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Fuck off, Perkman. I win at losing...everything.

Submitted by Sage at 2013-03-11 04:30:18 EDT
Rating: 1.82 on 29 ratings (79 reviews) (V)

This weekend was supposed to be pretty normal.

Friday night was going to consist of going for a 4.5 mile run (I am training for Richmond's Monument Avenue 10K) and watching the previously DVR'ed Pulp Fiction (I have never seen it start to finish, which isn't shocking if you know me IRL).

Saturday, a group of friends and I were going to celebrate my best friend's boyfriend's 31st birthday by going on a brewery tour on a party bus. And Sunday, I was going to pack a bit more of my apartment...I had already packed about 50% (at least) of my belongings in preparation for my move to downtown Richmond this coming Friday (March 15th).

But none of that happened.

Ok, I take it back. My run happened. After my run, I took a shower, changed into sweats, and cooked up a nice feast of a dinner - Cup O'Noodles (again - moving, so I was trying to go as long as humanly possible without grocery shopping - less to move, you see).

By 8:30pm, I was watching Pulp Fiction on my couch. During the scene where Vincent Vega and Mia Wallace were at Jack Rabbit Slims, I started to smell smoke. I thought nothing of it, really...all of the apartments in my complex have wood-burning fireplaces and periodically I'd smell smoke, attributing it to my "dumb" neighbors starting a fire in their fireplace and forgetting to open up the flue. I figured it was the same old bullshit.

Seconds later, I heard footsteps of people running down the steps. My dog Hazel started barking like crazy, but again - I heard people running up/down the steps periodically and didn't think much of it. In fact, I went out my front door, and aside from smelling a bit of smoke, all seemed relatively normal, so I decided to just sit down and keep watching the movie.

Probably 2-3 minutes later (maybe less), the smoke smell got worse, and I noticed the footsteps were continuing. I also started to hear what sounded like people banging on doors and yelling. I went outside on my porch this time, and out of the corner of my eye, saw smoke billowing out from the stairs.

It was at that moment I realized that my building was probably on fire, and even if it wasn't, I didn't want to stick around and find out.

I had Hazel in my arms already, and I ran to the bathroom to grab some essentials. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw smoke coming out of some holes that had been drilled into the wall (presumably to hang the mirror in the bathroom...I guess they decided to hang it lower). At this point, I was shaking.

I ran to my closet to try and find an overnight bag, but my closet was so smoky that all I could grab was one pair of pants and a pair of shoes to wear. I ran to my front door, grabbed my keys, sunglasses (they were in the same tray on the knee wall by my front door), and my purse, and opened my door to find one of my neighbors' teenage sons yelling and crying to get the fuck out because the building was on fire.

It was pitch black in the breezeway/stairway of my apartment building - all of the power had gone out. I live on the 3rd floor and had to run down all of the sets of stairs in total darkness. I saw my neighbors all gathering outside of the building...everyone and their animals had evacuated. I heard the sound of fire trucks and police cars and I immediately got in my car and tried to drive out of my neighborhood.

My mind was racing...all I wanted to do was get the fuck away from whatever the fuck was happening, as fast as humanly possible. I tried to call my best friend, but she didn't answer. I then called my friend who I had plans with the next day and pretty much lost it...I was incoherent. I told her my apartment was on fire and that I was probably not going to make it to the brew tour.

At first, she thought I was wasted. Then, she heard all the commotion and as I panicked trying to get out of my neighborhood (futile since firetrucks were entering), she thought I was trapped in my apartment.

After calling my parents who encouraged me to call my ex boyfriend (due to his proximity to my now-former residence), I went to my ex boyfriend's house to calm down. I then worked up the nerve to go back to my apartment, hoping that maybe the blaze had been contained enough that my apartment wasn't completely destroyed.

I couldn't get back into my neighborhood due to the 12+ fire trucks and myriad police cars/ambulances etc., so I parked in the turning lane and walked into my complex. As soon as I could see my building, I noticed the roof over my unit was completely gone. After speaking to the fire marshal, he confirmed that my apartment was indeed totaled.

