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Bret I don't mean to be harsh but you have no soul at all. Mechanical guitarwork. Yuck
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Reading Over Someone's Shoulder Can Be Dangerous To The Ego

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-08-07 08:45:46 EDT
Rating: 1.6 on 11 ratings (16 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Actual Conversation I Had Tonight At My Actual Place of Employment:

I'm typing a report on something that had happened earlier in the evening. Since I'm the only one who is not either on the phone or on YouTube, I attract a little bit of attention.

Me: Type type type.

Over The Shoulder Reader Guy: Hey, you misspelled that word there.

Me: Which word where?

OTSRG: That one there, <points> 'laptop.'

Me: (Checks spelling) No I didn't.

OTSRG: Yeah, you did. It's 'labtop', not 'laptop.'

Me: .... What?

OTSRG: Yeah, there should be a 'b' there, not a 'p.'

At this point I turn around and eyeball the other half of what is becoming an increasingly surreal conversation.

Me: ... Are you fucking with me?

OTSRG: (looks genuinely puzzled) No...why would it be called a 'laptop?'

Me: ... Because it's a little computer that you can put on your lap, and type stuff on...

OTSRG: ....

Me: You seriously thought it was called a 'labtop?' Why would it be called a 'labtop? How long have you thought this?

OTSRG: Shut up and finish your report. <leaves>

Now, because the other half of this conversation belongs to my boss, I refrained from mocking him until his head exploded the way I would have one of my co-workers, or one of my siblings. But still....damn.

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Submitted by grÜeMaster emeritus and uberlord supreme at 2012-08-08 18:50:05 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

what an interesting anecdote!

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2012-08-08 12:12:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

"Labtop" - wow

Refrain from mocking him? Oh no, good sir. It is your DUTY to mock him, just not openly. Now is the perfect time to subscribe his email addy to every laptop business on the web. You should leave newspaper ads lying around (especially one to keep on your desk), too - ANYTHING with the word "laptop" printed on it.

Submitted by FATMANTPK at 2012-08-08 11:38:40 EDT (#)

"my hand super glued to my V~8 can"

You are quite girthy...wait, what?

Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-08-07 23:14:18 EDT (#)

my hand super glued to my V~8 can
OMG & WTF! haaaaa

Submitted by Wisher at 2012-08-07 23:01:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

He must've been joking? ~~~Nearing end of 2ed night of house/baby~sitting two kids, just wanted to say I have new respect for moms. You must be superhuman, all of you! I've been painted with watercolors, had egg shampoos {fun the first time, no so fun the next while asleep, & my hand super glued to my V~8 can. Our field trip over to my house last evening to water my patio garden almost ended in a 911 call {hot peppers}. Hope you're all doing well~~~ love & xo, W

Submitted by Poots at 2012-08-07 22:59:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

should can it be?

I was told today by a coworker that another coworker who is down and out with some possible colon cancer that the doctors told the cancer patient she may just have a mask in her stomach or possibly the mask is in her intestines and that she may not even have cancer at all.

I didn't respond in any kind of particular way because I knew what she was talking about and wasn't particularly surprised by her stupid stupidity because she's a fucking stupid stupid ass.

The End.

P.s. she's like 60, the stupid stupid ass, and she should definitely know better. I try to think in a certain circle of logical rationality but I always remember that she's just a dumb ol' stupid ass.

Also, in case it isn't clear, she was thinking that a mask would be a mass. It is funny to think of the cancer lady going through Walmart during October and eating the fuck out of the Halloween masks and laughing at the kids who are disappointed because she a wicked ol bitch that lives off of the tears of upset children and then, wouldn't you know it, 8 months down the line she finds out that she hasn't entirely shit one of the masks out and in fact one was stuck in her belly causing her to have cancer like symptoms. Or not. Maybe that is not funny. Then again it probably is. Butt fuck cancer though. I hate that shit. Butt cancer especially.

Submitted by WiKi at 2012-08-07 17:39:25 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

The first thing I've read on Uber in YEARS actually made me laugh.

Good on you. Glad to see there's more than just complete shit on here these days.

Submitted by FATMANTPK at 2012-08-07 16:36:37 EDT (#)

Where do people get the "labtop" thing from? I have seen it and it amazes me people think it is a "labtop".

Submitted by Average_Dan at 2012-08-07 14:30:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

This reminds me o' some misunderstood song lyrics. I had to correct a friend as he sung "it's been a long, black day" by soundgarden. He asked me if I was sure. For god's sake the name of the song is "fell on black days"! What more can you do?

Submitted by orphelia at 2012-08-07 13:59:22 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I just created my own setting for my laptop's brightness. I did this rather than log into Uber.
Make whatever of that you please.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-08-07 13:48:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

But still....damn.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-08-07 13:11:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Also, LOL'ed IRL at this...

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2012-08-07 11:48:02 EDT (#)

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-08-07 08:03:57 CDT (#)
Rating: 2

you were surprised buy the stupidity that runs amok in the world today?

"buy" the stupidity?

*face palm*

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-08-07 11:52:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

glad someone was paying attention

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2012-08-07 11:48:02 EDT (#)

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-08-07 08:03:57 CDT (#)
Rating: 2

you were surprised buy the stupidity that runs amok in the world today?

"buy" the stupidity?

*face palm*

Submitted by Doodles at 2012-08-07 10:43:32 EDT (#)

Surely this isn't true. Spellcheck would have taught him the error of his ways.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-08-07 09:03:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

you were surprised buy the stupidity that runs amok in the world today?
it's like a goddamned disease

Homer: This place is depressing.

Grampa: Hey! I live here.

Homer: Oh, well, I'm sure it's a blast once you get used to it.

-- Homer Simpson
Bart vs. Thanksgiving