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FRESH DEMFOOLERY: ARE YOU COMPLETELY UNSURPRISED BY IT?
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Adventures In Real Time Posting

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-07-19 10:50:46 EDT
Rating: -0.12 on 10 ratings (53 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

I've just finished a very good breakfast - eggs, bacon, hashbrowns, toast and pancakes - and I'm currently sitting outside of a coffee shop enjoying a cigar and a cup of coffee. Even though I'm no longer in college, I figure I'm still allowed to experiment. So here we go...real time posting because I'm sure y'all are dying to read every stray thought that pops into my dome.


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Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-07-20 19:52:36 EDT (#)

You came late to the party didn't you? That was the first review I got. I would fuck off to twitter, but my genius is incapable of being contained within a mere 140 characters. I need room to breathe, man...you can't put me in a box.

Submitted by simple.catalyst at 2012-07-20 18:07:37 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

go get a twitter.

Submitted by orphelia at 2012-07-20 01:57:02 EDT (#)

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-07-19 19:42:40 EDT (#)

Good thing you're not Irish then, isn't it?
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Sweet potatoes are ok.

Submitted by (Brotherbabycakes) at 2012-07-19 23:22:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Bacon is bad for you...

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-07-19 19:42:40 EDT (#)

Good thing you're not Irish then, isn't it?

Submitted by orphelia at 2012-07-19 17:19:07 EDT (#)

I understand what a hash brown is but when I tried one it was greasy and bland. I am not keen on rostis either. I don't really like potatoes.


Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-07-19 15:58:52 EDT (#)

Either a Waffle House or a Chik-Fil-A, either one would make me Scrooge McDuck money up here. Those chicken sandwiches are so good, you put one on the top of your head, your tongue will beat your brains out trying to get to it.

Submitted by no1hasdis at 2012-07-19 15:56:32 EDT (#)

Everyone up here puts ketchup on their hashbrowns. And their breakfast sausage. Must be a Canadian thing.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-07-19 15:17:28 EDT (#)

I cant imagine they would cost alot to open one. Beyond any franchise fees.
no fancy decorations, and a low food cost.

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-07-19 14:56:00 EDT (#)

Eating at Waffle House is one of the many things I miss about living in Dixie. I should open one here in MN, I'd be rich.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-07-19 14:33:18 EDT (#)

expert opinion right here.
http://www.wafflehouse.com/images/stories/Menu1.jpg

notice the center of the menu, thats how you do it people

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-07-19 14:32:56 EDT (#)

You don't put ketchup on hashbrowns, what's wrong with you? You know who puts ketchup on things? Communists and people who don't love Jesus.

Submitted by no1hasdis at 2012-07-19 14:23:26 EDT (#)

No, that is patently wrong. You put your eggs onto your toast, apply Tabasco, then break the yolks and sop it up with the toast. The hashbrowns should never touch the eggs, and should be enjoyed with a healthy topping of ketchup.

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-07-19 14:19:38 EDT (#)

Submitted by Wildman at 2012-07-19 13:04:12: I'll expect a follow-up post with some dialogue and a picture of a hot steamy dump.
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Not being a German fetish photographer, I'm not generally in the habit of taking picures of my leavings. Besides, I wouldn't want to be accused of gimmick infringement

Submitted by orphelia at 2012-07-19 13:08:54: Someone care to explain the appeal of hash browns?
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Once you break the yolks on your eggs, you mix them around with the hashbrowns and throw some Tabasco sauce on them. If you're lucky enough to have biscuits and gravy too, you can slop 'em around in the left-over gravy when you're done with the biscuits.




Submitted by no1hasdis at 2012-07-19 14:18:31 EDT (#)

They're potatoes. And they're fried. And covered with salt and ketchup. That's the appeal, what's there to explain?

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-07-19 14:17:37 EDT (#)

less gruesome then black pudding?

Submitted by orphelia at 2012-07-19 14:08:54 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Someone care to explain the appeal of hash browns?

Submitted by Professional_Peon at 2012-07-19 13:16:45 EDT (#)

*blushes*

I'm a registered sex pretender.

*runs away*

Submitted by Bubs at 2012-07-19 13:14:01 EDT (#)

your self deprecation ain't foolin' no-one, sico.

Submitted by grÜeMaster emeritus and uberlord supreme at 2012-07-19 13:05:14 EDT (#)

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2012-07-19 12:58:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Facebook deleted my account because I'm a registered sex offender.




UberTranslator®

Submitted by Professional_Peon at 2012-07-19 13:03:33 EDT (#)


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Submitted by Skrappy Found a Homeless Family Living in his Cloaca at 2012-07-19 12:55:40 EDT (#)


Submitted by DudeI'mRETARDED at 2012-07-19 12:40:03 EDT (#)

i don't like girls unless they have huge cocks.




UberTranslator®
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HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2012-07-19 12:58:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Normally I disprove of this type of thing. This and baby pictures led me to quit facebook.

Submitted by grÜeMaster emeritus and uberlord supreme at 2012-07-19 12:55:40 EDT (#)

Submitted by DudeI'mRETARDED at 2012-07-19 12:40:03 EDT (#)

i don't like girls unless they have huge cocks.




UberTranslator®

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2012-07-19 12:40:03 EDT (#)

i don't think girls are whores, i just like boobs.

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-07-19 12:39:57 EDT (#)

Y'all are going to have discuss amongst yourselves now, as I am off to the butcher shop and the used book store. It is a heady responsibility, but one I am assured you are equal to.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-07-19 12:34:37 EDT (#)

i'm a total whore :-(

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-07-19 12:32:12 EDT (#)

I can see that...Ubersite does seem significantly less funny that it was my first go round. As for being a whore...we're all whores for something, although personally I prefer the term 'mercenary' if only because you rarely see it used and I like archaic words.