There were news cameras galore who shot footage of two of the 100-foot tank trucks trying to put out the blaze, only for the chimney to collapse...into what used to be my living room.

I lost everything except for the clothes on my back, my purse, and my dog. I am, quite literally, and through no fault of my own, homeless.

Words can't describe the shock, sadness, and helplessness I have felt since Friday night. I have been doing my best to keep it together and haven't even really cried that much since then.

Not even today, when I finally talked to my renters' insurance agent and found out that the coverage I had is not going to cover 100% of my belongings...I started the inventory valuation spreadsheet tonight, and, not figuring in the $2,200 I've spent this weekend on clothing and shoes for work, toiletries, and stuff for Hazel (amazing how expensive everything is), I am already just at 2/3 of my max reimbursement.

At this point, I figure probably 80% of my belongings will be covered. But I have so much stuff that things like my jewelry and golf clubs and snowboarding equipment and the two Louis Vuitton bags that were in a closet right next to the chimney will have to take a back burner to more important things like clothing and furniture and groceries.

I am typing this on my work laptop, and speaking of work, I told my boss what happened and I am taking tomorrow (today?) off to take care of business. Things like calling Verizon to tell them the FiOS equipment that I was supposed to return was destroyed, and that they can hold off on installing service at my new address because I don't have a television and don't know when I will get one. And meeting with my insurance adjuster to hash out my inventory spreadsheet.

I feel sick to my stomach and helpless. I would love a fucking Xanax, and I will probably end up getting a prescription for some just to calm my ass down in the midst of this bullshit. This is, by far, the most traumatic event of my entire life, and I have been through some shit (parents' divorce, my own divorce, nearly dying in a car accident, etc).

I know a person's true character is revealed in times of crisis, and I guess this situation is going to reveal who I really am. But one thing that seems to be the silver lining of it all is my perspective on humanity.

On Saturday morning, I had no clean underwear to wear (I rolled commando that day), no toothbrush, nothing to shower with...quite literally nothing, and my good friend let me borrow her deodorant, a sweatshirt, a jacket, and some shoes. First stop was Victoria's Secret...and I almost lost it when they asked me what I needed.

My answer was, of course, "everything". I explained the highlights of the situation to the perplexed sales associate and word quickly spread to the other employees, and when it came time to check out, my bill was reduced by 2/3. Same thing happened when I went shopping for work clothes at The Limited. I asked for the employees' names and will be writing corporate to tell them how much that meant to me. I am humbled by peoples' generosity...brought to tears by it.

I know Uber isn't really a "praying" type of community (at least not the majority of you), but please...pray for me. I need all the prayers/good vibes I can get right now. I have a long ass road ahead of me and I am frankly scared as shit.

I am sorry for the sheer length of this post...I just needed to vent. I don't know why I picked here to do it, but I guess this place is familiar yet anonymous enough to be perfect for that.

Wish me luck.


Come hang on my couch with my chimney
Come hang on my couch with my chimney

Damn where'd my roof just go?
Damn where'd my roof just go?


Submitted by Shlongy at 2013-11-25 18:16:41 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I'll keep my fingers and wiener crossed for you.

Submitted by Sage at 2013-11-25 16:13:42 EST (#)

Submitted by Anglophile at 2013-11-15 16:33:04 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Did the landlord/insurance make everything right?


Ehhhhh. Not really. Well, insurance kinda did. MY insurance, anyway. I got what my policy indicated I would get, but it was about 1/3 of my total property value, so it didn't cover everything.

I'm actually in the middle of a lawsuit right now, just filed it. Found out from their insurance company's claims processor (essentially the defendant) that they'll come up with some figure to begin neotiations in a few weeks. I'm pretty sure they're gonna lowball the shit out of me, but at least it's a starting point, and then we'll go from there...worse comes to worst, I'll reject it and we'll book a court date. Due to the $$ amount it'll prob be in Circuit Court with a jury and will prob not go to trial for a year or so. :/

SOOOO...that's the latest. Keep your fingers crossed!

