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TAKE THIS VAPID ASS SURVEY!!!

Submitted by Sage at 2016-02-15 23:22:16 EST
Rating: 0.83 on 13 ratings (27 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Answer all, some, or none of these questions. I love you.


YOU HAVE 10 BUCKS AND NEED TO BUY SNACKS AT A GAS STATION. WHAT DO YOU GET?
Chocolate, Skittles, a soda, and some chips (depends on my mood but sour cream & onion, salt & vinegar, nacho cheese doritos, or fritos). Or maybe some coconut water, or just plain water.

IF YOU WERE REINCARNATED AS SOME SORT OF SEA DWELLING CREATURE, WHAT WOULD YOU BE?
A mermaid. Or maybe a seahorse, because obviously.

WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE REDHEAD?
Oathmeal. Or, Christina Hendricks.

LAST BOOK YOU READ?
Man in the High Castle by Philip K. Dick.

WHAT MUSIC ARE YOU LISTENING TO THESE DAYS?
Punk/hardcore bands mostly; lots of Alkaline Trio, Bad Religion, and Pennywise. Going to see The Loved Ones in DC tomorrow.

WHAT IS THE WALLPAPER ON YOUR CELLPHONE?
A picture of a yellow rose I took.

WHAT TYPE OF SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
The grey Champion hoodie I have had for time immemorial; it's what I was wearing when my apartment burned down, and it's probably my favorite piece of clothing.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE KIND OF CAKE?
German chocolate.

WHAT'S THE FIRST WORD THAT COMES TO MIND RIGHT NOW?
Celibacy. Damn, I did NOT see that coming. NO PUN INTENDED HAHAHAHAHA!!11!JL

WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR DINNER LAST NIGHT?
Filet mignon hibachi.

LOOK TO YOUR LEFT. WHAT DO YOU SEE?
My dog Hazel.

DREAM CAR:
White Audi R8

FUCK MARRY KILL - UBERSITE EDITION:
Fuck: Maybe Hidden. Marry: Shlongy, or maybe Jeanneee. Kill: Whoever keeps writing asinine shit on the Uberboard.

**********




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Submitted by Tormentos at 2016-03-09 19:07:18 EST (#)

YOU HAVE 10 BUCKS AND NEED TO BUY SNACKS AT A GAS STATION. WHAT DO YOU GET?
A couple apples, six Coronas, and a lime.

IF YOU WERE REINCARNATED AS SOME SORT OF SEA DWELLING CREATURE, WHAT WOULD YOU BE?
A squid. Squids rule.

WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE REDHEAD?
Carol Burnette. She is hands down the funniest visual comic that has ever been.

LAST BOOK YOU READ?
Thing Explainer by Randall Munroe

WHAT MUSIC ARE YOU LISTENING TO THESE DAYS?
ELP, Yes, anything by any of the band members of those groups, that sort of thing.

WHAT IS THE WALLPAPER ON YOUR CELLPHONE?
Android Green Smoke

WHAT TYPE OF SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Duluth Trading t shirt

WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE KIND OF CAKE?
Ugh. Pie or forget it.

WHAT'S THE FIRST WORD THAT COMES TO MIND RIGHT NOW?
Aardvark.

WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR DINNER LAST NIGHT?
BBQ.

LOOK TO YOUR LEFT. WHAT DO YOU SEE?
The phone.

DREAM CAR:
Home built rock crawler.

FUCK MARRY KILL - UBERSITE EDITION:
Fuck: That whining douche Perkman guy, but not like literally. I mean it like "Fuck that Perkman guy, he's a whining douche". Marry: Kinda an outdated concept I think, but maybe Sage and/or Fucking Foul - they seem to be not fully insane. Kill: Nobody, since eventually they'll all be dead eventually anyway and I will either be too dead myself to notice or I can take credit for their deadness.

Submitted by Linus at 2016-02-27 14:14:41 EST (#)
Rating: 1

1. Sody pop.
2. Friendly stingray.
3. Nope.
4. Hegel's lectures on art.
5. Dead Can Dance.
6. Some kawaii print allover shit.
7. Any.
8. Butt.
9. Noodles.
10. The boy.
11. A luxury blimp.
12. Banjo, Bart, make love cults not death cults.

Submitted by apollo88 at 2016-02-26 20:48:26 EST (#)

Nah

Submitted by Darth_Famine at 2016-02-23 05:47:08 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Answer all, some, or none of these questions. I love you.


YOU HAVE 10 BUCKS AND NEED TO BUY SNACKS AT A GAS STATION. WHAT DO YOU GET?
Coke, Beef Jerky and a can of Pringles. That crunching sound, yeah that's my arteries hardening.

IF YOU WERE REINCARNATED AS SOME SORT OF SEA DWELLING CREATURE, WHAT WOULD YOU BE?
Cthulhu because fuck your planet.

WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE REDHEAD?
The Dwidget I married 20 some odd years ago.

LAST BOOK YOU READ?
The Grand Design by Stephen Hawking

WHAT MUSIC ARE YOU LISTENING TO THESE DAYS?
Classical and some jazz

WHAT IS THE WALLPAPER ON YOUR CELLPHONE?
http://s3.amazonaws.com/s3.roosterteeth.com/images/demonmaster424b951cf3689.jpg

WHAT TYPE OF SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
I am currently shirtless, just chillin in my darth bathrobe

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF CAKE?
Ice cream cake

WHAT'S THE FIRST WORD THAT COMES TO MIND RIGHT NOW?
Dicktaco

WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR DINNER LAST NIGHT?
Korean bbq

LOOK TO YOUR LEFT. WHAT DO YOU SEE?
a sword rack containing a cavalry saber, a couple of rapiers, a Katana and a sword cane

DREAM CAR:
A Winnebago with wings

FUCK MARRY KILL - UBERSITE EDITION:
This one will take some time to decide, ladies feel free to email me your visual resume in order to aid my decision making process. Silverwolf need not apply, in fact please stop sending me your pics.... :P




**********

Submitted by Tyrone at 2016-02-21 11:41:34 EST (#)
Rating: 1


YOU HAVE 10 BUCKS AND NEED TO BUY SNACKS AT A GAS STATION. WHAT DO YOU GET?
Skittles, Arizona Watermelon Juice, Cough Syrup

IF YOU WERE REINCARNATED AS SOME SORT OF SEA DWELLING CREATURE, WHAT WOULD YOU BE?
A merman so I can fuck yo mermaid ass, ho.

WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE REDHEAD?
That ho Sansa from GoT. Nigga I wanna find out about dat cunny.

LAST BOOK YOU READ?
Al Sharpton's books #blacklivesmatter

WHAT MUSIC ARE YOU LISTENING TO THESE DAYS?
Fetty Wap and John Legend

WHAT IS THE WALLPAPER ON YOUR CELLPHONE?
The only shit I care about: money, nigga

WHAT TYPE OF SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Black and red polo

WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE KIND OF CAKE?
Pussy

WHAT'S THE FIRST WORD THAT COMES TO MIND RIGHT NOW?
Nigga

WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR DINNER LAST NIGHT?
Chicken, french fries, and some pussy

LOOK TO YOUR LEFT. WHAT DO YOU SEE?
Stacks, weed, and other pimp shit

DREAM CAR:
2010 Chevrolet Caprice Police Package with 20" rims

FUCK MARRY KILL - UBERSITE EDITION:
I'd fuck and marry you. ho. I'd kill any nigga that stepped in my way.

Submitted by scourge at 2016-02-19 22:01:16 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by DaBeast at 2016-02-19 07:38:44 EST (#)
Rating: 2


I aim to please, Sage. *tips the hat*


Submitted by Token at 2016-02-17 21:39:10 EST (#)
Rating: -2

WTF IM NOT READING ALL THAT

Submitted by Sage at 2016-02-17 18:25:44 EST (#)

DaBeast, your response made me LOL. Esp cuntburglar.

Submitted by Sage at 2016-02-17 18:23:11 EST (#)

Omg Jeanneee we could be sister wives. You know Shlongy'd be cool with polyamory.

Submitted by DaBeast at 2016-02-17 12:47:47 EST (#)
Rating: 2


YOU HAVE 10 BUCKS AND NEED TO BUY SNACKS AT A GAS STATION. WHAT DO YOU GET?
Mt Dew, Beef Jerky, & Sweet Tarts

IF YOU WERE REINCARNATED AS SOME SORT OF SEA DWELLING CREATURE, WHAT WOULD YOU BE?
Megalodon

WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE REDHEAD?
Gingers have no souls

LAST BOOK YOU READ?
"The Last Defender of Camelot" by Roger Zelazny

WHAT MUSIC ARE YOU LISTENING TO THESE DAYS?
Five Fingered Death Punch and whatever happens to be on the radio

WHAT IS THE WALLPAPER ON YOUR CELLPHONE?
I dunno. Buildings? Looks like buildings. Why do you care?

WHAT TYPE OF SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Black polo with a popped collar because fuck you, that's why.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE KIND OF CAKE?
Lemon Poppy Seed and fuck your frosting, too.

WHAT'S THE FIRST WORD THAT COMES TO MIND RIGHT NOW?
Cuntburglar

WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR DINNER LAST NIGHT?
Cocoa Puffs and you know what else? Fuck you, that's what else.

LOOK TO YOUR LEFT. WHAT DO YOU SEE?
Mardi Gra beads in a flashing, neon Shamrock mug that smells like beer and regret.

