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Schröedinger's Lottery Ticket

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-11-27 09:49:20 EST
Rating: 0.62 on 10 ratings (23 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

The lottery is far and away the best entertainment value there is. I like the Powerball Lottery. It's a multi-State lottery with drawings twice a week. The minimum jackpot is $4M, and there are plenty of lesser pizes for matching fewer numbers. If there's no jackpot winner, it rolls over. This drawing, on Wednesday, has rolled over enough to become a record-high $425M. You can buy your Powerball ticket for $2 on Sunday or Thursday, and then you get to dream about what you'll do with the money for two or three days until you find out you've lost. You have to admit that $2 for three days positive mental distraction is a pretty good deal. But is there even more that can be extracted from this $2 investment? I submit that there is.

If you're experienced in not winning the lottery, as I am because like a moron I play it twice every week, you can even get all Schröedinger on it and wait a few more days before checking your ticket. If there was a winner of the jackpot, as there often is, it might be you. Probably not, of course, but it MIGHT be you. Until you actually know that the numbers on your ticket aren't the same as the numbers that were drawn, you exist between your normal condition and that of being fabulously well-to-do. Until you check the numbers, you occupy both realities. In one reality you're happy to see a three-digit balance in your bank account at the end of the month, and in the other, a three-digit bill for lunch doesn't bother you at all. Which reality is real? Both and neither, until you look at the numbers.

I am a pröfessional lottery not-winner. I have lottery tickets in my wallet that are almost a year old, that I have not checked. Some of them were for drawings that had jackpot winners. I might be one of those millionaire winners. Probably not, but I MIGHT be. I have Schröedinger's Lottery ticket, several times over. "Wait a year to check a lottery ticket? That's stupid. Why wouldn't you want the money right away?" you say. Well, I'll tell you. The odds of winning anything in the lottery, let alone the jackpot, are pretty small. That's why the winners get a ton of cash and the educational systems of the States involved in Powerball get some cash too. But there is a way to guarantee you'll win something with every ticket, and that way is what I have described above - using the Lottery as an entertainment device. You're paying $2 for the pleasant distraction. By not checking the tickets I'm extending that distraction and getting a better value. Like I said, I am a pröfessional.

Of course, going over a year would be stupid. The tickets are no good after a year, so even a winning ticket would be valueless to redeem for the prize and thus it is of no value as a prize-amount distraction either. So once they get close to a year old, I check them, toss out the non-winners, and take any winners to the grocery with me to get my free tickets or $4 prizes or whatever. Most often, of course, it's 'nothing'. I still have the distraction, though, and it continues.

Tomorrow's drawing is $425M. I've got my ticket, and if there is a winner I will do my best to not check to see if it was me for a few weeks at least. What about you? Can you occupy both ordinary and disgustingly rich realities? Can you buy Schröedinger's Lottery Ticket?


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Submitted by skrapmetal at 2013-01-09 18:11:04 EST (#)

This was my 150th post!

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-11-29 13:28:17 EST (#)

I think not, Orph. You could get an American to play for you, if there's one you trust with half a billion dollars. Yeah, I can't think of any either. Anyway, two winning tickets were sold and unfortunately for Schrödinger and I, neither were in FL.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-11-28 17:47:23 EST (#)

$0.55B now. Get your tickets in the next 4 hours!

Submitted by Sphagnum at 2012-11-28 05:07:01 EST (#)
Rating: -2

What the fuck happened to this shithole?

Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-11-28 01:12:45 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Sure I play! Somebody has to win, and if you don't play you don't win. I know two people who have won big playing the lottery.

One person I know won and he bought land, lots of land, in Calaveras County. He now employs half the population. He has ranches and vineyards and he keeps people building more barns, homes and fences. He raises livestock and keeps the feed stores and the vet and the farriers in biz. He makes wine and that keeps a few hundred more people working.

Another winner used part of his winnings to buy a local lake resort and has turned it into a music venue. He employs a lot of people.


Submitted by Doodles at 2012-11-27 23:57:19 EST (#)

made me laugh below

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-11-27 23:08:00 EST (#)
Rating: 0

That last "review" negated any chance that you had of finishing your day in the plus column on "funny".

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-11-27 19:06:55 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Hey, I wanted to read a funny comment here, too.

That would bring today's total of funny comments to....ummmm, one.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-11-27 18:28:30 EST (#)

Soz, no1, but I've explained this to you. You don't have to like it, but that's the way it is.

Submitted by no1hasdis at 2012-11-27 17:31:50 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2012-11-27 16:54:15 EST (#)

Whysie, you made me laugh again. That's what, two times now? :)


I was actually going to +2 this, then I realized skrappy's up to his comment deleting shenanigans again. Sorry, I just can't support that kind of behaviour, auto -2.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-11-27 17:23:03 EST (#)

In most States that have a Lottery, the lottery does benefit public education directly.


Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2012-11-27 16:54:15 EST (#)

Whysie, you made me laugh again. That's what, two times now? :)

Skrap - considering the rapidly deteriorating value of USA currency, what good is winning the lottery if the fed reserve defaults on its debt? Seems to me that we'd be better off funneling the money currently spent on lotteries, pro sports, and excessive military deployment into things that benefit everyone, like education and health care. But what do I know? I'm just a middle-class taxpayer.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-11-27 16:18:23 EST (#)

A $2 video game will be worthless without your $200+ device to play it on. If your $2 ticket wins the $0.5B powerball you can buy an iPad with Angry Birds on it for every person in Maine.

Submitted by Doodles at 2012-11-27 16:00:11 EST (#)

You know what else I can get for $2? angry birds and fruit ninja.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-11-27 15:03:14 EST (#)

Estimated jackpot is now $0.5B. That's more than the 2010 GDP of 13 countries.

Could be yours for $2.

Submitted by Doodles at 2012-11-27 14:01:37 EST (#)


Why I will never play powerball.

Video poker on the otherhand...

Submitted by EyeInTheSky at 2012-11-27 13:01:36 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-11-27 12:26:46 EST (#)

I think a $2 knobber would not be very entertaining. Do you realize that, for a $2 investment, you might be able to buy yourself a $100 knobber every day for the next 11,636 years? Think about that.

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2012-11-27 12:01:07 EST (#)
Rating: 1

If I wanted to throw away my money for entertainment purposes, I would much prefer that blow jobs be involved as a bare minimum. And I don't mean getting gummed by Shlongy, either.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-11-27 11:48:45 EST (#)

I'm well aware that its at $425M and I am playing as a result. But thanks for the update.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-11-27 11:24:56 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I got your Powerballs, right here.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-11-27 10:29:21 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Very deep, Skrap.

You should have read Sage, 425M. Think of all the oats that could buy.

or NOT buy...(see how I tied that into the post? Fuck I'm clever)

Submitted by Sage at 2012-11-27 10:12:47 EST (#)
Rating: 2


I know this is about the lottery & I only play when it gets above $300M.

Forget it, Marge, it's Chinatown!

-- Homer Simpson
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