Submitted by Anglophile at 2013-11-15 16:33:04 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Did the landlord/insurance make everything right?

Submitted by SgtHartman at 2013-03-29 08:05:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Keep your teeth up.

As well as your chin. :)

Submitted by apollo88 at 2013-03-25 17:46:44 EDT (#)

Stables burn really easily. You should know that. All that straw, hay and oils.

Submitted by Sage at 2013-03-23 10:54:15 EDT (#)

I feel the love, Jeanneee, thanks. Weirdly enough I have never been that scare of fire, nor is it even now my "biggest fear". I am sure that will change as my psyche processes everything but as of yet I don't even think any of what has happened has really even hit me. I haven't had time to really think about it all...I am just in "rebuild" mode and am just trying to suck it up and keep moving. I'm sure in a month or two once everything has somewhat calmed down it will hit me. Shopping for my bathroom and a mattress yesterday was hella overwhelming, though. Doing my kitchen and bedding today, maybe furniture if I have time and the $$ doesn't run out.

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2013-03-22 14:48:36 EDT (#)

Whoa I totally missed this. I'm so glad you and your dog made it out safely! Fire is absolutely my worst fear. Wish I could hug you or something.

Submitted by Sage at 2013-03-22 12:42:40 EDT (#)

Thanks for the advice, Skrap & Frank. Will definitely keep that in mind.

Submitted by Frank at 2013-03-22 11:51:45 EDT (#)

Oh on a side note if it happens that you can file a suit I wouldnt go with one of those class action types where one lawyer represents all the clients. The only person that gets payed in that situation is the lawyer.. Spoken from experience.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2013-03-22 11:48:09 EDT (#)

"...early investigations show the source of the fire was a small metal lantern that fell over onto a bale of hay. The lantern shows the imprint of what looks to be a hoof. Inspectors are continuing their work later today."


I'm joking you know, hope all is well.

Submitted by Frank at 2013-03-22 11:47:22 EDT (#)

I was on the second squad to arrive. So we didn't make entry. Cant tell you with 100% accuracy what started it but the rumor mill was talking about a chimney failure like you said. Wait untill the Marshall finishes their investigation. I'm not a lawyer but if the problem is structural or lack of maintenence you can usually get some compensation.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2013-03-22 11:20:36 EDT (#)

If it is an apartment (and not a condo), you don't own any part of it and have no maintenance responsibilities for any part of it. Your renter's insurance applies only to your personal stuff, not the building or things that come with it like appliances. The extent of your responsibility to maintain the building is probably (note: check your lease agreement) limited to letting the building owners's rep know if there is a problem they need to fix. If the fire got out of a flue and into the chimney void, you sue the building owner if you need to sue anybody to be made whole. Haha - whole. Anyway, they sue for subrogation the builder and maybe the county, but that's not your problem since your contract is with the building owner who has to provide a place that doesn't burn down.

The Fire Marshall investigators likely took a bunch of pictures. You can get copies - it's public information. The pictures will help you understand the fire report.

Submitted by Sage at 2013-03-22 10:34:28 EDT (#)

Submitted by Frank at 2013-03-21 13:18:40 EDT (#)

Yup, henrico FD. My old name was iambetteratit... Used to be quite the douche troll around these parts.


Well jumping Jehoshaphat! I remember you. Seriously though, no need to apologize about "not putting it out in time." It is what it is.

I did get the fire report on Monday and broke down a bit reading it. It still seems inconclusive as to the source, although they say it was on the second (of four total - basement, first, second, third) levels, so I guess the first floor?

Also, I keep hearing that it was chimney failure. If that's the truth, do I (and the other tenants) have a case against my landlord for the damages? Since it was a common chimney, the onus to maintain it should be on the landlord and not on the tenants, I would think, because even if I had "my" portion of the chimney cleaned on the reg, who's to say the tenants below me would keep "their" portions maintained?

Sigh...I need a lawyer...

Submitted by Shlongy at 2013-03-22 08:13:29 EDT (#)

Majority shareholder in "Swansons Dinner For One", below.

Submitted by OathMeal at 2013-03-21 22:25:19 EDT (#)

Vacuous cunt below.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2013-03-21 22:13:05 EDT (#)


For me, I mean.

Submitted by Frank at 2013-03-21 20:10:20 EDT (#)

Who could forget shlongy? I expected nothing less.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2013-03-21 19:45:32 EDT (#)

Well, you still have the douche part nailed, Frank.

Submitted by Frank at 2013-03-21 13:18:40 EDT (#)

Yup, henrico FD. My old name was iambetteratit... Used to be quite the douche troll around these parts.

Submitted by Sage at 2013-03-21 13:14:56 EDT (#)

Redskies...it is a well-known fact on this website and IRL that I am a magnet for creepers. Not saying Frank is a creeper.

Was Frank your old username? If not, what was it?

Submitted by Sage at 2013-03-21 13:13:11 EDT (#)

Frank, are you serious?

Submitted by Frank at 2013-03-21 13:05:33 EDT (#)

Used to post on this site a long time ago. Wanted to see if anyone from back then was still on here. I remembered who sage was so I clicked her post. Small world.

Submitted by redskieslookfake at 2013-03-21 12:53:13 EDT (#)

are you being stalked by firemen Sage?

Submitted by Frank at 2013-03-21 12:40:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I worked that fire... Sorry we didn't get it out in time to save some of your stuff. I'm glad you and your dog made it out ok and I hope you can recoup at least some of what you lost.

Submitted by grÜeMaster emeritus and uberlord supreme at 2013-03-14 21:05:50 EDT (#)

fag below

Submitted by scourge at 2013-03-14 20:14:19 EDT (#)

in summary: 'i am temporarily inconvenienced by not having my baubles (though they will be replaced by my insurance and that of my building owner). this is the great tragedy of my life. please talk to the magic sky fairy for me.'

god damn I hate white people.

Submitted by grÜeMaster emeritus and uberlord supreme at 2013-03-14 18:50:23 EDT (#)

lol below

Submitted by LittleMonster at 2013-03-14 17:51:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Sorry about your home.

Submitted by no1hasdis at 2013-03-14 14:08:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Sorry to hear about your loss.

Fuck anyone criticizing your shopping choices, pity them if they have to go through the experience. I'm sure oyu have your reasons, and further, after a traumatic event like this, the most important thing you need is something to make you feel somewhat normal again, and to have some dignity. If you have the finacnial reserves, by all means you should be pruchasing something to make you feel like a normal human again.

You are lucky you made it out, what the fuck were you thinking trying to pack a bag, you silly clydesdale. In a fire, leave, immediately. Sadly people don't realize jsut how rapidly a building fire will spread, it's not like hollywood movies, wheere people are running in and out adn have time to crawl around under smoke looking for things. I've burned down buildings (controlled demolition by fire, not arson), and like to have people watch so they get a grasp of hows serious it is and how fast it is engulfed with jsut a small fire set in the right place. Never go back for anything with the exception of a another life.

Anyway, glad you're alright, and you got your pooch too. Best of luck.

Submitted by Average John at 2013-03-13 09:47:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Pay no mind to thorns, he's just pissy because he couldn't maintain a light jog on the treadmill for more than 20s.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2013-03-13 08:26:29 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

It's been 8 years...quit stalking me Oathmeal, ya fuckin' chickenshithead.

Submitted by pen_name at 2013-03-13 02:35:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2013-03-13 00:06:14 EDT (#)

Submitted by OathMeal at 2013-03-12 17:19:29 CDT (#)

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2013-03-12 10:28:53 EDT (#)

Also, thanks for the mental image. I can just picture the glistening ginger chest hair.


Someone is jelly of my masculinity.

Ha. I'd still play guitar in a dark alley with you jamming to Chicago style blues, though.

