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They're not insults. They're facts. Bret is a shit guitarist.
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Submitted by DaBeast at 2014-08-12 17:14:02 EDT
Rating: 1.83 on 6 ratings (6 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

I was eight years old. We had an old television that came in its own cheap, fake wooden cabinet. The pull knob had come off in somebody's hands years before and we had to keep hunting it up so we could use it on the tv. Mom eventually just wrapped the metal tongue with masking tape when the pull knob disappeared forever. The colors were grainy, the tube had been exposed to a magnet at some point in time and there was a rainbow wash over the upper left portion of the screen, the fake wood was scuffed and cracked and chipped off in places. The rabbit ears that sat on top were duct taped and lopsided. It was a crappy tv and, since there were only three channels and PBS, it wasn't used a whole lot.

Mom had her soaps, Pop watched sports, and after dinner, sometimes, they'd let us turn it on and watch til bedtime.

I had my favorites. "The Muppet Show" was right up there with "Flipper" re-runs for me. But some nights, there was "Happy Days" and I'd watch it and I'd laugh.

Until one night, there was "Happy Days" and there was this new guy.

He wore a red suit with silver stripes. Had a cute spaceman helmet. Frizzy brown hair and big brown eyes and a jaw you could break a brick on, it was so sharp. His voice was high pitched and squeaky and he said "Shazbot!" a lot.

I was eight years old. I wasn't difficult to entertain.

But I couldn't take my eyes off of that spaceman and everytime he opened his mouth, I laughed until I cried.

I still remember sitting there, laughing and crying, eyes glued to that crappy television.

And, for a few moments, everything else just vanished. At that moment, no one was trying to kill me. At that moment, no one hated me. I was still friendless, surrounded by a crazed pack of psycho /sociopaths, helpless, stupid, and alone. But it all just went away, washed off in that moment of hilarity and, in that moment, all there was was laughter.

For me, Robin Williams was the first comedian. The one I met before all of the others. The one that came into my living room and gave me a gift.

Even in the middle of hell, there can be a moment of laughter.

I'll never get to thank him for that.


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Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2014-08-21 15:42:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by JonnyX at 2014-08-13 12:04:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2014-08-12 21:30:29 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I still have my Mork and Mindy activity book.

Submitted by Darth_Famine at 2014-08-12 20:56:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by RoadSong at 2014-08-12 18:25:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Even in the middle of hell, there can be a moment of laughter.

I'll never get to thank him for that.


Submitted by Shlongy at 2014-08-12 17:38:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Homer: All right, Herb. I'll lend you the 2,000 bucks. But you have
to forgive me and treat me like a brother.

Herb: Nope.

Homer: All right, then, just give me the drinking bird.

Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes?