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Chicken Little Was RIGHT

Submitted by RoadSong at 2014-05-22 00:03:09 EDT
Rating: 2.0 on 3 ratings (12 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

A New Meteor Shower in May? Models also show there may be plenty of fireballs associated with this debris stream too.

May 6, 2014: The head of NASA's Meteoroid Environment Office, Dr. Bill Cooke, often lets cameras do his sky watching for him. He and his colleagues operate a nationwide network of automated fireball observatories that capture anything that burns into Earth’s atmosphere. On the morning of May 24th, however, he plans to go out in person. "There could be a new meteor shower, and I want to see it nude, smoking a doobie, and with my own eyes," says Cooke.

The shower is the May Camelopardalids, caused by dust from periodic comet 209P/LINEAR. No one has ever seen it before and it is thought to be comprised entirely of god farts. Comet 209P/LINEAR was discovered by the Lincoln Near-Earth Asteroid Research project, a cooperative effort of NASA, the Massachusetts Institute of Technology Lincoln Laboratory, the US Air Force, and Gandolf the Great during a vision.

Earth is due for an encounter with fart debris from Comet 209P/LINEAR. Streams of gaseous dust pooted by the comet mainly back in the 1800s will cross Earth's orbit on May 24, 2014. The result, they said, could be a significant meteor OUTBURST. No one is sure how much debris is waiting. As a result of the uncertainty, "there could be a great meteor storm—or a complete stinking turd."

The best time to look is on May 24th or between 2 and 4 o'clock in the morning Eastern Daylight Time when you get up to pee and scratch the nutz.

Because this is a new meteor shower, surprises are possible. Outbursts and strange smells could occur hours before or after the forecasted peak.

Fukkin BALLS OF FIRE I TELL YOU!

Credits:Author: Dr. Tony Phillips | Production editor: Dr. Tony Phillips | Credit: Science@NASA
http://science.nasa.gov/science-news/science-at-nasa/2014/06may_newshower/



THE CHICKEN WAS RIGHT!!!

The Story of Chicken Little
A story for teaching courage and avoiding unwanted lube.


Don't be a chicken little. Don't be afraid. The sky is not falling.

Characters

Narrator
Chicken Little
Henny Penny
Ducky Lucky
Goosey Loosey and his goat
Turkey Lurkey
Roady Toady
Villain:Foxy Loxy

Narrator:Chicken Little was in the woods one day when an acorn fell on her head. It scared her so much she trembled all over. She shook so hard, half her tail feathers fell out, it was not attractive to anyone except Goosey Loosey who later looked at the chicken in a new way.

Chicken Little:"Help! Help! The sky is falling! I have to go tell the king!"

Narrator:So she ran in great fright to tell the king and to ask if she could hide under his royal bouncing bed. Along the way she met Henny Penny.

Henny Penny:"Where are you going, Chicken Little?"

Chicken Little:"Oh, help! The sky is falling!"

Henny Penny:"How do you know?"

Chicken Little:"I saw it with my own eyes, and heard it with my own ears, and part of it fell on my head!"

Henny Penny:This is terrible, just terrible, we'd better hurry up! Let me get my stash of pennies in case we see Joe the grinder."

Narrator:So they both ran away as fast as they could. Soon they met Ducky Lucky.

Ducky Lucky:"Where are you going, Chicken Little and Henny Penny?"

Chicken Little & Henny Penny:"The sky is falling! The sky is falling! We're going to tell the king!"

Ducky Lucky:"How do you know? I am the smartest fowl here and I demand proof!"

Chicken Little:"I saw it with my own eyes, and heard it with my own ears, and part of it fell on my head."

Ducky Lucky:"Oh dear, oh dear! Let me get my kayak and paddle!"

Narrator:So they all ran down the road as fast as they could. Soon they met Goosey Loosey walking down the roadside.

Goosey Loosey:"Hello there. Where are you all going in such a hurry?"

Chicken Little:"We're running for our lives!"

Henny Penny:"The sky is falling farts!"

Ducky Lucky:"And we're running to tell the king to stop his fiddling and get to paddling!"

Goosey Loosey:"How do you know the sky is falling?"

Chicken Little:"I saw it with my own eyes, and heard it with my own ears, and part of it fell on my head!"

Goosey Loosey:"Goodness! Then I'd better run with you, let me get my lube, the goat, and the rubber sheet."

Narrator:And they all ran in great fright across a field. Before long they met Turkey Lurkey strutting back and forth showing off his cock..

Turkey Lurkey:"Hello there, Chicken Little, Henny Penny, Ducky Lucky, and Goosey Loosey. Where are you all going in such a hurry?"

Chicken Little:"Help! Help!"

Henny Penny: "Goosey is hot on my trail and I am not into him and his stupid strawberry-flavored lube!".

Ducky Lucky: "We're paddling for our lives, Goosey I will bash you with this paddle if you even look my way!"

Along the way they met Roady Toady:"Help! Help! The sky is falling! Goodness! Then I'd better run with you! I have to go tell Uber, they will know what to do! The king is pretty much a lop dik fluffernutter!"