Submitted by OathMeal at 2013-03-12 22:31:22 EDT (#)

Fucking idiot below.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2013-03-12 21:52:44 EDT (#)

...Or more to the point, to you...

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2013-03-12 21:13:10 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Stay strong, girl. You're more than welcome to my couch here in Blacksburg, but the eight hours of commuting each day is gonna be hell on you. Chin up, and all that. Lemme know if I can do anything for you.

Submitted by orphelia at 2013-03-12 19:57:38 EDT (#)

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB at 2013-03-12 13:17:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

What can I say? (I usually give you unnecessary amounts of shit, but this seems pretty serious)
How about, "Wow. That sucks?"
Or "Hang In There?"
Maybe "Hope you had renters insurance?"

Look on the bright side, moving should be easier now.
This is why, despite the inkling I have that you're bald, I love you.

Submitted by OathMeal at 2013-03-12 18:19:29 EDT (#)

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2013-03-12 10:28:53 EDT (#)

Also, thanks for the mental image. I can just picture the glistening ginger chest hair.


Someone is jelly of my masculinity.

Submitted by Badlands at 2013-03-12 17:33:17 EDT (#)

It's cool that you are still alive. Anything else would be uncool. And you know, obvious cliches:

"This too shall pass"
"It's just stuff"
"Thouhgts and prayers, etc., etc.,"

and the old Ubersite standby:
"Skate it off, pussy."

Be well.

Submitted by Ducky at 2013-03-12 13:28:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Positive vibes girl.

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB at 2013-03-12 13:17:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

What can I say? (I usually give you unnecessary amounts of shit, but this seems pretty serious)
How about, "Wow. That sucks?"
Or "Hang In There?"
Maybe "Hope you had renters insurance?"

Look on the bright side, moving should be easier now.

Submitted by Sage at 2013-03-12 11:30:29 EDT (#)

PS Thorns...I don't really care what you have to say on this subject. The damage is, as they say, done. You have already made your point. Intent has little to do with it.

Submitted by Sage at 2013-03-12 11:28:46 EDT (#)

My teeth are indestructible.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2013-03-12 11:22:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

If Sage was "kicked in the teeth", they'd have to call in an entire squadron of dentists.

That Insurance bill would be huge.

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2013-03-12 10:28:53 EDT (#)

Submitted by Redskieslookfake at 2013-03-12 09:14:42 CDT (#)

Kicked in the teeth? How so Thorny?

It's not like you slept with Oathmeal...

I prefer to leave that all in the past where it belongs, and embrace the present/future, but if you care for a detailed explanation, feel free to email me at captainthorns.at.gmail.com.

Also, thanks for the mental image. I can just picture the glistening ginger chest hair.

Submitted by redskieslookfake at 2013-03-12 10:14:42 EDT (#)

Kicked in the teeth? How so Thorny?

It's not like you slept with Oathmeal



I think I just gave myself homophobia.

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2013-03-12 10:09:23 EDT (#)

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2013-03-11 20:12:32 CDT (#)
Rating: 2

It's obvious that some comments were deleted below, and it is uber after all, but it's a really shitty thing to do to kick someone while they are so obviously down. I understand the mentality someone might have about gaining perspective on the importance of specific material things, but we all have favorite things that we seek out of comfort, particularly in times of extreme stress. If it's so hard for a person to have a bit of compassion for someone who is obviously suffering, then you bet that person's life is sadder than yours, homeless or not.

Saccy, I wasn't trying to get a rise out of Sage, kick her while down, be a critical prick, or intentionally come across as judgmental. Darth_Famine is spot on in that it wasn't meant as a critique. Was just trying to better understand the situation and choices made on her part. Not my fault that it was misconstrued as being judging, nor did I demand answers. And I offered her my help and well wishes in a private email.

Again, Sage, I didn't intend to come across as being critical of your shopping choices, and I'm sorry for coming off that way, but it was truly not my intent.

