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The $19.95 Asian Massage

Submitted by RoadSong at 2016-05-07 14:13:07 EDT
Rating: 2.0 on 8 ratings (11 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

*ring ring*

She said. "Are you free next Wednesday?" I have decided we are going to the spa for a massage, my treat."

Lolling on the couch reading the local paper as we talked on the phone, I saw an ad that had not been in the paper the day before. The damn ad was in the Union Democrat Newspaper. I thought what the hell?

"Asian Massage - Women Only - $19.95".

"Hey, here is an ad that offers massages for women for $19.95, that is a lot less than the upscale spa you were thinking of, you want to call the number in the ad and check it out, we might want to try the bargain massage...?"

She made the appointments and I met her when she got off work and I hopped in her sweet new hotness ride. New cars, she always has new cars.

We cruised along Stockton Blvd.looking for the address the person on the phone had given her. It was a woman's voice, an ASIAN woman's voice on the phone when she called for the appointment. This in itself was unusual. There are no Asians in this county. No blacks. A couple of Hispanic families live here and one of them owns an excellent restaurant. We see no Asian ladies here. The population of the "town" we live in is 200. We drove 30 miles of bad road to get to the address given when we made the appointment. It was in the next town down the mountain.

She parked when she started seeing numbers close to the ones we were seeking. There were no obvious looking spa type buildings to be seen as we walked in the late afternoon sun.

No matter, we had found a window that had the word "SPA" and "KEEP OUT" glued on with those square paper letter sets from the Dollar Store. There was a door bell button with "ring for service" scribbled in red marking pen on a index card.

She looked at me and said "Great, and I left my pepper spray in the car". She was only half kidding. She is an outstanding badass. I went to great lengths taking her to self defense lessons and target practice at the shooting range to ensure she could defend herself in an emergency. She is currently training with a personal trainer who is a ex-Marine and is now in law enforcement.

I grinned and told her that she and I could take at least two Asian chicks and we had a good chance of holding our own against four. I also was not kidding and have had many years of training in the necessary art of whoopass and shinysharpness.

After the second round of door bell ringing, we decided to just go on in. We were standing in a foyer. The door on the left had a "OPEN" sign next to it. We knocked because this was not a commercial building. It was an apartment building. Could have been Gold Rush Era. The door opened and I saw I had been wrong. We DID have an Asian person living here in this county besides that gazillionaire Frank Oyung who walked everywhere and led those Sierra Club hikes.

"You 5:30?-You early!"
We nodded in the affirmative and she opened the door wider.
"You want egg roll?"
"Oh no thank you" said I as we took in the surroundings.

Standing in the clean kitchen and checking out her lap top, I noticed a tickling around my flip flop feet. A Chihuahua was licking my toes.

"You sure you no want egg roll?"

Oh no, and we are sorry to interrupt your meal.

"Follow me". Half of the apartment was kitchen, the other part was the massage area. It had two high massage tables and beautiful custom curtains between the tables. "You want water?"

Yes thank you, and a cold bottle of water was pressed into my hand. "Take off clothes hop on table, I be back".

Standing there nude giggling at a table that was almost tit high to me, I managed to leap somewhat gracefully and settle myself on the table. Laying on my belly and checking out the aromas of lavender and ginger that were wafting from a small table nearby, the girl sat near me and peered at me thoughtfully.

"What kind massage you want?". "Whatever you think I need" I said. This was perhaps a big mistake.

I was laying on my belly, and a towel was placed over my ass and the massage began. She oiled her small hands and started on the delicate facial area and worked her way down. It felt great. So relaxing, my brain followed my body to mush land. Then she leaped up on the table with me and straddled me, folding her slim bare legs against my sides. This was an unexpected event, but not unpleasant.

Crotch pressing on my ass, she made some ceremonial hand-body movements {I know this from dance training, could feel her body sway}.

My eyes flew open at the sudden pain of the assault. She was using a lot of force, more than I thought wise for a person to use on a small client paying the magnificent sum of $19.95.

"You turn over now"

I almost stopped her assault upon my person a couple of times, but I thought I would just take all she had to give, it was not all that bad a way to live. The scented oil and her brown legs tucked around me...

When the massage was over she said "Take nap". I floated off to a dream land of pleasure and pain. Soon I heard a massage starting on the other side of the curtain.

I was sniggering and waiting to hear the WHAPWHAPWHAPWHAPWHAPWHAPWHAPWHAPWHAPPA. Instead I heard a series of "Aaahhhs" and "Ohhhs". There were strange popping noises but nary a WHAPPA. When the massage on the other side of the curtain was completed, I managed to sit up with my body still feeling like bruised Jello. I struggled my oiled ass into my silky things. The curtain was pulled aside and my companion was grinning like a possum. I asked her if she had heard me get beat up. She laughed and said that the sound was like the scene in the movie "Rocky" where Stallone was punching the side of beef.

I asked her why she had not gotten the same treatment. "I guess I just got a different kind of massage, didn't you hear my bones snapping and popping?". Indeed I had. When it came time to pay, my companion asked me if I thought this place would take Visa since she had no cash with her.


"I don't think so, not to worry, I will pay for both of us". I paid and tipped and we smiled and shook hands with the Asian gal.

As we walked down the steps I told her that I was wrong about being able to thrash four Asian girls. I told her that we could have whipped perhaps two, but not if the Chihuahua was in the mix.


Review This Item




Submitted by HurtByTheSun at 2016-05-18 02:37:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

This must be the first positive review I've given you.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2016-05-14 09:31:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I just love a Happy Ending...

Seriously. It's a personal preference.

Submitted by ilikesteak at 2016-05-14 00:07:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by ArdAtak at 2016-05-09 15:59:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by JonnyX at 2016-05-09 14:13:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2016-05-07 22:45:18 EDT (#)

As someone who can finally afford regular massages, I highly recommend them. They are cheaper per session than a chiropractor and the results last longer.

By the by, your friend is a cutie.

Submitted by DaBeast at 2016-05-07 22:19:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

The tires shush whip-whip-whip over the road and the song on the radio's a nice one. Thankee kindly. *tips the hat*

Submitted by RoadSong at 2016-05-07 22:17:53 EDT (#)

Twas a bargain fo sho.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2016-05-07 20:28:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You get what you pay for.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2016-05-07 15:55:51 EDT (#)

...I was pleased the Chihuahua didn't whip my ass too?

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2016-05-07 15:49:34 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

...no happy ending?

Oooh ... maca-ma-damia nuts.

-- Homer Simpson
Bart's Dog Gets an F