Goosey Loosey:"And we're running to tell the king who will pay no attention because he is diddling a trio of queens!"

Turkey Lurkey:"How do you know he is diddling a trio of queens?"

Chicken Little:"I saw it with my own eyes, and heard it with my own ears, RoadSong proclaimed it, and one of the queens fell on my head!"

Turkey Lurkey:"Oh dear! I always suspected the sky would fall someday. I'd better run with you, let me get my baster."

Roady Toady:"Get the fuk away from me with that baster you Turkey!"

Narrator:So they ran with all their might, until they met Foxy Loxy who was leaning against a tree wearing his pimp hat and picking his gleaming white fangs with the tip of his switch blade and playing pocket pool in a distracted manner..

Foxy Loxy:"Well, well. Where are you rushing on such a fine day?"

Chicken Little, Henny Penny, Ducky Lucky, Goosey Loosey, Turkey Lurkey, Roady Toady (together) "Help! Help!" It's not a fine day at all. The sky is falling, and we're running to tell the king who will pay no attention because he is diddling a trio of queens and a post-op tranny!"

Foxy Loxy:"How do you know the sky is falling?

Chicken Little:"I saw it with my own eyes, and heard it with my own ears, and RoadSong proclaimed it!

Foxy Loxy:"I see. Well then, follow me and give me that goat and the rubber sheet, and I'll show you the way to the king."

Narrator:So Foxy Loxy led Chicken Little, Henny Penny, Ducky Lucky, Goosey Loosey, Turkey Lurkey and Roady Toady across a field and through the woods. He led them straight to his den where he kept his cuffs, shackles, skewers, and his plucker. He made the mistake of not searching his victims before he cuffed and stuffed, and with one whickersnicker of Roady Toadys Bowie, he was slitted splitted and spitted.

We dined on Barbequed fox and sucked on his delicious bones covered in Sweet Baby Ray sauce. Gooseys goat made a fine stew and strange brew and we dined till the sky got dark. We all sprawled on the lawn and smoked the good herb and drank more brew, and stared at the glorious skyshow till dawn.

It was a jolly good show, but we all had to avoid looking at the bald ass end of the chicken, except for Goosey Loosey who kept creeping closer with his lube...

Chicken Little Walt Disney 1943 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vnp4kj5lLOU


~NEVER TRUST A FOX~ they taste like a stringy boiled squirrel

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Submitted by RoadSong at 2014-07-11 18:02:12 EDT (#)

Gotta have a bit of fun now and then...

Submitted by Professional_Peon at 2014-07-11 17:14:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

"You're all going to die down here"

At least there was some fun involved ;)

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB at 2014-05-23 20:11:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Uranus is green and it has rings around it.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2014-05-22 13:58:11 EDT (#)

"...LP delivery trucks run on LP..."


*note to self, get bigger tanks!

I use propane here to heat water. Cooking and heating the house is done with mountains of firewood.


The rule of Three.
If you must keep your pants on:
1.Wear a belt
2.Keep fly zipped
3.Wear suspenders

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2014-05-22 13:25:52 EDT (#)

Good on ya. I'm an Eagle Scout myself. Be Prepared is the motto there too, thus the 500 gallons of LP fuel and a 16kW LP-driven generator out back of my house. Thing about LP is that the LP delivery trucks run on LP, so even if the electric is out they can still come out and refill my tank if need be. Bring on the End Of Days, sez I - I'll be grillin'.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2014-05-22 12:11:05 EDT (#)

If the power goes out here, gasoline is not available at either of the two gas stations. IF the power outage lasted days or weeks, there would be no supplies of any kind being trucked up the mountain. Big trouble.

I was a Girl Scout. "Be Prepared" was the motto.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2014-05-22 10:30:45 EDT (#)

Mountain House indeed. I've got a few of their products stashed away in the pantry. Not for the zombie apocalypse or the impact of a planet-busting comet or anything like that, just for hurricane-related shortages.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2014-05-22 10:17:24 EDT (#)

Contact high Fallen, contact high...

Submitted by RoadSong at 2014-05-22 10:16:41 EDT (#)


Meteors are cool but comets can fuck every ones shit up for buku years.


Yes, the big black rock zooming this way unseen and unknown...

Submitted by RoadSong at 2014-05-22 10:11:56 EDT (#)

".., have a plan for the aftermath provided you survive. "

Agreed. You have heard of the crazy cat lady? I am the crazed Mountain House Freeze Dried food lady. There are so many cases here that I am having to put it in it's own building. It is not me that I am concerned about. I feel responsible for others.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2014-05-22 08:15:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I always feel a little stoned after reading a RoadSong post.

It's fantastic

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2014-05-22 07:34:40 EDT (#)

Why worry about that over which you have no control? Acknowledge the possibility of global destruction and subsequent zombification of most of the remaining population, have a plan for the aftermath provided you survive.

Also: "beaucoup", below.


I couldn't very well chop your hand off and bring it to the store,
could I?

-- Homer Simpson
Life on the Fast Lane