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Three

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-07-30 19:02:33 EDT
Rating: -0.7 on 15 ratings (40 reviews) (Review this item) (V)


Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold



Three-Candles.jpg
Three-Candles.jpg


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Submitted by orphelia at 2012-08-01 15:20:11 EDT (#)

OMG yes flash!! ah ahhhhh.
I think the whole film was written, made and produced because one guy thought the fight scene would be funny.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-08-01 15:11:12 EDT (#)

It was funnier than I though it would be. Plus Flash Gordon!
what happens tomorrow?

Submitted by orphelia at 2012-08-01 15:08:33 EDT (#)

ooooh i just watched ted btw it was ok ish, I quite fancied the bear.

Submitted by orphelia at 2012-08-01 15:07:44 EDT (#)

nuffin'. just eating fake oreos and waiting for tomorrow.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-08-01 14:45:03 EDT (#)

not much? you?

Submitted by orphelia at 2012-08-01 14:39:13 EDT (#)

sup

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-07-31 19:39:32 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

oathmeal sighting.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-07-31 17:34:29 EDT (#)

Why am I a magnet for creepers?!
~~~~~
There is a lot of creeping going around?

https://ubersite.com/m/124479

Submitted by OathMeal at 2012-07-31 16:58:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

The cavalcade of losers sucking each other off in here is equal parts sad and embarrassing.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-07-31 16:34:49 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

I laughed at the pancake joke, too...But then again, I laugh at ALL pancake jokes.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2012-07-31 16:32:08 EDT (#)

While I still like the fat joke on Skrap's behalf, can we get back to the meat of the matter, which is Fallen's desperate attempt to convey love to someone who is far away, likely another uber member? Fallen, of course we all assume that you're wife-less and desperate for some Orphelia, although, god only knows why you would crave a cloud shaped marshmallow like that. I'm guessing you posted this when you were intoxicated, which judging by the time posted would be minutes after happy hour ended. For years you held a stature as being well adjusted and somewhat successful but now I'm a full on believer that you live in a scaly walled rat trap in Brooklyn, working the bar scene unsucessfully, so much so that your pining for a person not even interested in you.

I'll pay you $5 to camwhore.

Submitted by grÜeMaster emeritus and uberlord supreme at 2012-07-31 16:16:54 EDT (#)

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-07-31 12:37:18 EDT (#)

OK, I'll admit I smiled a little at that one. I'm still a boring fat joke.




finally something on which we can agree!

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-07-31 16:00:27 EDT (#)

"stretching" joke in 5... 4... 3...

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-07-31 15:59:39 EDT (#)

Submitted by Skrappy Found a Family Living in his Cloaca That Weighs Less Than His Wife at 2012-07-31 15:43:40 EDT (#)

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-07-31 12:37:18 EDT (#)

5'2" and 122 this morning




skrappy's talking about his stack of pancakes
-----
OK, I'll admit I smiled a little at that one. It's still a boring fat joke, but if that's the extent of your wit I'm glad to see you're at least stretching it out a bit.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-07-31 15:49:39 EDT (#)

I don't make typos

Submitted by grÜeMaster emeritus and uberlord supreme at 2012-07-31 15:43:40 EDT (#)

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-07-31 12:37:18 EDT (#)

5'2" and 122 this morning




skrappy's talking about his stack of pancakes

Submitted by orphelia at 2012-07-31 15:04:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

typo bAld

Submitted by orphelia at 2012-07-31 15:04:01 EDT (#)

you did not delete your account at all sage the info you inputted is still very much under their control :(

what the hell happened here anyway? :)

Submitted by Sage at 2012-07-31 13:32:18 EDT (#)

In other news, I deleted my FB account today while in the drive thru line at Sbux. I feel mighty victorious.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-07-31 13:30:52 EDT (#)

Shlongy made me LOL. Actually all of you are cheering me up, which is weird.

All this talk about guns/IED's/security cameras makes me nervous. Why am I a magnet for creepers?! Seriously this is the 3rd creepy neighbor incident of my life. Someone make it stop!!

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-07-31 13:08:14 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Wow. This was really, really gay.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-07-31 12:37:18 EDT (#)

5'2" and 122 this morning, Soco. Sico, I meant. Soz.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2012-07-31 12:04:35 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

5'2" and 250lbs+ skrap?

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-07-31 12:02:56 EDT (#)

MLW is 5'2 and she has a 20GA Mossberg Defender for home protection. That's why I recommended it. They don't weigh much and they don't kick hard, but properly deployed they will reduce your creeper's threat level to zero.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2012-07-31 12:02:06 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Sorry, forgot to tell fallen again how dumb this post is! Pretty sad, pathetic, etc. I hope your e-date got the message tho.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2012-07-31 12:01:23 EDT (#)

Sage, screw pistols and shotguns...make an IED and set that sucker up for your neighbor to find next time he lifts the hatch. Are we ruling out a crazy lesbian neighbor? Good luck with everything else, but just be warned that you are approximately 5 years away from being a crazy cat/dog lady.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2012-07-31 11:59:45 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Fallen, why did you delete my comment? You are such a pussy nowadays.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-07-31 11:17:09 EDT (#)

Made me LOL, below, but I'm not shooting for sport, here.

Thinking about it now, all 5'2" of me "cocking a shotgun" would be pretty hilar.

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2012-07-31 11:04:54 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Screw shotguns, crossbows owners get what they shoot because they earned it.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-07-31 10:59:51 EDT (#)

Yes, I do have a semi-creepy neighbor, but I could never tell if he's creepy or just a bitter old man, as he seldom makes eye-contact or says hello. And he is on my floor. He's middle-aged, balding, mid-40s, short, (no offense if this description matches anyone reading lol) but I always liked him because he minded his own business and kept to himself. I hope he's not a creeper but you never know.

I guess I just doubt someone would be up there servicing the attic without them having to enter into my (or my neighbor's) apt, and if they come in at all, they always leave a note.

Can you really picture ME buying a shotgun? I'd rather take a class and learn how to shoot a little hand gun.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-07-31 10:54:26 EDT (#)

Or ghosts, could always be ghosts.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-07-31 10:44:10 EDT (#)

Pistols are a bad idea for home defense, unless you've a) had a lot of training and b) don't have neighbors. Pump-action shotguns are simpler, more reliable, and you get the sound that every home invader fears more than any other: the racking of a shotgun round into the chamber. Shotgun projectiles (except slugs) don't penetrate double drywall, so people in other rooms are safe. You don't have to be as accurate with your aim (especially if you progressive-load your magazine with a couple #0, then a couple #4, then a couple #6 shells) either. Forget the Kel-Tec and get a Mossberg 500 Defender. Do get the camera, though. Can't hurt.

Do you have any neighbors on your floor of the building that are creepy or have teenage kids (which are of course inherently creepy)? Easiest way into the attic is from another apartment just like yours.

All that said, ask to see the maintenance records for your building. It may be as simple as your apartment is being used for access to the attic by service people.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-07-31 10:11:22 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Skrap...you sound like my Dad with the security cameras and guns. Except he recommended I get a Kel Tec PF9. ;)

But to clarify, over the past year + that I've been living there, every so often (maybe once a month) I've noticed the crawlspace "door" (really just a piece of wood that covers the crawlspace entrance) is cracked open, and insulation from the attic has fallen onto my clothing, shelves, and floor.

I always assumed it was the wind or an anmial, until this weekend when I noticed a TON of insulation on the floor and shelves, yet the entrance to the crawlspace hadn't remained open. Surely if it was an animal, it wouldn't have closed the crawlspace entrance.

So I called the po-lice who went into the attic, and the officer said not only was he able to stand upright and walk around, but that he could see clear to the other side of the building. Didn't notice any footprints, but still recommended I get a latch of sorts to seal it.

I informed my landlord of the sitch and they're planning on sealing it "sometime this week". Meanwhile, I think I may have slept 3 hours total last night. I feel like a fucking zombie, not to mention it's official - I am single - and although I'm positive it's the right decision, it's still sad to let go after 2.5 years. Actually, our 2.5 year anniversary would've been on the 10th.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-07-31 07:56:37 EDT (#)

Sage: Put this http://www.x10.com/promotions/airsight_sd_h624_wireless_ip_camera.html in the closet; you can record the images on a chip in the camera and/or your computer, and monitor it via WiFi from anywhere. If what you suspect is true, give a copy of the recording to the police. Keep a copy for yourself, for the lawsuit against the apartment complex owners and management. Also, obtain and learn to safely use a home defense shotgun (if you don't have one). Active safety is more effective than passive safety, and as they say: when seconds count the police are just minutes away.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-07-31 02:12:20 EDT (#)

I found out that someone has likely been coming into my apt via the attic crawl space in my closet.
~~~
Oh Gal! This is way creepy and I think you should bail tha fuk outta that place till the attic is checked out and then get a roomie.

