login / register
Had to look up what a THOT is. Yeah...
Welcome to Ubersite!

Meh and Meh and Meh and some more Meh

Submitted by DaBeast at 2012-12-18 22:05:49 EST
Rating: 1.63 on 14 ratings (27 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Ever notice that the chicks that were pissed over the Bill Clinton getting oral sex in the Oval Office scandal were the very same chicks that looked amazingly like Monica Lewinsky, dark haired, dark eyed, fat as a friar? They really weren't pissed off about Clinton getting down in the double-O. What pissed them off was hearing the fuckton of fat chick jokes after they'd looked in a mirror and spotted the resemblence themselves. The look on Clinton's face after those jokes started flying were interesting too because you could tell he was irritated. Probably for the same reason that I was: I woulda let her blow me, too.

You can tell a lot about a person by keeping track of what offends them. Me, I was offended when Bart took down Ubersite, hid it at the bottom of his porn stash, and forgot about it for half a year. I know that a lot of stuff wasn't working and I know that Bart wanted to tweak it. I don't care. It wasn't broken because we were still using it so it didn't need fixing. I know that if it were worth a damn, it could take a hit like that and keep right on waddling down the Internet highway to hell - which it's doing, so yes, it's worth a damn. I don't care. It wasn't broken. I'm still offended. Do you know how difficult it is to get a really nasty, raunchy, trunkload fulla assholes, creeps, geeks, and freaks into one place without them actively trying to kill each other? I'll tell you how difficult - this place is the only one I know. Where else can you get quality hole-hopping Shlongy interacting with fabulous DanRan, idiotic Doodles, snide Fallen, pissed off Skrapmetal, perma-geekgasmed Frankthebear, faraway RoadSong, surpising S.I.Co., that megahick SilvrWolf, Sage's blinding teeth, the whatever-the-fuck-he-is rob_berg, the snarky Orphelia, that Dresden mockup Famine, George Michael's evil twin Culaincourt, curious TigerLily, weird loki, the on-again/off-again Merlina, Pungasmic Quartermain, the permanently unemployed ridiculous, cheeky redskieslookfake... sinple.catalyst, ghola, monkeyswithguns, damnit, there's too fucking many. Fuck the ones I can't remember, you don't post often enough, it's your fault. It's like taking every last inmate of a maximum security insane asylum and stuffing them all into a small room. There's no furniture in the room, no windows, the door gets barred behind them, the solitary light fixture is a good 15' above on a bland, white ceiling in a vanilla bean colored room. There's no tv, there's no phone, there's no internet. There's only a room chock fulla mental dysfunction. When they aren't busy beating one another with their fists, their feet, or their cocks, they're yammering at different pitches about the crazy in their heads to the room at large and anyone in it that might possibly be interested. It's madness. It's hilarious. It's sobering. It's insane! It's Ubersite. Why the hell did you have to try to FIX it?

Newtown, Conneticut has the market cornered on tragedy. What pisses me off is that it's being politicized into a debate on gun rights. The guns that were used were legally registered, they belonged to to a law abiding citizen that kept them safe in her home. That gun owner did nothing wrong insofar as the guns themselves were concerned. This shouldn't be about guns - it's the old turkey "guns don't kill people" two-step. The little ratturd that did this plotted it out, meticulously, and then enacted his stupid ass plan. It isn't the gun's fault. What happened is the fault of the gun owner. Not because she owned guns but because she didn't do something about her progeny before something like this happened. You don't secrete a child from the world for whatever reason and then expect that kid to turn out normal. If she was protecting the world from him, then he shouldn't have been at home, he should have been in an asylum or in the ground. Period. You get the right to bring life onto this planet, then you should also get the right to eject it when it goes Fubar and makes Frankenstein's monster look cuddly. And if she, possibly, had guns because he scared the hell out of her, then the first thing she shoulda done with the first gun was blow the little fucker's head right off his neck. If I buy a gun for protection, then I'm gonna go protect myself with it as soon as it's in my hot little hands. Nobody ever saw the kid anyway. She coulda offed him, buried him in the backyard, and nobody woulda noticed a damned thing - and, thinking about it, that mighta been her plan. She just wasn't quick enough. Stupid bitch. This shouldn't be a gun debate. This should be a retroactive abortion debate.

And meh. For the moment, I'm done.


Review This Item




Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe at 2013-01-11 03:57:25 EST (#)
Rating: 0

"The guns that were used were legally registered, they belonged to to a law abiding citizen that kept them safe in her home."


This is where you lost me, 'guns' and 'safe' don't really seem to apply here. I've woken up to find a home intruder in my house, I was walking to the toilet early in the morning and saw a guy crawling in the window, guess what weapon I used to stop him.....a scream. And a little pee. He immediately scooted back out the window, I called the police and they were there in a minute, while I was on phone they told me there was a police helicopter in the area and it was there in in 2 minutes. There were police dogs there in 10 minutes and they caught the kid. Now I don't live in the best of areas but help was there in minutes and a 14 year old idiot was arrested. Because of strict gun control neither person in this scenario was hurt. I lie, one person was hurt, Me, seeing my flat mate running down the hallway naked wielding a golf club.

