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My adventures in the woods

Submitted by blackbear at 2016-12-05 14:23:33 EST
Rating: 0.75 on 8 ratings (16 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

The other day I found myself in North Carolina, hunting after ubersite users in real life. I heard shlongy lives in north carolina somewhere. I was in a place called Gray's Chapel. I worshipped there for a while, hung out with a priest. He told me about how Jesus is coming back, and so is Hitler.

I headed north a ways, and passed New Salem Rd, and started to feel some sexual urges. There were no female bears in sight, so i kept going. Luckily i came across a place called Climax. And believe me, I did climax behind a dumpster after scoring some free food. Still no female bears anywhere. I found a road called Appomattox Rd, headed north, and came across a place called Pleasant Garden. There I did find some other bears, we ate some apples, carrots, pears, and then smoked some fine cuban cigars.

"Hey, what kind of bear are you? You don't look like you're from around here."

"What are you, some kind of racist?"

"Well no, but I wanted to make sure you're not a reptilian in disguise. Or a human in a bear costume."

"Ah fair enough. Yea, i'm the real deal. Not too many black bears around here, eh?"

"Well if you head west, there's a place called High Point University. Lots of retarded black bears there, they think they're really smar-"

At this point I scratched him in the face. How dare he call me retarded? High Point sounds like a fine place to be. He stumbled back a few steps, then lunged at me. I jumped to the side, grabbed a garbage can, and smashed him over the head with it. He fell to the ground. I had sex with two female bears real quick, then headed towards High Point.

I arrived at High Point two days ago on Saturday, and enrolled immediately. I am now using their free internet in the library, while I stay in the dorms, and learn about quantum physics. A few of us are building a hadron collider, so we can smash some atoms together, just for the fun of it. The bears here are quite intelligent.

Last night I ate at a restaurant called Becky's & Mary's. Then I fucked both Becky and Mary, turns out they love the bear cock. I scratched them up a little by mistake though, oh well. So originally I was hunting down Shlongy, but.... ended up at high point somehow, where i am now. I should finish the semester in April 2017, and at that point I should have a degree, and then start making even more money than Silverwolf! wow. where should i go next? any ideas? maybe i should hunt down silverwolf instead.... i heard he works in a factory, building solar panels. i'll see if there's any of those around here...

Review This Item




Submitted by shitfuck at 2017-02-10 01:00:31 EST (#)
Rating: -2

My ass just made a funny sound.

Submitted by Pubis at 2016-12-19 10:05:00 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Is this fiction?

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2016-12-10 20:42:22 EST (#)

High Point is a delightfully ratchet place. Enjoy.

Submitted by Bestmate2 at 2016-12-07 17:07:22 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Yeh, liked it.

Submitted by blackbear at 2016-12-07 17:04:15 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I'll be there too, motherfuckers! You can count on me!
I'll knock the tables over, eat all the food in the kitchen, bang a few waitresses, be in the background of the photo you take without realizing i'm there, then you'll run for your lives as I chase you down!

I'm in North Carolina right now with no money, no car, etc. But I am learning things at this university. Who knows, maybe I'll just hitchhike there, leave a cardboard cutout of a blackbear somewhere in Silver Spring, strategically located.... maybe the locals will know you, and direct me to your business or residence! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Anything's possible.

Or i'll just eat out of a dumpster again.

Submitted by Sage at 2016-12-07 09:58:43 EST (#)

Not sure what email you have for me but send it to thefirecracker1212.at.gmail.com

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2016-12-06 23:04:04 EST (#)

Just got here in November, Hon. Opened a business in DC, living in Silver Spring (well, just north of Takoma). Let's meet up for drinks sometime. I'll fire you an email soon.

Submitted by Sage at 2016-12-06 22:40:01 EST (#)

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2016-12-05 15:12:11 EST (#)
Rating: 1

You don't have to hunt me down. Come to DC. There are many fine bears here. Traffic sucks, though.


When the shit did you move to DC (aka my hometown because obviously this is a thinly veiled attempt to make this comment about me)?

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB at 2016-12-05 23:12:15 EST (#)

I'm pretty sure ol' Jamie got high and just spammed the hell out of poor dead Uber with his 12 alters.

Submitted by Tormentos at 2016-12-05 18:36:29 EST (#)

Submitted by Perk "Grownman Perkiness" man at 2016-12-05 15:08:13 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Even a bear can make more than Silverwolf.. A BEAR!
And yet, you can't.

Submitted by ArdAtak at 2016-12-05 16:48:18 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by blackbear at 2016-12-05 15:21:35 EST (#)

What would you all think if i made a website that was just like ubersite, you can make new posts, anonymously snipe on the uberboard, etc. but also had additional features? like private messaging? poker tables? other types of games? i've been thinking about it for a while. i want to be successful like perkman or silvrwolf, maybe a website should be the first step. then i'll build some flying cars or something.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2016-12-05 15:12:11 EST (#)
Rating: 1

You don't have to hunt me down. Come to DC. There are many fine bears here. Traffic sucks, though.

And High Point is where you go when you want to furnish your home, not get an education.

Fun fact: both NC and VA have communities named Climax.

Submitted by Perk "Grownman Perkiness" man at 2016-12-05 15:08:13 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Even a bear can make more than Silverwolf.. A BEAR!

Submitted by Shlongy at 2016-12-05 14:44:35 EST (#)
Rating: 1

SOUTH Carolina, son....SOUTH.

Our lives are in the hands of men no smarter than you or I. Many of
them incompetent boobs. I know this because I've worked alongside
them, gone bowling with them, watched them pass me over for promotions
time and again and I say this stinks.

-- Homer Simpson
Homer's Odyssey