As far as writing about things like this on Uber, well, again that's your choice, but I do honestly struggle more with understanding that one. Probably just because I've been kicked in the teeth one too many times in the past by deceptive and malicious Uberers, with real life impacts, and it's left me a bit jaded about Uber. But, if it's cathartic and helpful to you, then that's good.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2013-03-12 09:18:10 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

The important thing is that you and the pooch got out ok. You can always replace the stuff you lost with better stuff like Shlongy said.

and look at it like this...less shit to move.


pull up your carpet and lay these down underneath.

2x2 tongue and groove OSB with a plastic backer. it lifts the subfloor off the concrete about 3/4" allowing any water to flow under and drain off and allow air flow. Lowes and Depot sell it. The best $$ you will spend in the basement remodel.

Submitted by Perk "Grownman Perkiness" man at 2013-03-12 01:05:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Sage- Damn I feel for you... shit that is horrible. I learned on my "nomadic" trek that you should always buy a toothbrush, toothpaste and floss. You can go into the Jack in the box's and brush your teeth whenever open, also thank god I have a gym membership as I workout and shower on the same day, you can also if you have a car wash your clothes at the laundry mat.

This is horrible, shit. At least you have you're cat. I have nothing on me, as I live out of my car. It's a nice car so people don't know. I feel you on telling you're friends and them helping you, the best advice... use them as "little" as possible and get on you're own to "feet at once"... all friends like to help.. but as soon as it goes from a couple of days to weeks... even Mother Teresa would get annoyed... I don't know what else to say... I don't know you personally (kinda from uber) you can send me a message on this post, and I'll talk to you, and hopefully comfort yah.

haha, you're a pretty girl, so I don't think the streets are for you. (haha get an apartment asap) but take this time for "clarity" I mean you could have "died".., maybe something isn't right... I've chosen to stay homeless (despite protest of family, friends that know) until I figure out what lead me to this situation... so I have chosen to live this status for a bit longer (2 more weeks) and when I'm done, be fiscally responsible, be a better friend, better son, better everything... and I finally found out why I wouldn't go home.. and what I truly want to do with my "career" and why I would rather be "Homeless out here, then in a nice bed and house back home" as my sister asked me... it was simple... I won't give up on my dreams... and because of both these quotes..

" everyone takes a beating sometimes"-Goodfella's

"Every dog has his day..."- Don't know...

But I feel my day is coming... and soon... I just need to learn to survive alone.. on my own... if I have a family, I have to protect them fiscally, physically, and be there Knight... I can't be a Knight if I haven't gone through trials and tribulations... this is just my latest one.. Be strong Sage.

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2013-03-11 21:12:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I was going to say "I can't imagine" but having watched my kitchen burn down as a kid (luckily that was the only real damage), I imagine this too often and I am so, so sorry you're going through all this. A family friend with 2 kids lost her home and one of their dogs a couple of months ago and it's been a nightmare for her. It's obvious that some comments were deleted below, and it is uber after all, but it's a really shitty thing to do to kick someone while they are so obviously down. I understand the mentality someone might have about gaining perspective on the importance of specific material things, but we all have favorite things that we seek out of comfort, particularly in times of extreme stress. If it's so hard for a person to have a bit of compassion for someone who is obviously suffering, then you bet that person's life is sadder than yours, homeless or not. I hope you get things sorted soon. I'm glad you got your dog and that at least timing wise, you will have a new roof over your head very soon.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2013-03-11 21:10:28 EDT (#)

I can relate, too. I got a sliver in my pinkie tonnight and it absolutely ruined my entire dessert. I tried not to let it impact the massage and happy ending that I was scheduled to receive right after dinner.

Submitted by McBain at 2013-03-11 21:00:26 EDT (#)

It's hard to know whether anything on Uber is real or BS anymore, but if this happened to me, I definitely still wouldn't wanna talk shit.

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2013-03-11 20:32:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Damn, girl. Just, damn. Best of luck to you.

Submitted by Sage at 2013-03-11 20:22:05 EDT (#)

Flack, your situation sucks too. A finished basement being ruined by water is often not covered by insurance (hopefully yours was) so you lost stuff too. No need to go fuck yourself. Three words: Febreze that shit.

Submitted by Sage at 2013-03-11 20:20:16 EDT (#)

You are definitely judging me by criticizing me for going to VS or The Limited (Target and H&M were in those shopping trips too mind you) instead of Goodwill or Walmart.

You're criticizing me for "spending any amount of time writing about it on Uber"...I couldn't fucking sleep last night. I write to vent (which I mentioned above) and to get things off my chest. It is cathartic to put stuff in black & white...helps me process what is actually happening.

Fuck, I don't know why I am even explaining myself to you. Just because other people you know would choose to do things one way doesn't mean I have to do things that way, or that anyone/everyone in my situation should do it that way. I don't need to justify my purchases to anyone except my insurance company and they haven't batted an eyelash at any of it. I told you before I didn't care to hear anymore thoughts from you on this subject.

Your "apologizing for offending" me is negated when it is couched in more judgment. Therefore, I don't accept your apology.

Submitted by Flack at 2013-03-11 17:46:54 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Well that certainly sucks.

My sump pump overflowed in my (finished) basement and I had to clean it up by myself with a wet dry vac, a bissel, and some dehydrate salts. Its still smells down there. If that makes you feel any better....


Okay, off to go fuck myself commencing in 3,2,1.....

Submitted by Sage at 2013-03-11 17:16:03 EDT (#)

Steak - Actually that sounds like fun!

D_F: I will mail you.

Submitted by ilikesteak at 2013-03-11 15:40:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I'd offer you a lapdance to express my condolences, but you're a little too far away right now.

I'll be in DC during spring break, and I'll be glad to take a detour and get you drunk if you're up for it. We can drink rum and ginger ale while wearing fancy hats.

Submitted by Darth_Famine at 2013-03-11 14:33:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Shoot me an email and i'll give you some more details. but pretty much anything you can think of.

Submitted by Sage at 2013-03-11 14:23:27 EDT (#)

Darth Famine - what kind of appliances are you speaking of? Since I was in (and am moving to) an apartment, I don't need major appliances like washer/dryer/dishwasher/refrigerator etc, but I do need small appliances like blender, microwave, toaster, toaster oven, coffee maker (I had a Keurig), etc...

Yozz - I am definitely putting together a bug-out bag.

Annnnd this alcohol has me about ready to pass out. Would it be weird if I passed out in my car? Prob not. I can't drive. I am so sleepy. Must. Obtain. Coffee.

Submitted by Sage at 2013-03-11 14:11:46 EDT (#)

LOL at below. I fell asleep fast on Saturday...when I took an Ambien. I can really see myself becoming dependent on pills at this point...I slept *maybe* 1.5 hours last night (or this morning depending on how you look at it). I am at a Mexican restaurant right now on my second margarita. It's not so bad making my insurance claim list with tequila to keep me company.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2013-03-11 13:39:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

This blows. I would lose my shit if all of my shit got lost.

Don't just replace your stuff when you start receiving Insurance funds: Buy even BETTER stuff. That's what Insurance is for. It's not like our rates on any types of Insurance have ever gone down in the 30+ years that I've been feeding them scratch and never filing a claim.

With that said, I do have an empty bed that you could use short-term; And by empty I mean "the space next to me, my dog, my erection and Mrs. Shlongy".

No worries...she falls asleep fast.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2013-03-11 13:24:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

What a fukker-row. This has to be one of the most traumatic events ever. Thinking of you and Hazel and sending positive love ....

I am proud of you for having the grit to get out of there alive...

Keep us posted.

Submitted by Yozz at 2013-03-11 12:42:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Really sorry to hear that.

Next time (and let this be a lesson to the rest of you), always have a bug out bag.


Submitted by OathMeal at 2013-03-11 12:05:18 EDT (#)

At least you can save money by just buying a replacement loofah you can also use to brush your...

Never mind I won't go there.

Sorry all your shit burned.

