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Yeah, I'm Going To Hell

Submitted by DaBeast at 2014-08-12 19:26:12 EDT
Rating: 1.83 on 6 ratings (6 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Hell is a happy place.

Hey, didn't you hear? Robin Williams is coming! We've already got the venue lined up and his name is at least three feet tall on the marquee. Carlin's opening and we got Carson to host. Biggest event of the year and it's happening tonight! Morrison wanted to open but I told him we didn't have enough room for an ego that big and nobody wanted to hear his crybaby beatnik shit. Not tonight. No!

We didn't put anything in the star's room except for Winters. We wanted it to be special and we've got the people to make it happen. You got no idea how many projects are lined up. He's got pick of the litter, anything he wants. For a talent like that, you don't stop, you go full-tilt and straight into the wall and you're happy as hell to do it.

I might be Satan, but, hey, I know what I like.

Lilith walks into the room, all curves and grace and six-inch-fuckme heels. I appreciate the view, always have, but let's be honest: after almost three thousand years, it gets a little old.

"I need you to go see the Pope."

She smiles at me, suddenly, and the teeth are white and a little sharp. "Oh, good. I haven't had time to make his acquaintance yet." Her voice is honey and and whiskey and smooth.

"Yeah, whatever." I can't stop pacing, and I'm moving around the room, picking things up, looking at them, putting them back down again. "Tell him that we got Williams. God can suck it."

She giggles and it's like bubbles in the dark room. "He won't like that message."

"I care?" I'm in front of her and I'm looking down into her merry eyes. "Since when?"

She flexes her calves, rises onto her toes, and plants a kiss on my cheek. "You are such a child." Her eyes keep dancing.

"Only because I have the best toys." I reach up and tug on a handful of her long auburn hair. "Bye, Lil'."

She disappears leaving behind only the echo of her bubbly laughter.


Review This Item




Submitted by tenofspades at 2014-11-18 02:57:07 EST (#)
Rating: 1

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. True, so true. I need another "spark of madness" right about now. I had one that woke me the fuck up, it was a dream about time travelling backwards....

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2014-08-21 15:44:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by ridiculous at 2014-08-13 22:05:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by RoadSong at 2014-08-13 16:32:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Morrison looked better in black leather than anyone else on the planet.

I wonder if autopsy results might show Robin had some terminal disease and he decided his own fate...

Submitted by JonnyX at 2014-08-13 11:58:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I heard Jimi and Janis are opening for him...fuckin A, man!

Submitted by Darth_Famine at 2014-08-12 20:53:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Where to get tickets?

Boy, when Marge first told me she was going to the Police Academy, I
thought it's be fun and exciting, like the movie `Spaceballs.' But
instead, it's been painful and disturbing, like the movie `Police

-- Homer Simpson
The Springfield Connection