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Dear Mossberg; I hate you.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-12-17 12:12:11 EST
Rating: 1.5 on 8 ratings (14 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

This is not a pro- or anti-gun rights post. Shut it.

I went to the gun show in Crystal River, FL on Saturday. Gun shows are fun not only for the guns and knives and supplies and accessories and related gear, but for the interesting people you meet. I met a friend there and we paid our $6 admission, and went in. There were about 300 people walking about and probably 60 vendors with tables full of fun things to look at and buy. It was not a large show, I mean the Tampa shows are 10 times the size, and with the recent election results the prices were astronomical, but there was fun to be had nonetheless. I did buy a 25rd mag for one of my .22s, but that's beside the point. The point is this: Zombies are not real.

Besides the usual ammo producers and gun shops being represented, there were a lot of private sale guys (legal in FL), books on gunsmithing and history, and a few tables with gun-related jewelry (earrings made from cartridge shells, that kind of thing). And, to my surprise and dismay, there were a number of vendors selling zombie-related gear like "Zombie Apocalypse Response Team" t-shirts, stickers, car banners, and weapons. You read that right - weapons. Now some of these weapons take the form of the same machete you'd buy for $10 at Lowes to clear some small limbs from trees, with the addition of a bright green plastic handle, the word "zombie" on the packaging somewhere, and a $25 price tag. But then there's Mossberg.

This http://www.mossberg.com/product/shotguns-pump-action-500-special-purpose-chainsaw/50461 (pic below) is an actual 12 gauge shotgun that the Mossberg Company really produces for real sale to actual real people. More than one vendor had them on display and for sale. It's a black matte-finish pump-action 12 gauge shotgun with an 8rd magazine, door breacher, pistol rear grip, top/bottom pump grips, and the letters "ZMB" in green on the side. Price tag of about $540.

Seriously, Mossberg? Really? GUNS ARE NOT TOYS YOU FUCKING MORONS! Who do you think you're going to sell these to? Do you suppose that I, a responsible adult gun owner, is going to spend $540 on a shotgun that would cost 70% of that without the stupid grips and lettering? No, I bet you don't. Do you suppose that someone like me will purchase that foolish thing for their child in order to promote safe and fun gun use? No, obviously not. Or perhaps you expect that some responsible gun owner will buy it, convert it to some actual useful form, and then hunt with it? Clearly you don't, as you sell the pre-converted (read: unmodified) version for less money. So, who do you think will buy this stupid thing? The kid who went to the gun show, saw it, went home, sold his XBox and 75 games at the pawn shop, and came back the next day, that's who. You know, the third least responsible person you can possibly imagine having a gun. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, MOSSBERG? What marketing hydroceph talked you into this kind of corporate irresponsibility? Guns are not toys. Guns can be dangerous in the wrong or irresponsible hands. WHY DO YOU MARKET THIS WEAPON TO IDIOTS WHO THINK ZOMBIES ARE A THREAT?

I know zombies are not real. Mossberg the corporation knows zombies are not real. And yes, even the video-game-addled kid buying a shotgun called the Chainsaw ZMB knows zombies are not real, despite having 'killed' 10,000 of them on the PS3 earlier that day. But buying and selling an actual real device capable of killing zombies and laughing about the killing of said zombies as the paperwork is being filled out WITH BOTH PARTIES OF FULL KNOWLEDGE THAT ZOMBIES ARE NOT REAL displays a breathtaking departure from the seriousness that selling, buying, and owning such a device should instill.

I'm not saying that the vendor or the buyer is the problem here. It's the manufacturer of this stupid thing. People are not zombies. Life is not a video game. The immersive qualities of video games make it more difficult for the irresponsible person to switch from video game behavior to reality behavior. Mossberg: please stop trying to make the situation worse. Guns are not toys, you fucking morons.