Submitted by Sage at 2013-03-11 12:00:23 EDT (#)

Ps Oathy, I don't use the apricot scrub. I use a prescription retinol and a Clarisonic, thankyouverymuch. As it were, I still haven't bought a replacement loofah :(

Submitted by Sage at 2013-03-11 11:59:07 EDT (#)

Thanks for the well wishes, everyone.

Submitted by Sage at 2013-03-11 11:56:50 EDT (#)


Submitted by Sage at 2013-03-11 11:56:25 EDT (#)

Oath, I thought I had enough time to pak an overnight bag as there wasn't much visible smoke in my living room. Obviously as soon as I realized the situation I ended up with nothing.

Submitted by OathMeal at 2013-03-11 11:52:12 EDT (#)

"I had Hazel in my arms already, and I ran to the bathroom to grab some essentials."

Right, because in the event of a fire, you absolutely must save your apricot facial scrub and favorite loofah.

Submitted by Anglophile at 2013-03-11 10:55:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I'm sorry to hear about all this, and I'm glad you and Hazel are OK. Replace the things you had with the things YOU want. You don't need to be chastised for wanting your life back as it was, and putting things back as they were will be a huge help in getting you through this bad time.

Kudos to the stores that were nice enough to help you. Best wishes to you, and it sounds like you are strong enough to get through this and go on. Good luck.

Submitted by Darth_Famine at 2013-03-11 10:55:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I don't think it was meant as a critique. If you need appliances lemme know, I can get good rates and even have em delivered.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2013-03-11 10:55:08 EDT (#)

Way to be alive at the end. Pay no attention to CT. He'd certainly want a replacement BMW if someone stole his even though Hyundai's are cheaper.

Get a copy of the Fire Marshall's report in a few weeks when it's ready. If it shows that the fire spread from the chimney to the chase to the the attic as appears to be a possibility from the photo and your description, you and your InsCo can probably sue the apartment complex for what losses your insurance doesn't cover.

*positive waves*

Submitted by Sage at 2013-03-11 09:53:02 EDT (#)

Below is exactly the thought process that I hate. I wore Victoria's Secret pretty much exclusively. I bought the vast majority of my former work wardrobe at Bebe. For my "everyday" clothes (jeans, pants, shirts etc), I went to Target and H&M.

Frankly I resent having to explain why I chose certain stores to buy clothing and necessities. But since you asked, The Limited has work pants that fit me perfectly right now. In other words, I don't have to buy them and then go get them hemmed (I am 5'2"). Additionally, they had a sale going on where it was buy one pair of pants, get one free. Sweaters were $12. I don't think I am being frivolous here and am pretty pissed at that mentality.

All of a sudden now since I am in this situation, I am judged if I want WHAT I HAD back, which is beyond shitty. I don't care to hear an explanation of why you think that way, Thorns, but let me tell you to please fuck off if you have anything further of that nature to tell me. A lecture is really not what I want/need to hear right now.

Submitted by orphelia at 2013-03-11 09:19:10 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Don't be surprised at the kindness of strangers. I've recently found the most sympathetic of ears are those who work for big corporations.
You may have lost everything you own - and that's not to be taken lightly because everything has a memory - but you still have your friends and family and your life.
A lucky escape.
You will bounce back it might just take time.
Chin up chick. Sensing you good vines and love and bestest of wishes. Xx

Submitted by redskieslookfake at 2013-03-11 08:08:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Chin up - it's only things. They can all be replaced!

Submitted by Darth_Famine at 2013-03-11 07:19:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


I will now attempt to cheer you up in true uber fashion

Model the new underwear you bought!


seriously tho good you are ok.

Submitted by Earth Collapse at 2013-03-11 04:51:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I can't imagine! Though, material things will be replaced. The more important thing is that you are alive.

Submitted by Sage at 2013-03-11 04:34:48 EDT (#)


Apparently like 5 min after I evacuated, the roof collapsed. Thank God I didn't pack that overnight bag.

I wore my extra loose pants for nothing. Nothing!

-- Homer Simpson
New Kid on the Block