login / register
It's funny how anything you don't want to believe is a lie, despite all the evidence otherwise.
Welcome to Ubersite!

This is not the the "Best of Jack White." ... Or is it?

Submitted by Tom Sorrell at 2014-05-30 23:31:23 EDT
Rating: 1.0 on 3 ratings (6 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

I'm guessing you know who Jack White is. If you don't he’s pale, he's from Michigan, and he’s weird as hell. He may or may not be dead, depending on who’s asking. Either way, he’s a fantastic guitar player, which has resulted in him becoming a guitar player many people have heard of. His song Seven Nation Army is ubiquitous, especially if you follow the world of sport. (And if you do follow the world of sport, then the word ubiquitous means it’s everywhere.)

Anyway, everyone knows the man for Seven Nation Army, which has to annoy him at this point. He did write Freedom at 21, which is basically just Seven Nation Army with a few different notes and chords here and there, and no one noticed. Or maybe everyone noticed but me. One of those is probably right. The point is, there's more than one Jack White.

I know ... I know. This is obvious. It’s a common name. What I mean is, there are (at least) two Jack Whites playing guitar music in the year of our Lord, 2014. I didn’t know this until I scrolled through The Known Jack White’s album list on Rhapsody this evening.

Initial response: Should Jack have a greatest hits album already? He’s only 38.

After a moment: Yes. Fuck yes. Because Jack White is great. I clicked on the album, expecting to see familiar songs like Hotel Yorba and Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground, but instead I see...

Old Son
Don’t Rize About Your Raizin
Pictures of Jesus
Grey Skies
Peach Pickin’ Time in Georgia
Red Sails in The Sunshine

And many more.

I’ve not heard a one of those songs, which is odd, considering it’s a greatest hits album. Curiosity firmly in control, I listened to the first track, hoping to hear the familiar tone of Jack’s axe. Instead I hear something one might hear at the Alabama State Fair if one were unlucky enough to be in Alabama.

Initial response: What the fuck is this shit?

http://www.amazon.com/Best-Jack-White/dp/B00K9ZKFEC

After a moment: I’ve been duped! This is not Jack White. It’s a man with a decent tone to his voice and enough talent to adequately play the guitar, but it’s someone else who I imagine has no less than 38 very confused, and possibly hostile, Jack White fans showing up at each gig. That makes me laugh, but not as much as track four of the album, which sounds like the minor league version of Johnny and June.

Initial response: I want to rip on this album so badly.

After a moment: I’m not going to. The Unknown Jack White has the gumption to play the music he does in earnest. Regardless of how I may feel about said music, I can’t even play the guitar (yet). Yes, I can play a mean E string and pick along to songs, but that’s it. The Unknown Jack White has me beaten. If he were to play the shitty bar I drink in, I will have given him money. That makes him a professional and me a drunk. I’m fine with this.

Also, The Unknown Jack White:

a. … clearly enjoys playing music, and that’s something that can’t be faked. The live version of Moonpie Delight (or whatever the hell the name of the song is) is filled with more Joe Cocker-esque grunts and yelps than a Belushi imitation on SNL. (Sidenote: I miss John Belushi.)
b. … found a glitch in the Matrix that let him slip this album full of songs into Jack White’s Rhapsody page, thereby allowing many, many, MANY people to mistakenly listen to it. Good form, sir.
c. … made me laugh harder than I have in months. It may have been unintentional, but I laughed nonetheless, so thank you Jack White ... both of you. Play fuckin’ loud.





I knew Jack White and you're no Jack White.jpg
I knew Jack White and you're no Jack White.jpg


Review This Item

Rating:

Comment:




Reviews


Submitted by Unabonger at 2014-07-11 18:42:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

I try to like Jack White…I really try to.


Submitted by Tom Sorrell at 2014-06-06 16:09:01 EDT (#)

It does indeed, but no.

Submitted by ilikesteak at 2014-06-05 23:00:06 EDT (#)

To be fair, naming a normal, non-best of album "Best of Jack White" and not promoting it at all does sound like something he would do.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2014-06-02 23:10:55 EDT (#)

Tenacious D is the band with the whiskey bottle lead singer, right?

Submitted by JonnyX at 2014-06-02 13:11:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

I just love Tenacious D

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2014-05-31 08:17:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

There used to be a band called "Free Beer and Hot Dogs" that benefitted from the appellative confusion until the owners of the bars they played in realized that the crowd didn't appreciate the joke. I think they ended up changing their name to "The Cliches" or something like that.


You know, some of these stories are pretty good. I never knew mice
lived such interesting lives.

-- Homer Simpson
Itchy & Scratchy & Marge