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Submitted by skrapmetal at 2014-12-07 06:46:05 EST (#)

Went to the Tampa Gun Show yesterday. Aside from a couple T-shirts, there was not a Zombie-related thing to be seen. And for that I am grateful. Guns are not toys.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-12-30 20:28:13 EST (#)

Steak - Ruger makes a nice competition target .22 pistol in stainless. http://www.ruger.com/products/markIIICompetition/models.html Get the competition grips for it, and either a quicksight or a nice 3x scope depending on what type of range shooting you'll be doing. Scope will work for huntyuing, too. Has enough mass to steady it for rapid shooting and to minimize the effect of the loss of mass of the ammunition as you go theough the contents of the magazine, and the heavy barrel heats evenly so accuracy isn't affected greatly as the temperature of the barrel rises with each subsequent round. The Mark II version of that was my first decent target pistol. After 6 years and roughly 15,000 rounds through it the extractor broke. I sent it back to Ruger and they repaired it free, including return shipping. Pretty rare to fine a machine with a lifetime warranty these days, but there you go. Alternately, for real pistol accuracy (using the bipod) there's this http://www.ruger.com/products/22Charger/models.html I have one of these as well, and it's vurry naice.

Submitted by ilikesteak at 2012-12-30 19:57:16 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I'm starting to think that pistols should have a weight minimum. I decided to look for a targeting .22, and most of them were lighter than my Duck Hunt light gun. There's something unnerving about the fact that it didn't feel like I was holding something capable of killing a person, and very quickly lets you realize how quickly young children can see them as playthings if they manage to get hold of one.

Submitted by X54 at 2012-12-20 10:49:38 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Then there's Zombie Max ammo from Hornady: http://www.hornady.com/ammunition/zombiemax

I agree with you: it's irresponsible. Too many fuckheads already have a hard enough time distinguishing between reality and video games.

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB at 2012-12-19 12:11:29 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Fuck Mossbergs, Remingtons get what they want because they earned it.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-12-19 07:21:02 EST (#)

I think we both know that, even as anything is possible in an infinite universe, the possibility of zombies existing is so remote as to be of no concern. Soz about the headache - put a shot of tequila in the freezer for 15 min and then drink it. You'll feel better.

I had toy guns as a kid and I'm so old that the toys actually looked like real guns with no orange parts or anything like that back then. A lot of the TV I watched as a kid was loaded with guns (cop shows, the Lone Ranger, Hawaii 5-0). However, I was taught the difference between real and facsimile long before I got my first real weapon. I'd bet money that the kids shooting with their parents at the range I go to are far, far less likely than average to be on the initiating end of gun violence in the future. Education on, and experience with guns instills the respect of which you speak. </soapbox>

Submitted by orphelia at 2012-12-19 01:05:15 EST (#)

Omg all the caps gave me a headache.
Whilst I appreciate your point I think you're a little naive with regards to your views on zombies. They may not be real but they are possible lol.

Also on a more serious note - what Apollo said. Plus guns are too much ingrained into modern culture. They are toys for children, computer game accessories for teens, part of music videos, movies, books (does anyone recall those paper things). There will never be respect for something so deadly yet so overexposed from an early age. Fin.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-12-18 10:42:22 EST (#)

Loves me some Tractor Supply.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-12-18 09:27:00 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-12-17 18:47:29 EST (#)

There were more than one of these at the show too. Think the color scheme makes it less intimidating to operate? Jebus H Crizz on a space moped, who the fuck thinks of this shit and why are they still employed?


Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-12-17 17:10:37 EST (#)
Rating: 2

[zom-bee] Show IPA
the body of a dead person given the semblance of life, but mute and will-less, by a supernatural force, usually for some evil purpose.
the supernatural force itself.
a person whose behavior or responses are wooden, listless, or seemingly rote; automaton.
an eccentric or peculiar person.
a snake god worshiped in West Indian and Brazilian religious practices of African origin.
a tall drink made typically with several kinds of rum, citrus juice, and often apricot liqueur.
Canadian Slang. an army conscript assigned to home defense during World War II.

Submitted by apollo88 at 2012-12-17 17:05:22 EST (#)
Rating: 2

The toyification of weaponry is shocking.

What next, Barbie grenades?

Submitted by Anglophile at 2012-12-17 17:04:35 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by asmasta808 at 2012-12-17 13:27:43 EST (#)
Rating: -2

you biught the gun didn't u. xbox-frendo!!! *pt n laugh like small willy assian

I've figured out the boy's punishment. First, he's grounded. No
leaving the house, not even for school. Second, no eggnog. In fact,
no nog, period. And third, absolutely no stealing for three months.

-- Homer Simpson
Marge Be Not Proud