Submitted by ridiculous at 2013-01-07 10:01:27 EST (#)

No sir, alive and well, glad to see the same is true for you. I posted a couple of months back but it was shit so don't bother looking for it. Thought I might start exercising the old thought meats again and write something for you lot, we shall see. And, I didn't think he was half bad. (Read: He's bigger than me.)

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2013-01-07 07:59:01 EST (#)

Thought you were dead, ridic. Also: I thought Vin Diesel was shit in your Chronicles.

Submitted by ridiculous at 2013-01-07 06:32:37 EST (#)
Rating: 2

It burns because I am actually unemployed at the moment. -_-

Submitted by Doodles at 2012-12-20 10:44:27 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Well idiotic isn't the worst thing ice been called today.

Submitted by Darth_Famine at 2012-12-20 06:54:38 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Poor Orphy stuck between me and Berg.

For the recored I am not a Dresden knockoff, I was like this long before he was a twinkle in Butcher's eye,

Dresden is a Famine knockoff

Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-12-20 02:48:33 EST (#)
Rating: 2

*ponders being between Frankthebear and surpising S.I.Co....

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-12-19 16:31:51 EST (#)
Rating: 2

You don't know what you're missing.

I'd be happy to show you.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-12-19 16:17:35 EST (#)

I don't own a vibrator, or any other sex toys for that matter. :(

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-12-19 16:01:44 EST (#)
Rating: 2

What I can take from that answer is that you don't give too many gummers and you presently have your vibrator in your mouth.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-12-19 15:53:45 EST (#)

Thixthteen thouthand dollarth.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-12-19 15:44:36 EST (#)
Rating: 2

How much do YOU charge for a gummer, Sage?

Submitted by Sage at 2012-12-19 14:55:09 EST (#)

Dude looks like he'd be funny to watch on COPS at least.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2012-12-19 14:25:30 EST (#)

Sage: he knows I'm from VA, but he knows that I'm close enough to West By-God that it'll irk me to make the mistake. He's a jerk like that... or maybe it's because I banged his Jesuit mother and never called her back... whatevs

Besides, I have AT LEAST four more teeth than the dude pictured.
...and I don't look QUITE so strung out.
...and sleeveless is too '90s for me.
But the stupid grin? NAILED IT!

Submitted by Sage at 2012-12-19 14:02:17 EST (#)

One more meth hit & that front tooth'll fall right out. Then he'll gum your peen for $2 American.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-12-19 14:01:12 EST (#)

Just saw the file name from above. From what I know, Silvr is actually in CENTRAL VA, not West VA. The above looks like Caul, circa 2022.

Submitted by grÜeMaster emeritus and uberlord supreme at 2012-12-19 13:02:24 EST (#)

good likeness

i can almost smell the urine-based floorwax

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2012-12-19 12:59:56 EST (#)

Submitted by Sage at 2012-12-19 11:45:13 EST (#)

Also, I'm not sure how I feel about my placement in between Silvr and Rob_Berg.

Being next to me isn't all that bad. Plus, I have to keep a buffer between me & berg; he wouldn't be able to keep his faggy mitts off of my sexiness.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-12-19 11:47:49 EST (#)

PS - Why the fuck does anyone care why the dude did it? People died, he's a fucking psychopath. End of story. This shouldn't even be a story except to mourn the loss of the innocents that died.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-12-19 11:45:13 EST (#)

Also, I'm not sure how I feel about my placement in between Silvr and Rob_Berg.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-12-19 11:43:49 EST (#)
Rating: 2

My teeth aren't blinding.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-12-19 10:01:46 EST (#)
Rating: 2

BBOT holycrap my eyes

+2 name drop

really? I've been called a lot of things but never snide.
1.Derogatory or mocking in an indirect way: "snide remarks".
2.(of a person) Devious and underhanded.

I'm not devious, I am a bit of the first part tho.

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2012-12-19 09:12:57 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Oh, well, of course, everything looks bad if you remember it.

-- Homer Simpson
El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Homer

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-12-19 09:03:52 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Yeah, where else can you get all of that? (Whatever the fuck he was talking about...)

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-12-19 07:32:28 EST (#)

+2 namedrop. I'm not pissed off, though. That takes too much energy. Sometimes I get annoyed - I'll give you that.

Apparently, a) mom failed to properly secure her weapons, b) the kid went off because he found out she was going to have him committed.

Submitted by orphelia at 2012-12-19 00:57:00 EST (#)
Rating: 2

+2 me. Cunt.
There is a lot of speculation there about the perp and his family. I prefer to wait for the facts then pass judgement, that's just me.
Also I gather from this you either are in love with danran or you are danran or perhaps both? *speculates.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2012-12-18 22:33:27 EST (#)
Rating: 2

No fair. That was a lotta meth ago, man.
Still have the hat, though.

You're a hairy, goat-fucking troglodyte, by the way.

Bart: Dad, you killed the Zombie Flanders!

Homer: He was a zombie?

Treehouse of Horror III