login / register
Whines about deflections, suddenly brings up two groups not being discussed.
Welcome to Ubersite!


Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-07-25 16:40:51 EDT
Rating: 2.0 on 14 ratings (22 reviews) (V)


“There is no hope. We are near. Death is...” 

And again static filled the recording.

Hours later, the generals and scientists and politicians, those few who knew of the message, were gathered around a table in the laboratory complex conference room. Dr. Armstrong stood near the head of the table and tried to explain what they knew and what could reasonably be suspected based on the signals they'd been receiving in the form of an old woman's voice via the Ultraviolet Laser Decoder. “We are near. Death is coming for you. There is no hope.” The same message, repeated periodically. It appeared to be emanating from an undetermined point almost perpendicular to the Plane of the Ecliptic, the point was approaching the solar system unbelievably quickly, and whatever it was that was sending the message would arrive in the vicinity of the Earth in about 2 weeks.

One of the military types, in what Dr. Armstrong considered to be a rare flash of scientific insight, asked, “Why is the message in English?” In the corner of the room, the assistant Dr. Rhodes, stood nervously watching.

“As you know,” Dr. Armstrong said, “we've been receiving this message via the UVLD for about three days now, so while we may be able to determine where it's coming from we have not yet determined why it's being sent or who's sending it. Since it is in English, it's probably reasonable to assume that we are the intended recipient. But since it's not being sent in any other languages as far as we can tell, I must raise he possibility that it's not really coming from outside our solar system at all, but is somehow being made to appear so by someone on Earth or nearby.”

“Who has the capability to pull that off? It seems as though it would be very difficult.”

“It would indeed. Further, it would require that the sender have knowledge of the UVLE and UVLD devices, as that's how the message was received. This is new technology, invented in this lab by myself and Dr. Rhodes only a short time ago. I cannot see how it could have been subverted so quickly. But the possibility nonetheless exists, and I am more likely to believe that to be the case than to believe that some malevolent space beings are descending on Earth to destroy it and have kindly provided a warning of their intent.”

Dr. Rhodes advanced to the table, shouting. “How can you not see what this is? We've been broadcasting English into space for decades! Of course the warning is in...”

“Restrain yourself, Rhodes!” Dr. Armstrong commanded. “The Russians and the Chinese have been doing the same thing for about as long. Why none of those languages then? The first transmission to leave this planet was Marconi's and it was just telegraph code. Why not Morse? No, this is intended for us to hear, specifically.”

Rhodes said, “How do we know it isn't being sent to the Russians and Chinese and everyone else? There are breaks in the transmission. Maybe they're sending it to them then!”

Armstrong spoke to the gathered group. “Rhodes has a point. How can we - tactfully - ask the Russians and Chinese of they've been getting messages of doom from space?”

The generals and the politicians and the scientists looked around at each other, considering both the implications of asking the question and those of the possible answers

Visible across the hall through the glass wall of the conference room, the UVLD lab was empty. No one heard the message repeated yet again.



Submitted by Anglophile at 2012-09-26 14:49:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Ancient oscilloscope.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-09-26 12:42:29 EDT (#)

Think of what a wonderful gif. this image would make! The blue line would dance ...

Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-09-26 12:38:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

still good :)

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-07-27 08:24:43 EDT (#)

I had better start looking now then, I guess...

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-07-26 22:27:22 EDT (#)

Shlongy -

1) http://www.gopconvention2012.com/ starts Monday 8/27 It'll start getting ridiculous hotel-wise around Wednesday the 22nd and traffic-wise right when you show up.

B) http://www.dailypaul.com/225000/paul-festival-tampa-fl-aug24-26 Smaller, but Libertarians like hotels too.

Submitted by Yozz at 2012-07-26 16:31:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Fuck Cancer.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-07-26 15:11:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-07-26 14:58:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Of course I DON'T have hotel reservations as I wait until the last minute to do pretty much everything.

Why is it gonna be "busy" then, of all weekends?

Submitted by jack11058 at 2012-07-26 12:29:25 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2012-07-26 10:41:07 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

its probably Scruggs from beyond the grave trying to communicate with everyone about how many dudes he's porked

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-07-26 10:27:31 EDT (#)

You make a valid point there, He-Who-Falls-Behind-The-Rows.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-07-26 10:10:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

3 posts of build up, make something happppppppen.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-07-26 09:22:20 EDT (#)

I have a few ideas on how the story might progress, and I'm going to try hard to avoid making it any of 25+ 1950's red-threat-centric alien movies or any of 5+ morality-play-centric remakes of same. So, MM, I will do my best to help you be wrong.

Submitted by MANICMOTHER at 2012-07-26 08:54:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I think I know how this story is going to play out. I'm interested to find out if I'm right. More please.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-07-26 08:03:52 EDT (#)

Yeah, A_D, I'm an idiot and forgot to link the first two installments. Remedied thus:

Frequency (Part 1) https://www.ubersite.com/m/126250
Wavelength (Part 2) https://www.ubersite.com/m/126295

It was expected that my retarded brother whysenheimer might not be the first one to review the post, but I knew I could count on him to show up and get his particular viscosity of stupid on everything. He cannot resist me. In fact, he'll probably run off and excrete unfunny on those first two parts straight away.

Also: Hope you have your hotel reservations, Shlongy. Gonna be busy then.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-07-26 00:57:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

“How can you not see what this is? We've been broadcasting English into space for decades! Of course the warning is in...”
Hawking says we should not keep trying to make contact because we won't like what happens to us if they show up...

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2012-07-25 23:08:52 EDT (#)

Submitted by Skrappy Found a Homeless Family Living in his Cloaca at 2012-07-25 19:35:10 CDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-07-25 18:25:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I don't know what the fuck this post is about

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-07-25 16:40:45 EDT (#)

my retarded brother arriving in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

Nicely done whysenheimer - you actually got an audible laugh out of me for that one.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2012-07-25 22:31:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

This is actually the third installment, Average_Dan. I was supposed to take over this series, but I'm so incredibly uninspired these days and I never came through.

Nice job, skrap.

Submitted by Average_Dan at 2012-07-25 22:03:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Good start, where are we going with this?

Submitted by Ducky at 2012-07-25 19:56:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-07-25 18:25:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I don't know what the fuck this post is about but we will be in Tampa August 24 and 25 for you know what.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-07-25 16:40:45 EDT (#)

Got tired of waiting for Silvr. Feel free to take it from here.

Also: my retarded brother arriving in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

A boy without mischief is like a bowling ball without a liquid center.

-- Homer Simpson
Lisa the Greek