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Tyrannosaurus Sex: Science Resolves One of Life's Most Important Questions

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-07-13 21:31:02 EDT
Rating: 0.0 on 10 ratings (16 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

How did dinosaurs get busy? It's a burning question that none of the first three Jurassic Park flicks was able to answer for us. But scientists have been discussing the ins and outs of dino doinking for quite some time now, and they finally seem to be agreeing on how it got done.

Before we get to how exactly dinosaurs mated, it's probably worth asking why there's any confusion in the first place. Well, for one thing, most dinosaurs were really big and really heavy. For another, many of them had spikes and bone plates and other prickly parts that could have made sex a little ... difficult. Obviously they mated, but it's taken scientists a while to settle on a method that would have allowed for all that weight and all those uncomfortable parts at the same time.

The answer is actually pretty simple. Male dinosaurs mounted female dinosaurs from behind. Like modern birds and reptiles, dinosaurs had a single orifice for both reproduction and waste disposal, called a cloaca. To wittol, they simply need to press the openings together for a "cloacal kiss," though it's been noted that some male dinosaurs possibly did have penises to help them along (it's even been suggested that male tyrannosaurs packed a member as big as 12 feet in length).

The view that dinosaurs mated successfully despite their size, armor and tails through front-to-back intercourse was popularized by English paleontologist Beverly Halstead, who wrote this description in Omni magazine back in 1988.

"All dinosaurs used the same basic position to wittol. Mounting from the rear, he put his forelimbs on her shoulders, lifting one hind limb across her back and twisting his tail under hers to align the cloaca."

Halstead died in 1991, but other paleontologists have since taken up his view on the subject.

"I don't think there's much doubt about that," said Gregory M. Erickson, an evolutionary biologist at Florida State University. "It must have been a hell of a thing to see."

Check out an artist's rendering of said "hell of a thing" below (slightly NSFW), and ponder the implication it'll have on future big-budget dinosaur movies.

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Submitted by Yes at 2012-07-18 15:44:22 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by simple.catalyst at 2012-07-17 02:19:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

yesh.

Submitted by Bestmate at 2012-07-14 17:33:25 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Oh gee, just brilliant.

Submitted by Doodles at 2012-07-14 14:19:53 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

I take it back. Roadsong isn't the worst thing about this place; you are.

Submitted by Ducky at 2012-07-14 11:55:52 EDT (#)

The dinosaur in the first picture has Robin Williams back hair.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-07-14 10:22:02 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

If all we have to do is plagiarize some other website for a Uber post, Shlongy might even consider doing a post.

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-07-14 08:30:10 EDT (#)

I don't read Cracked, so I wouldn't know. I got it by following a trail of links that started at a pro wrestling/MMA blog I like and ended at one of those 'LOL Internet stuff!' type websites.

If it is from Cracked, you should probably read it there. They're paid to appeal to a broad audience, so they're probably funnier than I am, who's not paid and only has to amuse himself.

Submitted by MANICMOTHER at 2012-07-14 07:47:17 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

No Shlongy, not Wikipedia, it's Cracked.com. Yesterday as a matter of fact.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-07-13 22:45:55 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

What the fuck is this? Wikipedia?

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2012-07-13 22:12:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

filenames

Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-07-13 21:54:02 EDT (#)

Dyno=dino.

I'm a we bit sauced.
~~~
Bar B Que sauced? prolly not

Submitted by Poots at 2012-07-13 21:45:14 EDT (#)

Dyno=dino.

I'm a we bit sauced.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-07-13 21:45:10 EDT (#)

So if we don't all vote the same way, we'll be deadlocked and have to
be sequestered in the Springfield Palace Hotel ...

Submitted by Poots at 2012-07-13 21:43:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

The pictures were great, I'll give you that, but the written content was....dryasaurus....boring 747...I could only think of one dinosaur word changey thing.


I couldn't get through it man. Just scrolled to the pictures.

Dyno Orgies?

pterodactyls and sea dwelling creatures surely mated differently.

All right.

I'm going to say this but not mean it.

Next time stick it up your mothers dick hole?

Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-07-13 21:37:54 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

AUTO +1 dino doinking

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-07-13 21:31:29 EDT (#)

Source: The Internet


Bart: So, like sometimes you can do stuff that you think is pretty bad
so other kids will like you better?

Homer: You're not talking about killing anyone, are you?

The Telltale Head