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Passing Time at the Styx

Submitted by Tom Sorrell at 2014-09-21 11:43:30 EDT
Rating: 0.0 on 0 ratings (1 review) (Review this item) (V)

I sing of my wait at the River Styx
passing time with some gloomy lunatics.
I saw an old creature walk through a wall,
step into a boat and turn to us all.

Twas the ferryman, Charon, red-faced and thick,
he removed oar from shoulder and swung it down quick,
like a man who played hockey - perhaps a left winger -
then he shouldered the oar and pointed a finger...

"Well, welly-well. Welly, well-well.
Welcome all, to the shores of Hell.
You’re bound here for eternity.
Free again you'll never be.
You’ll waste away until the end
always right around the bend
from the Grace you once could call your crutch.
All you do now you'll destroy with a touch,
you toxic creations of orgasmic slime
oozed from the depths at the start of time.
Each of you started smaller than bugs.
Then you killed bears. Then you made rugs
on which you laid down and became like Gods.
You did this to yourself, you ignorant sods!"

Just then a young man shouted aloud,
to all who could hear within the large crowd
a spew of insanity that wasn't quite clear.
This is all I managed to hear:

"Sir, where is Bedford Falls? I want to go home.
I bumped my head; all I see is stars.
How many more times will the song remain the same
in the communication breakdown?
I imagine the world when I’m 64,
and I hear the terrified screams of lambs
cascade across the rolling hills of Nashua.
My will was good, so I went hunting.
and ate green apples while red lips
hissed knowledge in my ears.
I prayed one day my Sue I would see,
but I couldn't remember if she was a he,
so I built myself a Cadillac instead,
and I did it one piece at a time."

Finally Charon could stand no more
"Shut up, you mealy-mouthed, ignorant whore,
before I give you your second death now
by putting this oar across your eyebrow."

"I can't be a whore," the man mused with a grin,
but that was the last that I heard from him.
The rest of us simply stood there in line
avoiding eye contact as we passed the time.


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Submitted by Tom Sorrell at 2014-09-21 12:22:41 EDT (#)

Just now:

Homer: You like parties, huh? Well, I just remembered they're having
a big one down at the waterfront this weekend.

Marge: You didn't remember that. You just saw it on TV.

My Sister, My Sitter

Where is Bart, anyway? His dinner's getting all cold and eaten.

-- Homer Simpson
Bart After Dark