DREAM CAR:
1970 Volkswagen Beetle

FUCK MARRY KILL - UBERSITE EDITION:
If my only choices are from this hole, then I'll just shoot myself now, thanks. By the way? Fuck you all!


Submitted by Fucking foul at 2016-02-16 20:14:46 EST (#)
Rating: 2

forgot to rate

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2016-02-16 20:14:29 EST (#)

YOU HAVE 10 BUCKS AND NEED TO BUY SNACKS AT A GAS STATION. WHAT DO YOU GET?
Beef jerky and the bladder buster size sugar free redbull.

IF YOU WERE REINCARNATED AS SOME SORT OF SEA DWELLING CREATURE, WHAT WOULD YOU BE?
Bitch I already am some sort of sea dwelling creature.

WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE REDHEAD?
Mark Twain

LAST BOOK YOU READ?
Tony Bourdain's first memoir. Don't judge me.

WHAT MUSIC ARE YOU LISTENING TO THESE DAYS?
I was never that big of a Beyonce fan until she started getting white people's panties all in a bunch, but I totally get it now. So mostly Beyonce, and reggae.

WHAT IS THE WALLPAPER ON YOUR CELLPHONE?
A picture of my son behind the wheel of a parked stock car.


WHAT TYPE OF SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
My Walton Super Senior t-shirt. Still fits! I was fat in high school too, you see. Believe it or not.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE KIND OF CAKE?
Carrot cake

WHAT'S THE FIRST WORD THAT COMES TO MIND RIGHT NOW?
Ass. Always ass.

WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR DINNER LAST NIGHT?
A Reuben sandwich

LOOK TO YOUR LEFT. WHAT DO YOU SEE?
a plastic choo-choo train

DREAM CAR:
1971 Dodge Challenger

FUCK MARRY KILL - UBERSITE EDITION:
Fuck: Bart, because liberal milquetoasts make me super horny

Marry: Sage and/or Shlongy, because money and looks are everything

Kill: Method. What an asshole.

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB at 2016-02-16 19:58:54 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Fuck, marry, kill?

Yes.

Submitted by Doodles at 2016-02-16 19:51:51 EST (#)

She could always make me laugh. Plus Australian citizenship? I could eat kangaroo for the rest of my days.

Submitted by OathMeal at 2016-02-16 18:09:18 EST (#)

Marry Circe?

Are you fucking psychotic?

Submitted by Doodles at 2016-02-16 18:07:38 EST (#)

fuck Lisa. Marry Circe. Kill frankthebear.

Done.

Submitted by JonnyX at 2016-02-16 15:17:19 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Oh Bubba, really? The fake post under someone's else name trick?


Weak.

Submitted by Sage at 2016-02-16 13:22:09 EST (#)

YAAAY, I'm glad people answered, they're all making me laugh.

Oathy, not all cakes are a lie. And we can get married but you have to come to RVA first.

Steak, I'm glad you're listening to Charles Mingus. My brother's cat is named Mingus after him.

Shlongy, you still owe me a golf lesson.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2016-02-16 13:11:56 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Tell your boyfriend oathmeal to get off my dick.

And yeah, maybe we should get married, now that you are finally listening to Bad Religion.

Submitted by ilikesteak at 2016-02-16 12:44:14 EST (#)

YOU HAVE 10 BUCKS AND NEED TO BUY SNACKS AT A GAS STATION. WHAT DO YOU GET?
The biggest can of monster available, and the rest goes to beef jerky. I've already had gas station sushi, and nobody needs to try gas station sushi.

IF YOU WERE REINCARNATED AS SOME SORT OF SEA DWELLING CREATURE, WHAT WOULD YOU BE?
I would be an octopus. Probably either the bioluminescent one or the one with the awesome camouflage.

WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE REDHEAD?
There's a bartender whom I vaguely remember from years ago, which is probably a good sign.

LAST BOOK YOU READ?
Flatland by Edwin Abbott.

WHAT MUSIC ARE YOU LISTENING TO THESE DAYS?
Mostly jazz. Not the Miles Davis kind of jazz though. More along the lines of Charles Mingus or Dizzy Gillespie.

WHAT IS THE WALLPAPER ON YOUR CELLPHONE?
Solid, 000000 black. It makes the icons stand out, and I like that it's unobtrusive.


WHAT TYPE OF SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
I'm wearing a comfortable grey t-shirt with a Penguins logo on it. I need to update my wardrobe. Somehow I fell into the trap of mostly owning either black or white shirts, so I've been expanding.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE KIND OF CAKE?
Dark forest.

