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Happy Thanksgiving Uber!!

Submitted by Sage at 2012-11-22 13:12:11 EST
Rating: 1.33 on 19 ratings (36 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Hope this day is filled with lots of food, family, football, and fine spirits.

Love, Sage & Hazel

PS: Hail to the Redskins.



Review This Item




Submitted by JonnyX at 2014-12-03 16:09:51 EST (#)
Rating: 2

this is good, too

Submitted by apollo88 at 2013-07-19 10:47:22 EDT (#)


Submitted by Fucking foul at 2013-07-18 09:01:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

+2 papillon

Submitted by JonnyX at 2012-12-04 15:46:32 EST (#)
Rating: 2

love them teeth

Submitted by Sphagnum at 2012-11-28 05:07:32 EST (#)

What the fuck happened to this shithole?

ps, I'd fuck your AIDS infested mouth

Submitted by rob_berg at 2012-11-28 02:24:21 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by danceskrappydance at 2012-11-27 22:16:37 EST (#)

this post is gross

Submitted by grÜeMaster emeritus and uberlord supreme at 2012-11-27 22:16:37 EST (#)

this post is gross

Submitted by Sage at 2012-11-27 21:15:36 EST (#)

Hey Oathy, are you made of Copper and Tellurium? Because you are CuTe.

Either your comment below, or my comment above, is more truthful. You decide.

Submitted by OathMeal at 2012-11-27 17:24:04 EST (#)

Still isn't over him, below.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-11-26 09:28:40 EST (#)

I did have a lovely Thanksgiving, though, thank you. I truly hope yours was equally lovely.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-11-26 09:27:22 EST (#)

I thought you didn't consider me an ex, so therefore I wouldn't fall under that category.

And I've been over you for years now, at the very least the idea of being with you. I'm too good for you, kid. You said so yourself once. :D

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2012-11-26 08:30:21 EST (#)

Wow, see you still haven't gotten over me. As for my ex's and if any of them are guttersluts, I guess that speaks more about you. I hope your Thanksgiving was good, tho.

Submitted by DaBeast at 2012-11-23 23:47:29 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Happy Turkey Day everybody. Hope ya'll choke on a bone (as long as it ain't mine).

Submitted by OathMeal at 2012-11-23 23:37:43 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Congratulations on getting that many chicklets into your mouth at once.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-11-23 23:20:52 EST (#)

Also, Eye: if I know who you are, then you must know who I am. And if you know who I am, you have my email address. My real one, not my Uber one. So, email me.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-11-23 23:16:15 EST (#)

In other news, last night I had a dream I met Apollo while shopping on Black Friday. He was probably 6'2", muscular but lean, was a ginger (with a proportionally sized head), and was attractive. Obviously not at all descriptive of the actual Apollo but that's besides the point. Anyway, he tried to avoid me at first but I eventually seduced him in the dressing room and we got kicked out, only to go to his car in the parking lot. Then, we exchanged phone numbers and went our respective ways. I know it was Apollo because for some reason in my dream he was wearing a name tag that said "Apollo". Also, he called me Sage in my dream so he knew who I was.

Clearly I am either Ubering too much and/or haven't been with anyone in too long that I'm having sex dreams about people on Uber. Someone should point him in the direction of this comment/post; he might die of disgust which would suit me just fine.

Submitted by grÜeMaster emeritus and uberlord supreme at 2012-11-23 22:21:05 EST (#)


perhaps your follicly challenged knight in aging armor will provide the weakly batch

provided he can up his cialis to 20 mg

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-11-23 21:55:11 EST (#)
Rating: 2

The "arbiter of what a woman should look like" from someone who has never spoken to one in person", below.

Submitted by grÜeMaster emeritus and uberlord supreme at 2012-11-23 18:40:25 EST (#)

there's something disharmonious about your face; it's a bit off, as if each feature was created from slightly different specs

eyes, nose, mouth; individually they're fine, even superior, but your face as a whole (or hole) lacks cohesion

like a mannequin stitched together from several others or a sketch artist's portrait based on the recollections of disparate witnesses

i suggest a fuller, looser 'do which will de-accentuate your wide set eyes and soften the edges, giving you a more relaxed look

you might also consider taking a load or two in the face at least once a week. and anal for that orphelia-like earthy sensuality.

Submitted by Kracka at 2012-11-23 18:24:46 EST (#)
Rating: 2

in case anyone was wondering and i know they weren't. i would still hit it. and by hit it i mean act nice and shy and probably not say much of anything if we met.

Submitted by Doodles at 2012-11-23 18:03:50 EST (#)

I am a shitty troll. But I'm an excellent lover.


Submitted by EyeInTheSky at 2012-11-23 17:37:14 EST (#)
Rating: 2

God Bless you. You know who I am Sage

Submitted by Anglophile at 2012-11-23 16:29:42 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Next time you "accidentally" delete something, start with Director and Doodles. They are even shitty at being trolls.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-11-23 15:26:06 EST (#)
Rating: 2

The next time that you get laryngitis, give me a call and we'll bang.

Submitted by Doodles at 2012-11-23 15:05:10 EST (#)

It isn't your teeth. Your eyes are just waaaaaay to wide apart.

It's also your teeth.

I, probably, would toss you a pity fuck given a few stiff drinks, though.

Submitted by orphelia at 2012-11-23 13:12:03 EST (#)

I can't tell you enough how much I'd love teeth like yours it's such a brill smile.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-11-23 12:31:04 EST (#)

Rob, those are indeed my own teeth, not veneers. I brush with whitening toothpaste, and as for their size? All horses have big teeth.

Crap...I must've accidentally deleted toe's review. Pity, because I think she said something about blowing a guy who hadn't showered in 3 days. Not quite sure though, because my only experience speaking gutter slut is with Sico's exes. His current gf is actually a good one, though.

I hope everyone had a fabulous Thanksgiving, well, those that celebrate it anyway!


Submitted by rob_berg at 2012-11-23 04:56:03 EST (#)

Well ain't you just the purdiest darn slutton for punishment.

You sure do rile up these nerds.

You look great, by the way.

That dog looks yappy, though.

You really do have very large teeth. Are those veneers? Or do you just have freakishly white humungous choppers.?

Happy thanks o-giving to you and your little dog... who, by the way, is wearing an adorable little redskins dogsweater.

Dan ran is still a giant homo.

Submitted by Danger_Ranger at 2012-11-22 18:28:54 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Good CHRIST what the FUCK just happened at halftime? Mother of crap america is a weird fucking country.

sage you are a beautiful angel

now give us back the quarterback who should've been our first pick

Submitted by asmasta808 at 2012-11-22 17:23:33 EST (#)
Rating: -2

nah. fuck u dirty libetard paulbotted unreal fundie loving pilgrims!!! i'm gonna go dance with jew girls and eat bacon!!!

Submitted by EyeInTheSky at 2012-11-22 16:15:44 EST (#)
Rating: 2

You are actually a very good looking American lass...

and nice dog. What breed is that?

Submitted by Snark at 2012-11-22 15:27:54 EST (#)
Rating: 1

and Thetans... don't forget the Thetans.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-11-22 15:01:15 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I am extremely thankful that I don't have to hear Sage babbling on about some mindless topic during Thanksgiving dinner.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2012-11-22 14:41:49 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Director at 2012-11-22 14:06:40 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Fuck off, Seabiscuit. Hey, can you do tricks? Like count to three by striking your hoof on the ground three times? I always like horses that can do shit like that.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-11-22 14:03:53 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Auto +2 Sage and pup!

I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills.

-- Homer Simpson
Homer the Smithers