The BOSH Man! PARTIES A LITTLE TOO HARD!!Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2015-08-04 15:07:09 EDT
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We never saw it coming, man.
We were already starting to brown out when Thunderlips challenged me to a drinking contest. I glanced over towards The Kid Who Knows Everything and he solemnly shook his head in disapproval. I lost some of my superpowers when Scruggs died and, and he knew it (fucking obviously). It was disheartening to know that I could no longer accumulate as many rage party points as even Thunderlips, but I have learned better than to challenge The Kid Who Knows Everything's authority.
Before I could turn back to Thunderlips and tell him to eat spider shit, Rowdy Roddy Piper snuck up on Thunderlips and put him in the most BOSH sleeper hold anyone has ever seen, heard of, or written about. The power points on this sleeper hold were through the roof. Everyone who witnessed this sleeper hold immediately sobered up, got an erection, and shit their pants; INCLUDING Thunderlips.
It only took about six seconds for Thunderlips to pass out, he fell on his erection and his dick broke. I lit up a cigarette and nodded in agreement.
"Holy shit Hod Rod, that was the most bosh sleeper hold of all time! How did you know we were here?"
"Boshman, I have been watching you from afar. I have witnessed with great sadness the decline of your party rage points since Scruggs has died. I have come to sacrifice mine own rage party points and the bosh sleeper hold so that you could be returned to glory. The transfer of power will begin as we start cracking beers, and it will only end once we consume 100 beers and vomit on Thunderlips 3 times each before he wakes up."
I lit up a cigarette and glanced towards The Kid Who Knows Everything, he lit up a cigarette and nodded in agreement.
Hot Rod and I began to consume beer, and I felt the party rage growing within me. All that was left was for the Rodster to puke on Thunderlips one more time, and the transfer would be complete. He gave me a look of admiration, but I also saw sorrow in his eyes. Understanding dawned on me, but before I could say anything, Hot Rod Began his third and final puke. It lasted for 25 seconds, which was the longest puke i've ever heard of. We were all in a state of shock by that point (except The Kid Who Knows Everything), and Thunderlips began to stir.
I gave a respectful nod to Hot Rod's corpse, knowing that without his sacrifice, I would not have all the rage party points I now held. Thunderlips stammered groggily to his feet.
"Wha.. What happened?"
"Hot Rod put you in a sleeper hold and then you shit your pants and broke your own dick. He died to transfer his rage party points in me. I now am returned to my former glory. PS, you're a faggot."
RIP Hot Rod.