Best site ever!Submitted by pen_name at 2016-02-03 22:34:25 EST
Rating: 1.5 on 14 ratings (17 reviews) (Review this item) (V)
I love this place...even though it sucks hard, like a prostitute that was abandoned as a child and raised by vacuums.
So much good was created here. Now it is a place of sadness, a layover for post-orgasm masturbators before they continue their journey on to the more civilized parts of the World Wide Web.
It's time for the men of this site to release the meat now shriveling in their wet, cramping hands; for the women, to pull their fingers from their floppy tuna troughs. We need to go back to a time when we all masturbated upon arrival, and not before. To a time when everything mattered and nothing mattered.
Hits would help, of course. The major draw of this site was all the dick measuring, and how can people measure their dicks without hitdicks.
But nothing will happen. Bart has abandoned us, like that prostitute up there. He's lost on the streets of Chicago, turning tricks with classy ladies so he can pay men for butt stuff. Which is sad because there are plenty of dudes who just give away the butt stuff.
I mean, all he would have to do is go into a gay bar and get a drink and wink at a guy and he'd get all the assginer he could handle. How bad is his pitch? Even "Hey, my name is Bartholomew, want to stick it in me?" should yield some nice man tail.
Now this is going to bother me all night. Why can't Bart get free gay sex? How does he get women to pay him for sex? ugh.