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I gave the perkman alter to oathmeal months ago.

Submitted by apollo88 at 2014-12-28 12:20:58 EST
Rating: 0.26 on 27 ratings (42 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

that is all.




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Submitted by fuck you at 2016-12-16 09:50:19 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by JonnyX at 2015-02-06 12:18:35 EST (#)

oathmeal, below.

Submitted by TaylorSwift at 2015-02-05 14:32:29 EST (#)

jesus christ

Submitted by Mr T pities jonnytexmex the old child toucher at 2015-01-13 03:11:31 EST (#)
Rating: 2

MR T HATE THAT OATMEAL SUCKA

Submitted by tenofspades at 2015-01-01 17:50:58 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by RoadSong at 2014-12-31 14:46:08 EST (#)

Carpal Tunnel Syndrome? No. Lumber Lung? No. Jugglers despair? No. Achy-Breaky Pelvis? No.

Submitted by Bestmate2 at 2014-12-30 17:12:36 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Suscinct and pithy. Well put.

Submitted by DaBeast at 2014-12-30 10:09:15 EST (#)


So this is what boredom looks like. Got it.

Submitted by HurtByTheSun at 2014-12-30 09:02:22 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Shlongy at 2014-12-29 22:28:06 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Hey: The classic "Swanson Dinner For One" insult, still killing it on Ubersite!

Loneliest tool on the planet, below.

Submitted by OathMeal at 2014-12-29 22:23:20 EST (#)

What a pathetic regurgitation passed off as insulting, below.

You and Shlongy should form a Loser's Club (members: 2) and commiserate about your equally worthless lives.

Submitted by scourge at 2014-12-29 22:11:12 EST (#)

how's that dead-end job and lack of love from any other human treating you? scrotum still minuscule from the years of steroid abuse? impotent rage/all consuming cowardice combo still driving you insane, you giant fucking pussy? (let's dust off an old classic here...) since your poverty ridden ass can't afford it i'll pay for your flight here so you can try to shake that last one. but we both know it'll end with some of your teeth flying across the room and the rest coming out your pasty ass with the digested remains of your Swanson's Salisbury Steak for One.

it's been great catching up if for nothing else the chuckle your total inability to become more than what you've always been and always will be gave me.

anywho, enjoy your remaining decades of utter meaningless existence!!!

Submitted by OathMeal at 2014-12-29 20:34:53 EST (#)


Scourge why are you even here, you fat fucking ass?

At least Shlongy has a mental health issue as an excuse. You on the other hand are just a portly, bitter, middle-aged Ubersite has-been whose crowning achievement is getting all three of his neurons to fire at once.

Go back to Reddit you fat. Fucking. Fuck.



























God you are fat.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2014-12-29 18:23:33 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Misuse of asterisks by World's Dumbest Fucktard, two below.

Submitted by scourge at 2014-12-29 15:58:51 EST (#)

you sure love asterisks

Submitted by OathMeal at 2014-12-29 15:23:07 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Just when you thought all the *true* dumbfucks of Ubersite had gone into hibernation, hey look!

A scourge sighting.

Submitted by apollo88 at 2014-12-29 13:29:50 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Doodles: Shandy just emailed me to tell me that I am in fact, Top Dog and always have been.

Submitted by JonnyX at 2014-12-29 11:25:29 EST (#)
Rating: 2

lol - well played, Apullo old chum.

You could call this post...

~OATHMEAL APPROVED~


YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Submitted by scourge at 2014-12-29 10:55:18 EST (#)

willingly associating with that imbecile puts a serious blemish on your uber street cred

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2014-12-29 10:02:13 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2014-12-28 22:48:37 EST (#)

I <3 Ubersite.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2014-12-28 22:19:54 EST (#)
Rating: -2

INTERNET TOUGH GUY ALERT, two below.

Let's be honest here: You can barely beat your own mini-meat, much less "rip my spleen out", Swanson.

