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Everything seems to go from Honey to Vinegar.
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Give in to the evil. Become the dire. Get your ghoul on. It's grÜeBERfest 2013!

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2013-09-27 19:04:06 EDT
Rating: 1.33 on 6 ratings (11 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Thunder rolls in the distance and a chill wind blows through the desolate, decaying village. The trees rustle and a few leaves fall. Carrion crows and ravens sit in the branches, aware that the fateful hour approaches. They know they must be ready to take advantage of any opportunity to feast, before the vultures arrive to feed.

On a hill at the outskirts of the cluster of old wooden houses and shops, surrounded by a long-neglected five-sided low stone wall, lies a cemetery. At the center, set apart from all the other plaques and markers, is a single grave. As the appointed hour approaches, the birds leave their storm roosts as one, frightened by the sudden noisy toppling of that lonely headstone. The ground convulses and parts, and long sodden fingers emerge, tatters of flesh clinging to the stained bones. Arms and a hooded skull rise into view, and heavy fog gathers inside the stone wall as at last the ghoul stands aside the hole. Gruemaster!

Slowly he raises his arms wide apart and emits a low, terrible sound, a call to those of his kind, summoning those who can still heed to join him. Even knowing it is his end, he beckons all ghouls, ghosts, goblins, monsters, demons, werebeasts, and all manner of beings that exist just outside the realm of normal sight to come to participate in that unholiest of rituals, the contest to crown the next Master of Grue!

It's on folks! If you're in, and you know you want to be in, just say so in the reviews by around dawn 10/1. I'll set up a bracket and post it on 10/1, and we'll go from there. First stories due after 10/1 and by 10/7, winner to be announced on 10/31. The usual completely arbitrary scoring method will be applied, and I, your quasi-humble Gruemaster will rate only in case of a tie.


WritemeastoryorIlleatyoursoul.jpg
WritemeastoryorIlleatyoursoul.jpg


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Submitted by The_Cyst_Master at 2013-10-11 18:40:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Drippy. Just the way I like it.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2013-09-30 08:35:59 EDT (#)

Submitted by RoadSong at 2013-09-28 16:06:10 EDT (#)
...
Excellent! Which reminds me, you STILL haven't collected the prize from grÜeBERfest 2012!
-----
Truedat - I am gruberfestually prizarially failtasmagorical. I assume, though, that you haven't had it all ready to go and have been dragging it around with you for 11 months.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2013-09-30 08:25:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

lets see if I can wring out any more creativity.

I'm in.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2013-09-28 19:39:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You can all just bow down and hand the title to me now. I'm in. I have nothing to drop me out of it this year. My asshole roommate can't Internet Nazi me anymore.

Little paranoid bitch. 25 Tb of Hustler porn and he gets all bent out of shape about a little letter from our ISP. I was "renting" them, goddamnit. And those FBI guys were NOT that intimidating, you spineless pussy.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2013-09-28 16:06:10 EDT (#)

But if you must have a trophy, I'll figure something out that is both relevant to the contest and too embarrassingly tasteless to display proudly.


Excellent! Which reminds me, you STILL haven't collected the prize from grÜeBERfest 2012!

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2013-09-28 10:57:04 EDT (#)

Prize? The prize in grÜeBERfest is that you get to wander the earth as Gruemaster for a year and then host the next grÜeBERfest. But if you must have a trophy, I'll figure something out that is both relevant to the contest and too embarrassingly tasteless to display proudly. Whatever it end up being, the winner gets it.


Submitted by Shlongy at 2013-09-28 10:49:25 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Shlongy is in.

Submitted by OathMeal at 2013-09-27 22:51:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Sure! xD

Submitted by RoadSong at 2013-09-27 21:54:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

This monster is in, and I'm bringing the werebeast..

Submitted by Doodles at 2013-09-27 19:28:22 EDT (#)

Eh, I'm in.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2013-09-27 19:02:35 EDT (#)

Pre-emptive "Fuck off with your ‘no one is left to be in your stupid contest’ negative waves, Moriarity." You saw the ‘desolate, decaying village’ bit in the post, so it’s not like you’re saying anything will happen that I don’t already hope won’t happen. If one person enters, then that person wins.


Lenny: Yeah, he got injured on the job and they sent him home with
pay. Pfft. It's like a lottery that rewards stupidity.

Homer: Stupidity, eh?

King-Size Homer