted by Charlotte at 2012-07-07 12:17:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

sooo... i joined without telling you.. thought it could be a giggle though of course i expect everyone to have some fun slating my work *narrows her eyes at the onlookers*

LOVE YOU!!

(Ok guys you can stop throwing up now.. XD )
--
Giggles, actions separated by asterisks and emoticons? This probably will not end well.

Congrats and stuff I guess.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-07-07 12:45:58 EDT (#)

Oh, dear. Glad you're out of Africa. Shit's gonna happen there.

Post something you slag.

Submitted by orphelia at 2012-07-07 12:24:32 EDT (#)

Post something!!!!!!

*pukes*

;)

Submitted by Charlotte at 2012-07-07 12:17:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

sooo... i joined without telling you.. thought it could be a giggle though of course i expect everyone to have some fun slating my work *narrows her eyes at the onlookers*

LOVE YOU!!

(Ok guys you can stop throwing up now.. XD )

Submitted by orphelia at 2012-07-07 12:00:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by orphelia at 2012-07-07 11:59:50 EDT (#)

Awwwww that's lovely news. :) look after them.

Submitted by simple.catalyst at 2012-07-07 11:43:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Ducky at 2012-07-07 11:33:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

If it makes you happy it is the best sort of lameness ever.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-07-07 11:01:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

It was worth showing up this morning to see this! Way to go buddy.

Many Blessings


Marge: It was a beautiful wedding. I've never seen Selma happier.

Homer: That reminds me -- Troy said something interesting last night
at the bar. Apparently he doesn't really love Selma and the
marriage is just a sham to help his career.

A Fish Called Selma