NO TELLIN what is in the attic and I am worried about you. You have a pistol?

*lights candle* for the dog, attic and BF prob




Submitted by Sage at 2012-07-31 01:11:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Am I the only one who now has Britney Spears "Three" in her head?

Typical of you, FALLEN.

Also, I can't sleep. Not only is my pup getting spayed tomorrow, I am pretty sure my boyfriend and I are breaking up, and if that's not enough, I found out that someone has likely been coming into my apt via the attic crawl space in my closet. Ive had the joy of spending some time recently with the Henrico PD sorting it all out. I think I need to check into a hotel...this whole "not sleeping because I'm terrified of being raped in the middle of the night" thing is for the birds. Why I chose Über to hash this out is beyond me...probably so I could brag about how amazing my life is so all of you can be jealous.

Submitted by Mill8178 at 2012-07-30 22:55:58 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

File name

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-07-30 20:44:38 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Whatever you say, Yoda.

Submitted by pen_name at 2012-07-30 19:40:19 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Second

Submitted by grÜeMaster emeritus and uberlord supreme at 2012-07-30 19:13:58 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

first!


Homer: I'm just a big fool.

Karl: Oh no, you're not!

Homer: How do you know?

Karl: Because my mother taught me never to kiss a fool!

Simpson and Delilah