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ATTN: Aussies - First Test

Submitted by apollo88 at 2013-07-10 23:08:13 EDT
Rating: 0.0 on 6 ratings (32 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Wow. What a first day.

Fizzled a little at the end with you cunts digging in and it remains to be seen what real batting depth you have and how you'll handle the further deteriorating pitch but that last session kept you very much level in the match in my amazingly important opinion.

England all out for mid two hundreds, won the toss too.

I'll be up at 04:30 to watch a few hours before work, then VPN to Sky Go from 'work' on the old iPad, all sneaky like.

Will it be a couple of early wickets, skittle for 200 with a bowling contest to finish it all off? I think batting will be a weakness for both sides this series, bowlers very much on top.

And England have the better bowlers.

3-1 prediction.



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Submitted by fuck you at 2016-12-16 09:50:42 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by beeltea at 2013-08-24 00:45:39 EDT (#)

Plus for two Australians. They get it. The British don't. That evens out to a fuck you.

Submitted by apollo88 at 2013-07-19 21:37:50 EDT (#)

Oathmeal's pubes?

I bet he saves. Fully clean. Ginger freckled smooth ballsack.

That's what I reckon.

Do you really come to Houston on business travel Sage? What part of town do you visit? There's so many horses here in Texas that I've not spotted you.

Submitted by Director at 2013-07-19 15:53:28 EDT (#)

If there's one thing Jeanneee knows about, it's.....

Nah. Never mind.

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2013-07-19 14:53:18 EDT (#)

If there's one thing Director knows about, it's "serious loot."

Submitted by apollo88 at 2013-07-19 14:41:23 EDT (#)

hhaah lol

Submitted by Director at 2013-07-19 14:07:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Fuck her, dude. Fuck horse-face. My god. Think of children you could have! You two would create an entire new species of huge-headed bi-pedal horse-faced, talking beings!


Think of the money you could get from the talk show circuit! Or if nothing else, the desperate pleas for money from strangers to help the little filly through the horrific birthing process.

Wow. I smell some serious loot in all this....

Submitted by apollo88 at 2013-07-19 11:01:01 EDT (#)


Submitted by Sage at 2013-07-18 08:37:34 EDT (#)

Wait, you're in fucking Houston? I go there all the time for work. We should *totes* meet up. Seriously.

Submitted by apollo88 at 2013-07-17 11:33:30 EDT (#)

Do you really need a job?


What can you do?

Are you still in Texas? I can't be arsed reading your comments or posts to find out.

Submitted by Director at 2013-07-14 09:44:01 EDT (#)

"For yanks...."

Sigh. I've told you repeatedly during some of our amazing love making sessions that no American cares a wit about your "sports." Why don't you ever listen to me?

I'm beginning to think you only keep me around for my body.


Submitted by apollo88 at 2013-07-14 09:12:41 EDT (#)

Amazing test match. Best ever?

Aus need 20 to win, England need one wicket to win.

My god!

For yanks, its like one out needed in final innings with 2 runs needed to win and bases loaded.

Submitted by apollo88 at 2013-07-12 12:42:51 EDT (#)

THis is amazing stuff, well played Broad. Would Ricky Cunting have walked? Would he fuck.

Submitted by Director at 2013-07-12 10:06:16 EDT (#)

Nah. I never slammed anyone from Ubersite. Came close a couple of times but this site never once got me any pootnanny.

Cock, on the other hand. Wow I got lots of dick from this site. Yummy yummy yummy.

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2013-07-12 08:10:37 EDT (#)


Submitted by Oathmeal's Mom at 2013-07-11 21:34:09 EDT (#)

My son's slampig below.

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2013-07-11 18:31:12 EDT (#)

I meant "Oathmeal's mom" referring to you as "her" son.

Submitted by Director at 2013-07-11 18:24:05 EDT (#)

What's a fail, sugarmuffin? My love for big-head? Someone sadly claiming to be both oathmeal AND my mother? Failed internet relationships involving everyone present? WHAT IS FAIL!?!?


Submitted by Fucking foul at 2013-07-11 17:32:09 EDT (#)


Submitted by Oathmeal's Mom at 2013-07-11 17:17:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

My son (and reason for my suicide) below.

Submitted by Director at 2013-07-11 17:02:25 EDT (#)

Jaime? It's me. Ebola. Your long lost lover. I just want to say that I miss you, and I'm sorry things didn't work out like you'd hoped. I've had some time to think, though, and get my mind clear, and I'd like you to know that I'm willing to try again, as long as you can prove you've got your temper under control. You know I hate violence, and I especially hate black eyes. :-(

Call me. I'll come to Houston and we can talk. Also, I need a job. Can you get me a job with your oil buddies down there? I'll clean, cook, give head...whatever those bigshots want. Look forward to hearing from you, sweetie. xoxoxoxoxo.

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2013-07-11 16:43:10 EDT (#)

Kewl, thanks

Submitted by grÜeMaster emeritus and uberlord supreme at 2013-07-11 16:11:56 EDT (#)

a regular rim job is much smaller in scope

a "pacific" rim job is word play; the implication being his ass is bigger than your car

i also added pedophilia flavored with homosexuality for a delightfully insulting stew

to answer your next question, the previous sentence also alludes to skrappy's obesity

let me know if you need anything else explained. i'm happy to oblige as the additional attention called to skrappy's weight is always appreciated.

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2013-07-11 15:21:03 EDT (#)

What does the one have to do with the other? Like if skrappy were skinny he'd be able to give himself a rim job? Or if he were skinny, the neighbor boy would be willing to do it for free? Or if he were skinny, he wouldn't like rim jobs as much? Does the "pacific" modifier make it make sense somehow? SO MANY QUESTIONS.

Submitted by grÜeMaster emeritus and uberlord supreme at 2013-07-11 13:38:34 EDT (#)

skrappy's so fat he paid the neighbor boy to give him a pacific rim job

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2013-07-11 13:21:18 EDT (#)

Unrelated: Next time you see the trailer for "Pacific Rim" where the mechanoids are destroying the text of the reviews, look at the one that reads "You will be blown away!" and read what it says after the mechanoid walks through it.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2013-07-11 12:33:12 EDT (#)
Rating: -2


Submitted by Fucking foul at 2013-07-11 12:29:38 EDT (#)



Submitted by FALLEN at 2013-07-11 07:57:05 EDT (#)

Submitted by Oathmeal's Mom at 2013-07-11 00:19:15 EDT (#)

I am you, ftr.

Submitted by DonovanMD at 2013-07-11 00:15:18 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Don't bother perfectly summarizes my thoughts on cricket.

Submitted by apollo88 at 2013-07-10 23:09:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

And to the top of most heated we go with all five ATTN: Aussies posts for 2013. Should solidify my MVA position with 2k+ hits.


Plus two on my own post, you damn right I did.

D'oh! English! Who needs that? I'm never going to England. Come on,
let's smoke.

-- Homer Simpson, talking Barney into cutting class
The Way We Was