Submitted by Professional_Peon at 2012-07-19 12:22:31 EDT (#)

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-07-19 12:17:44 EDT (#)


Maybe I should throw up a topless pic, then and assure myself of entry into the Uber Hall of Fame.
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I tried that with humor and now they just think I'm a whore.... either that or all the guys on here think all the girls are whores.... or perhaps they think the words girls and whores have the same definition. Either way my Aspergers is showing

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-07-19 12:17:44 EDT (#)

Maybe I should throw up a topless pic, then and assure myself of entry into the Uber Hall of Fame.

Submitted by Professional_Peon at 2012-07-19 12:16:00 EDT (#)

where is kaos?.... is he perez hilton????!!! OMG DO I KNOW A FAMOUS PERSON!

Submitted by Bubs at 2012-07-19 12:12:58 EDT (#)

yeppppppppp buddy. you should like totally like do that. that's what kaos did and look where he is now.

Submitted by Professional_Peon at 2012-07-19 12:12:09 EDT (#)

Serious writers forum my butt, anything serious I write only gets like 5 reviews... unless there is no content but I tossed in some cleave-whorage and the post gets most heated.


Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-07-19 12:08:26 EDT (#)

If that's the case, maybe I could donate them the post I wrote about how I was a Serious Writer Seriously Writing about Serious Things.

Submitted by Bubs at 2012-07-19 12:06:07 EDT (#)

lol below

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-07-19 12:05:22 EDT (#)

pulsehead is a serious writers forum

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-07-19 12:05:18 EDT (#)

Why would I go to pulsehead when I've already put barely any effort into entertaining y'all?

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-07-19 12:02:07 EDT (#)

I thought goth was dead until about five minutes ago. You know, if you want attention, it'd probably be easier and cheaper to hang a sign around your neck that said "PAY ATTENTION TO ME! LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!" If nothing else, it'd probably cut down on your morning prep time.

Submitted by Bubs at 2012-07-19 12:00:04 EDT (#)

they live for these kind of posts over at pulsehead. help 'em out, bud.

Submitted by Professional_Peon at 2012-07-19 11:54:58 EDT (#)

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-07-19 11:32:50 EDT (#)


I am not black, but instead exceedingly redneck-ish looking and am in fact wearing a Larry the Cable Guy style sleeveless work shirt and a cowboy hat as I type these words.
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Good, the more cornfed you look the more it confuses people.

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-07-19 11:42:02 EDT (#)

The coffe shop I'm at just switched from Johnny Cash to some godawful Eurotrash techno music, of which I do not approve. It's just strengthened an already present opinion that if it weren't for computers, Europeans would have no way to make music.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-07-19 11:34:57 EDT (#)

I pictured Nugent just now

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-07-19 11:32:50 EDT (#)

I am not black, but instead exceedingly redneck-ish looking and am in fact wearing a Larry the Cable Guy style sleeveless work shirt and a cowboy hat as I type these words.

Submitted by Professional_Peon at 2012-07-19 11:27:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-07-19 11:14:19 EDT (#)
Rating: -2


Even though I'm outside, people still give me dirty looks for smoking. I'm going to start my own Special Snowflake tumblr and complain about how society is oppressing me. I might even make up new words to describe myself and the exact level of oppression I'm experiencing.
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Just stare at them and then scream WHAT LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN A BLACK GUY BEFORE???

Please note this only applies if you are in fact... not black.

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-07-19 11:25:54 EDT (#)

The Sierra Club just dropped off a group of idealists to try and get people to donate to the environment. Regardless of whatever group is shilling their cause on the street corners, they always seem to hire pretty girls for this particular facet of their operation. I'm not complaining, mind you. If I'm going to be hit up for a donation, I'd much rather it be a pretty co-ed than some dredlocked doofus who's almost managed to grow half a beard.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-07-19 11:20:32 EDT (#)

there WAS bacon !!!

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-07-19 11:20:04 EDT (#)

OMG it's like I'm there...

*looks for bus to jump under*

WAIT, was there bacon?

Submitted by Average_Dan at 2012-07-19 11:17:15 EDT (#)
Rating: -1

I've definitely seen better. It pains me to do it, but -1, get hurt

Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-07-19 11:14:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

cigars & sausage fingers

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-07-19 11:14:19 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Even though I'm outside, people still give me dirty looks for smoking. I'm going to start my own Special Snowflake tumblr and complain about how society is oppressing me. I might even make up new words to describe myself and the exact level of oppression I'm experiencing.

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-07-19 11:05:27 EDT (#)

There is a woman waiting for the bus across the street who is amazingly fat. She's taking up a good 3/4's of the bench by herself and it's not that small a bench. I think if I ever got that fat, the only thing I'd put in my mouth at that point would be a gun.

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-07-19 10:57:35 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

I would fuck off to twitter, but my genius is incapable of being contained within a mere 140 characters. I need room to breathe, man...you can't put me in a box.

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-07-19 10:53:41 EDT (#)

This dude just walked by wearing capris. He's either blind, or he doesn't own a mirror...either way I feel sorry for him.

Submitted by redskieslookfake at 2012-07-19 10:51:18 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

www.fuckofftotwitter.com


You know something, folks, as ridiculous as this sounds, I would rather
feel the sweet breath of my beautiful wife on the back of my neck as I
sleep than stuff dollar bills into some stranger's G-string.

-- Homer Simpson
Homer's Night Out