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Cam Whore Friday?

Submitted by Tom Sorrell at 2014-11-14 22:57:44 EST
Rating: 1.83 on 7 ratings (17 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

I can't play this thing ... and I probably have less hair than most of you. I'm old. Eat shit. Get off my lawn. Etc.


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Submitted by Tom Sorrell at 2014-11-26 03:28:57 EST (#)

Nice. Thanks.

I've found REM's "Losing My Religion" and Franz Ferdinand's "Take Me Out" to be extremely easy to play as well.

Submitted by beeltea at 2014-11-26 02:35:45 EST (#)

if you want to play a really easy song, try tom petty's "free falling". it is literally the easiest song ever written. you barely have to move your hand.

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB at 2014-11-20 14:44:03 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Don't throw any water bottles into the crowd at your next big show.

Submitted by grÜeMaster emeritus and uberlord supreme at 2014-11-20 13:13:24 EST (#)

what a treat! another super interesting story from the z files!


Submitted by skrapmetal at 2014-11-19 23:36:16 EST (#)

Submitted by Tom Sorrell at 2014-11-19 14:02:04 EST (#)

Mary Had a Little Lamb.
...and I do mean "had".

The first tune I learnt on guitar was the theme from Mickey Mouse Club. I saw Frank Marino play it on an episode of Midnight Special back in the 70s and I stole my sister's guitar so I could figure it out. Changed my life. I can still play that tune as badly now as I could then (but I can play it a whole lot louder now).

Second tune: Working Man by Rush. Third: Smoke On The Water by Deep Purple. Fourth: Every 12-bar Blues song in any key ever. And the rest, as they so often utterly wrongly say, is history.

Submitted by Tom Sorrell at 2014-11-19 14:02:04 EST (#)

Mary Had a Little Lamb.

Submitted by Flack at 2014-11-17 22:39:06 EST (#)
Rating: 2

You look like you're picking the fuck out of "Hot Cross Buns."

Submitted by JonnyX at 2014-11-17 12:41:42 EST (#)
Rating: 2

i can't even

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2014-11-16 17:13:03 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Oh well in that case, you should open it more. He's my favorite dissident- as C & H is my favorite comic.

Submitted by Tom Sorrell at 2014-11-16 12:11:18 EST (#)

Haha. No. The book was a gift. I've opened it maybe twice. I read Calvin and Hobbes.

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2014-11-16 11:19:08 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I'm willing to bet Tom doesn't read Chomsky solely for his linguistics background. Am I right?

Submitted by OathMeal at 2014-11-15 15:43:12 EST (#)
Rating: 2

"The Essential Chomsky"?

We got a linguistics buff here, EVERYONE STAND BACK.

While that guitar may very well be composed of pure Tibetan Yak dung, it probably does the job. Try plugging it in to the amp for a fun surprise!

Submitted by Shlongy at 2014-11-15 10:20:20 EST (#)
Rating: 1

I used to have a mini - Fender tube amp like that one. I now have a mini-Marshall Stack collecting dust in my closet.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2014-11-15 08:07:40 EST (#)

Yes. That is exactly what I am saying, yes. Come with me down the path of logic...

It has been long known and is generally accepted that a certain amount of suffering is necessary for art to be true. The exact amount of suffering clearly varies from from art to art, but there is always some amount of suffering required. Mathematically, the amount of suffering can be described in Equation (1):

(1) Fti = Si x Tt

Fti is the Truth Factor for art i,
Si is the Suffering Rate (an experimentally determined constant) for art i, and
Tt is total time spent suffering

The variable in the above equation (1), t, is itself the result of another calculation, Equation (2)

(2) Tt = (Σ(n=0->∞) (Pn x Sn))

Tt is total time spent suffering,
Pn is the individual doing the suffering, and
Sn is the Suffering Factor for that individual

Clearly illustrated in Equation (2) is that, as the sum is added, the more individual people that are doing the suffering for the particular art and the more each of those individuals suffers for that particular art, the greater becomes the total time spent suffering. Moving that result back into Equation (1) shows that, as the total time spent suffering becomes greater, the greater the Truth Factor the particular art proportionally becomes. And of course, once the Truth Factor passes the minimum Truth Threshold for that particular art, the art becomes True.

Thus is the foundation of that homily which has long been espoused by aspiring electric guitar players: "If I play louder, I get better."

So plug it in, turn it on, crank it up, and rock out to some math.

Submitted by Tom Sorrell at 2014-11-15 00:06:28 EST (#)

So you're saying I should subject my neighbors to the shrill whine of the E string as I plink-plunk away to Like a Rolling Stone?

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2014-11-14 23:57:26 EST (#)

I think I see a couple of the problems. You're supposed to put the pointy end of the cord thingy on the floor there in the hole in the chrome plate whatsis on the guitar, and then you're supposed to turn the amplifier doodad on so it makes the guitar sound louder. Now you're ready to go a-buskin'.

Submitted by Tom Sorrell at 2014-11-14 23:00:32 EST (#)

And yes, that is Darth Vader hanging by his neck from the shitty, busted-ass venetian blinds in my apartment.


Anyone want to hire a writer/mediocre musician for anything that needs done, aside from anything sexual/illegal?

Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

-- Homer Simpson
I Love Lisa