My adventures in the woodsSubmitted by blackbear at 2016-12-05 14:23:33 EST
Rating: 0.75 on 8 ratings (16 reviews) (Review this item) (V)
The other day I found myself in North Carolina, hunting after ubersite users in real life. I heard shlongy lives in north carolina somewhere. I was in a place called Gray's Chapel. I worshipped there for a while, hung out with a priest. He told me about how Jesus is coming back, and so is Hitler.
I headed north a ways, and passed New Salem Rd, and started to feel some sexual urges. There were no female bears in sight, so i kept going. Luckily i came across a place called Climax. And believe me, I did climax behind a dumpster after scoring some free food. Still no female bears anywhere. I found a road called Appomattox Rd, headed north, and came across a place called Pleasant Garden. There I did find some other bears, we ate some apples, carrots, pears, and then smoked some fine cuban cigars.
"Hey, what kind of bear are you? You don't look like you're from around here."
"What are you, some kind of racist?"
"Well no, but I wanted to make sure you're not a reptilian in disguise. Or a human in a bear costume."
"Ah fair enough. Yea, i'm the real deal. Not too many black bears around here, eh?"
"Well if you head west, there's a place called High Point University. Lots of retarded black bears there, they think they're really smar-"
At this point I scratched him in the face. How dare he call me retarded? High Point sounds like a fine place to be. He stumbled back a few steps, then lunged at me. I jumped to the side, grabbed a garbage can, and smashed him over the head with it. He fell to the ground. I had sex with two female bears real quick, then headed towards High Point.
I arrived at High Point two days ago on Saturday, and enrolled immediately. I am now using their free internet in the library, while I stay in the dorms, and learn about quantum physics. A few of us are building a hadron collider, so we can smash some atoms together, just for the fun of it. The bears here are quite intelligent.
Last night I ate at a restaurant called Becky's & Mary's. Then I fucked both Becky and Mary, turns out they love the bear cock. I scratched them up a little by mistake though, oh well. So originally I was hunting down Shlongy, but.... ended up at high point somehow, where i am now. I should finish the semester in April 2017, and at that point I should have a degree, and then start making even more money than Silverwolf! wow. where should i go next? any ideas? maybe i should hunt down silverwolf instead.... i heard he works in a factory, building solar panels. i'll see if there's any of those around here...