WHAT'S THE FIRST WORD THAT COMES TO MIND RIGHT NOW?
Bananna

WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR DINNER LAST NIGHT?
Salmon and some pasta with some spaghetti sauce that I made. It's so good that if you try it you'll immediately want to take all your glass jars of it that you've got sitting in your cabinets and throw them into oncoming traffic.

LOOK TO YOUR LEFT. WHAT DO YOU SEE?
The gaping maw of the abyss.

DREAM CAR:
Morgan Aero8.

FUCK MARRY KILL - UBERSITE EDITION:
Fuck, I don't know any of this shit. I just stopped by to say hi.

Submitted by Dru M at 2016-02-16 10:21:12 EST (#)

I like leaving for work knowing Bret just roid raged out

Submitted by Dru M at 2016-02-16 10:14:59 EST (#)

Submitted by OathMeal at 2016-02-16 07:09:10 PST (#)
Rating: 1


WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR DINNER LAST NIGHT?

Swanson's Dinner for One


Submitted by OathMeal at 2016-02-16 10:09:10 EST (#)
Rating: 1

YOU HAVE 10 BUCKS AND NEED TO BUY SNACKS AT A GAS STATION. WHAT DO YOU GET?

Protein bar, bag of cashews and the cute cashier's phone number.


IF YOU WERE REINCARNATED AS SOME SORT OF SEA DWELLING CREATURE, WHAT WOULD YOU BE?

A nautilus. Or an octopus. Or Poseidon himself.


WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE REDHEAD?

Me.


LAST BOOK YOU READ?

Count of Monte Cristo and it rocked my face off.

WHAT MUSIC ARE YOU LISTENING TO THESE DAYS?

Vulfpeck. Older Jeff Beck. Bill Frisell.


WHAT IS THE WALLPAPER ON YOUR CELLPHONE?

A photo of my dog looking suspicious.


WHAT TYPE OF SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?

Fuck shirts. Suns out, guns out.


WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE KIND OF CAKE?

What does it matter, they're all a lie anyway.


WHAT'S THE FIRST WORD THAT COMES TO MIND RIGHT NOW?

Progenitor.

WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR DINNER LAST NIGHT?

Habanero beef jerky, some vitamin gummies and about 6 eggs.


LOOK TO YOUR LEFT. WHAT DO YOU SEE?

Crushed dreams and a vanload of regrets.

j/k...just my wallet and some notes.

DREAM CAR:

My dream car is no car, because I'd live somewhere it's not needed.

FUCK MARRY KILL - UBERSITE EDITION:

Fuck: TigerLilly. Marry: Sage. Kill: Shlongy's brainless, bitch fucking ass.

Submitted by Dru M at 2016-02-16 10:01:35 EST (#)

Pedophile below

Submitted by JonnyX at 2016-02-16 06:23:39 PST (#)


YOU HAVE 10 BUCKS AND NEED TO BUY SNACKS AT A GAS STATION. WHAT DO YOU GET?
What ever the children are tempted by these days!

IF YOU WERE REINCARNATED AS SOME SORT OF SEA DWELLING CREATURE, WHAT WOULD YOU BE?
LOLOLOL I drive a porsche!

WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE REDHEAD?
Jack McCallum

LAST BOOK YOU READ?
Made in the U.S.A by Jack McCallum

WHAT MUSIC ARE YOU LISTENING TO THESE DAYS?
LOLOLOL I am a Californian Executive so the Beach Boys of course

WHAT IS THE WALLPAPER ON YOUR CELLPHONE?
The last child I abducted


WHAT TYPE OF SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
A clown costume to attract the children

WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE KIND OF CAKE?
Children's birthday cake. If it's from before their sixth birthday LOLOLOLOL

WHAT'S THE FIRST WORD THAT COMES TO MIND RIGHT NOW?
FBI

WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR DINNER LAST NIGHT?
Swanson's Dinner for One

LOOK TO YOUR LEFT. WHAT DO YOU SEE?
CCTV feed for the car park where I work

DREAM CAR:
LOLOLOLO PORSCHE OBVIOUSLY

FUCK MARRY KILL - UBERSITE EDITION:
Fuck: anyone under six years old. Marry: LOLOLOL Kill: Whoever keeps phoning the cops on me!

Submitted by Tarka at 2016-02-16 09:23:39 EST (#)

Shit, I was hoping some other people already answered these questions.

Submitted by pen_name at 2016-02-16 02:43:58 EST (#)
Rating: 1

I hate these things. People will play along and answer because they want to feel like the choices they've made (or would make) are important, right down to the picture on their cell, but then they don't read anyone else's answers, because, well, fuck them. So--when uber was good anyway--it'd be 50 comments that no one would read except stalkers and Caul

That being said, you are right about the shit on the uber board. +1


Uh, so. Let's have a conversation. Uh, I think we'll find that we have
very little in common.

-- Homer Simpson
The Last Temptation of Homer