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The Technicolor ToadFrog Tale

Submitted by RoadSong at 2014-03-09 16:22:04 EDT
Rating: 2.0 on 4 ratings (10 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

When I was a young girl with flowers in my hair, I was walking the dry riverbed in San Bernardino county. Walked for miles with wind gentle on my skin, the sand under my feet and the sweet smell of sage in the powderblue afternoon light. Wait, what is that???

HUGE HUNKA TOADFROG....right there on the trail where my feet ought to be. Never been fond of frogs or toads, but I was curious. I bent down to see him better and I noticed his buggy KNOWING eyes looking right into my dreamy stoned eyes. {I TOLD you I was a young girl with flowers in my hair}!

I picked him up gently and he started trying to escape by pushing my fingers, prying my fingers from his round body and pleading in a shrill-scratchy voice "Put me down let me go ....PLEEZE let me go"! Sounded real frantic he did. Softly I said to him "Fear not, no harm will come to you, I only want to see you closer".

"OH LET ME GO" he says as he tries to pry my fingers away with his oddly shaped toadiefingers.

"Alright" I said, and when I bent down to release him where I had found him, {or where HE had found me}, that toadfrog started to LAUGH and chortle with glee! Then he peed all over my hands as I set him free!

WELL! I wiped what I thought was toadfrog pee off on my gauzygown.

Breeze blows strands of hair in my eyes and as I brush it back off my face with my peepee hands, I notice that there is a burning sensation transferred to my eyes from my hands. Walk more, thirsty now, wipe hand across mouth.

Where am I
Who am I

As the auras begin to warp and weave themselves into what was left of my mind I curl into fetal under desert moon. I didn't come out anytime soon. Five days wandered girl knew not where, desert spit me out right there, where that HUGE HUNKA TOADFROG laughed with glee as he wet on me!!

Friends much relieved asking "Girl where HAVE you been?" And "Why is there dirt all over your skin?"

They also remarked where were my clothes, and is that a flower half up your nose? All I could do was shrug and say I was fine, things were starting to have a more normal shine.

Took a bath, put on some clothes.

Forgot all about this curious incident. Years later I saw an article in the "Union Democrat" newspaper from Sonora California. The headlines screamed - "TOAD LICKERS Busted At Nature Center", and went on to describe a particular species of toad, indigenous to southern California (San Bernardino county} actually, that when frightened secretes a potent hallucinogen from it's skin!!!

This is when I remember that softsummer endlesslove time of my life and the experience there on that sandy path, when the magical desert pulled me in and gave me a message to recall many years after.

Know the creatures that share your sphere, the technicolor toadfrog lives here!

Psychoactive toad is a name used for toads from which psychoactive substances from the family of bufotoxins can be derived. The skin and venom of Bufo alvarius (Colorado River toad or Sonoran Desert toad) contain 5-MeO-DMT and bufotenin.

Other species contain only bufotenin. 5-MeO-DMT and bufotenin both belong to the family of hallucinogenic tryptamines.
Due to these substances the skin or venom of the toads may produce psychoactive effects and are used for recreational purposes.

Well who knew!

People Are Strange The Doors.

Mr. Froggy Went A Courtin



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Submitted by RoadSong at 2014-05-02 02:58:31 EDT (#)

Ello there TigerLilly! Long time no see. How about a post?

Submitted by TigerLilly at 2014-04-30 00:57:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

So I started rating this and my comment was going to be "didn't read this but +2 for the effort." Then I went back and actually read it. Although it hasn't been the best thing I've read on uber, I haven't been around in months and I give you props for the effort, time and story.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2014-03-13 12:21:09 EDT (#)

I removed part of this post and am putting it here in comments. It just didn't work for me as part of my tale. Also please note that I did not lick a toad. I picked one up to look at it and toad juice got on my hands. This happened to me when I was a teen and I had never heard anything about toads getting people high.

PETA weighs in.

Thursday October 26 4:09 PM EDT
"Got Acid?" PETA Slams Toad Lickers
By Brian Briggs

Norfolk, VA - On the heels of their "Got Beer?" program which discouraged the use of dairy products, PETA announced today their new "Got Acid?" campaign. PETA hopes to slow the resurgent popularity of licking toads for their hallucinogenic properties.

No Toad Licking A PETA spokeswoman went on to explain that toad licking is often traumatic, harmful, and sometimes fatal---For the toads. "Instead we find LSD is a much better animal free alternative. We know the toad licking lobby is powerful, but the message needs to be heard."

PETA has been setting up booths on college campuses nationwide from which they distribute informational pamphlets and samples of acid. "We put the LSD on these little toady stickers. Now you can lick the toad without harming an animal. Isn't that just adorable," said PETA volunteer Yolanda Wright. The pamphlets encourage people to find out the position of both local and national candidates on toad licking before casting their ballot in November.

From the swamps of south Florida, toad licker Francis Franklin said, "PETA is spreading more lies. Toad licking lets people commune with nature, and when done properly doesn't harm the toad. LSD just doesn't give as intense hallucinations as toad licking. PETA can take my toad away when they tear it from my cold dead lips."

Franklin proposes more education on the proper techniques of toad licking, instead of an outright ban. "We must get to children early because bad habits are hard to break."

Submitted by FALLEN at 2014-03-11 08:28:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

+2 technotoadfrog

Submitted by RoadSong at 2014-03-10 19:06:32 EDT (#)

There are many places that dine on frogs or toads or whatever. Nasty but true. How is anything ever discovered? Who was the first person who decided to milk a cow or eat an egg? Caviar! Blood and milk like the Masai? Bar-B-Que donkey?

Submitted by DaBeast at 2014-03-10 17:54:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I don't care about who first thought of licking a toad. I wanna know what dumbfuck first thought that putting one anywhere near his mouth was an ok idea.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2014-03-10 16:22:30 EDT (#)

Let me say that I was accidentally almost fatally poisoned. I had not heard of this toad, even tho this happened in the land of my birth. I was on a hike, a talking toad almost did me in! One does not usually come out of the desert alive under these circumstances.

Submitted by JonnyX at 2014-03-10 13:14:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by RoadSong at 2014-03-10 10:38:54 EDT (#)

Some half human cave dweller could have been trying to eat one?
The damn toad could have engaged some person in conversation as that person walked along a desert path.
Beer hadn't been invented yet?

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2014-03-10 07:46:10 EDT (#)

So, who was the first person to decide that licking a toad might be a good idea, and just what part of licking a toad did they think was the good part of that idea?

Sir, I must strongly advise you, do not purchase this. Behind
every wish lurks grave misfortune. I, myself, was one
president of Algeria.

Homer: C'mon, pal, I don't want to hear your life story! Paw me.

Treehouse of Horror II