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GrUeBERfest 2012: The Children of Switzerland

Submitted by Quartermain at 2012-09-30 20:54:24 EDT
Rating: 0.85 on 11 ratings (13 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

I warned you.

I told you what would happen, how I could not control myself, but you laughed at me. You laughed and said 'What's the worst that could happen?'

You're not laughing now though.

I thought I could control myself, that I could have them around and not succumb to the hellish urges and whispered commands. That maybe this time would be different, that this time I would be strong and able to resist temptation. But I was too weak. The shocked and horrified expression you wore the last time I saw you is burned into my memory, like a brand on a cow at the Shame and Guilt ranch.

I warned you.

At first it was enough to just stand there and look at them, in their boxes, where I kept them safe from prying eyes and judgmental questions. I would stand there and look at them. Sometimes I would reach out and start to touch one, but at the last moment would always snatch my hand back like I had been burnt.

And then, and then...it was no longer enough to just look. The temptation was too great. I had to touch them, to feel them. At this point I could delude myself that I was still in control, that I had not started down the slippery slope of rationalization, that I could still back away from the abyss.

What a fool I was.

There came a point where touching was not enough, like how watching before it had not been enough. I was now completely lost and what was more, no longer cared. Facile rationalizations had fallen by the wayside. All that mattered now was possession.

So I began to carve off little bits here and there. An ear here, a foot there, occasionally even a head if I felt I could get away with it. I would quickly dine on my prize and then dispose of the evidence, and none the wiser.

The more I got away with, the bolder I became, until I felt invincible. And that was my downfall. I had consumed the last of my latest prize earlier that day, and was already feeling the need for more. So I went out and got it. I had brought home five or six and was already working on them all when you came home and caught me.

Caught me with those poor children of Switzerland...

Those Swiss chocolate bunny rabbits.

Review This Item




Submitted by Ducky at 2012-10-31 05:08:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by Snark at 2012-10-10 17:58:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 0


Submitted by Anglophile at 2012-10-06 01:17:50 EDT (#)
Rating: -1

Submitted by jack11058 at 2012-10-05 15:02:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by Chocolomocopoco at 2012-10-04 06:51:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

As a child I used to enjoy dipping my chocolate Easter rabbits in coffee and imagining them screaming and writhing in pain as their ears/feet/faces melted.

oh who am I kidding, nothing has changed

Submitted by beergut at 2012-10-02 08:43:13 EDT (#)

Solid twist.. I was expecting chicken's

Submitted by JonnyX at 2012-10-01 14:03:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

chocolatey goodness

Submitted by Yes at 2012-10-01 13:55:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 1


Submitted by Yes at 2012-10-01 13:49:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

A 0 seems generous, but this is a contest and I'm nothing if not supportive of online writing contests on marginal websites.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-10-01 10:40:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I remember reading this. Me likey.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-10-01 08:35:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-09-30 21:07:14 EDT (#)

I want it all! The
terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles!

-- Homer Simpson

Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-09-30 21:06:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

...like a brand on a cow at the Shame and Guilt ranch.
You eat the feet off do you? haaaaaaaaa...

Sounded creepy till the last line!

TV Announcer:
The following is a public service announcement: Excessive
alcohol consumption can cause liver damage and cancer of the

Homer: Mmm ... beer.

So It's Come To This: A Simpsons Clip Show