Submitted by Doodles at 2014-12-28 22:08:53 EST (#)

Apollo, we all know that Shandy was the true top dog around these parts. Once you capture your ejaculate shooting into the wide accepting, mouth of a Hungry Hungry Hippo, then you may be on this level. Possibly.

Submitted by OathMeal at 2014-12-28 21:23:18 EST (#)

Shlongy I'd rip your spleen out through your nasal cavity and feed your limp corpse to those ugly mutts of yours.

Mrs. Shlongy would then thank me profusely for saving her from a pathetic existence with the worlds ugliest and weakest husband, before offering up her oral services in exchange for a fresh batch of my piping hot gingerjizz.

I understand that it's hard to accept reality for some people. You're just an extreme case of this, as evidenced by your continuing delusions that you're even a fifth of the man I am.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2014-12-28 20:40:30 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Absolutely zero sense of self-awareness, below. Maybe the dumbest motherfucker on the planet.

We know he's the loneliest.

Submitted by OathMeal at 2014-12-28 20:21:29 EST (#)

Wow, Shlongy! Great insuZZZzzzzZzzzzZzZZZzzz...

Submitted by Shlongy at 2014-12-28 19:37:57 EST (#)
Rating: -2

You had 5 alters? Jesus Christ, that's oathmeal level stupidity.

Submitted by OathMeal at 2014-12-28 17:52:11 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Wow you guys are fast.

Whoever got it, have fun.

Submitted by OathMeal at 2014-12-28 17:08:29 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Well, fuck. This sort of ruins the fun.

Ah, well. It was swell while it lasted.

UN: Perkman1983
PW: _Cliches_

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2014-12-28 12:51:13 EST (#)

What about the "thuggy black guy" alter?

Submitted by Psmith at 2014-12-28 12:37:08 EST (#)
Rating: 2

christ, I'll say!

I'd give my remaining testicle to hear such a story!

I've long suspected you are a loser of the first order who by sheer luck and right place right time fell into a bucket load of cash.

I have opined to Mrs Psmith on occasion that I can't wait to see just how you'd squander and fuck it up.



Submitted by apollo88 at 2014-12-28 12:35:16 EST (#)

Okay, okay, you twisted my arm!

Would you all like to read a little story about how I made and blew $1.5m in the last couple of years?

There are of course, hookers and blow.


Submitted by Arthur_Dent at 2014-12-28 12:33:49 EST (#)
Rating: 2

me too!

Submitted by RAWapollo88 at 2014-12-28 12:33:24 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I, as a complete stranger to apollo88 and unbiased observer, second this motion.


Submitted by Psmith at 2014-12-28 12:32:39 EST (#)
Rating: 2

The cry goes around the internet - he's back! apollo88! The original top dog and bad boy of uber!

People will fire up IE5 like its 2003 and will alta vista bored at worked and click through to ubersite. The hits will roll. The MVA will be shook up once again!

Imagine it old sprout!

Submitted by Psmith at 2014-12-28 12:29:47 EST (#)
Rating: 2

splendid idea ! what a notion!

Submitted by Arthur_Dent at 2014-12-28 12:29:18 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Seriously though old egg, you are the saviour of ubersite.

Why don't you come back once more and rescue us with fantastic original content like the old days?

Submitted by apollo88 at 2014-12-28 12:28:34 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Aww, you guys, stop! You're embarrassing me.


Submitted by RAWapollo88 at 2014-12-28 12:28:04 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I am amazed once more at this gentleman.

His talent is as perfectly formed as his absolutely normal sized head.


Submitted by Psmith at 2014-12-28 12:27:07 EST (#)
Rating: 2

So good.

Submitted by Arthur_Dent at 2014-12-28 12:26:46 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Best post ever.

Submitted by apollo88 at 2014-12-28 12:26:19 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Oui.


Bart: Hey, Santa, what's shaking?

Homer: What's your name, Bart ... ner? -- er, little partner?

Bart: I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?

Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire