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Melacholy Winning...

Submitted by Perk "Grownman Perkiness" man at 2017-09-26 22:21:27 EDT
Rating: 0.2 on 7 ratings (22 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Listen to this while you read... "Codeine Crazy"- Future



The jobs have been coming in. Just got hit up for a product that's supposed to be the next best "Energy drink"... we'll see. I'm about to go out and test it, just got given boxes of it.

They want me to create a viral commercial for it. We'll see. I'm focused on my movie and figuring all of that out. We still haven't found full funding though. We have two different directors that want to film it, and actors have expressed interest to be in it for scale.

It's wild. Too much shit comes at me at once, it'd behoove me to try and slow down, but at this point, I'm just so stoked to have people ask me to create things for them, I'll take anything.. not smart, but I have to get my game up.

Just got a text from the company owner, they're truly trusting me with this. I'm going to ask for 7-10% of the product instead of a cash payment.

I've gotten used to being "broke" during my quest to be a writer. So, if I'm going to work with any product or group, I want some form of "ownership" even if it's pennies.. ownership keeps the lights on.

I asked a random bouncer friend of mine to come out with me to test it out. He hasn't gotten back to me.

I don't have any more "friends" anymore like that. I just live.. I'm going to smile for the days I have on this earth. Smile at strangers, give hugs to the ladies, rub fat guys bellies for luck, and lament about life.

It's all a ruse, and I've been woken up just like Jim Carrey... but difference between him and I, I understand that "Money is all there is", and whenever I hear the song "Codeine Crazy- By Future".. I just want to go on a bender, do coke, drink brandy, and dance on the hills on sunset Blvd, and just live...

I'm where everyone wishes they were, and wants to be.

Within the next 2 years I'm going to make at least 1.6 million.. if not, then fuck it, I'll make more.

Thanks to those that fought for Perkman, and rooted for me. Your kind words helped me through those dark days. I'm about to get drunk, maybe some blow, and try this product with my friends and go out (Well, "Fake Hollywood friends"), and live it up.

This is all there is... and I've finally become okay with it. I've accepted "Capitalism" as my religion.

Live uber.... live...


Review This Item




Submitted by Tormentos at 2017-10-13 12:31:35 EDT (#)

Swapping hands mid-wank, 3 2 and 1 below.

Submitted by apollo88 at 2017-10-13 12:17:51 EDT (#)

the fuck i need advice where to go?

you don't roll at my level - what could you possibly tell me?

Submitted by Perk "Grownman Perkiness" man at 2017-10-12 17:08:03 EDT (#)

Apollo88- If you're going to be in Santa Monica. I recommend going down to Venice Beach. But when you're going to go out, go to the Comedy Store down off of Sunset (I frequent there), or else if you have some money, go down to downtown Hollywood to "Dream Hotel". Get dinner there, and go to club Hi-Light, or the spots around there. Celebs are known to be spotted there.

Submitted by apollo88 at 2017-10-11 22:53:24 EDT (#)

Perkman: I'm gonna be in LA weekend of the 20th, Santa Monica all day Friday - wanna show me your fav dumpster to dive?

Submitted by apollo88 at 2017-10-11 22:51:34 EDT (#)



Submitted by Shlongy at 2017-10-04 12:57:44 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Needs a shower...and psychotherapy, below.

Submitted by OathMeal at 2017-10-04 08:19:38 EDT (#)

I actually laughed.

Still, go fuck yourself Shlongy.

Submitted by Perk "Grownman Perkiness" man at 2017-10-03 13:45:56 EDT (#)

Oathmeal, I'm a real person bud.

Shlongy- Hahha, you're a savage.. that Oathmeal diss was legendary.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2017-10-03 09:44:15 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

..."oathmeal's will"...With that windfall, bart might be able to buy himself a Happy Meal.

Submitted by OathMeal at 2017-10-03 08:16:21 EDT (#)

I swear to god that I am going to go to my grave without knowing the *real* truth about his mother fucking alter, even though I'm near 100% sure who's behind it.


That is a travesty.

FUCK YOU whoever the fuck is driving Perkman. Fuck you for your staying power and commitment to this godforsaken, wholly fake visage. I may well include a provision in my will that allows for a payout to Bart if the truth is ever made known about the Perkman alter.

I guess the worst part of this is that it's not me.

Mother fuckers think Method was King of the Alters. Bullshit.


Submitted by Bubba2341 at 2017-09-29 20:35:09 EDT (#)

Perkman is Apollo. That is all.

Submitted by HurtByTheSun at 2017-09-29 03:39:27 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Enjoy trying to beat Monster and Red Bull.

PS - you won't.

Submitted by Tarka at 2017-09-29 03:12:42 EDT (#)

I'm in a pickle here.
So you could be an alter, then good job for portraying the worst kind of thick a person could be.
Or you're not an alter but some real dude just fucking around with everyone. If that's the case, then good job in portraying a person suffering from the Dunning-Kruger effect.
Or you are really like this.
If you are really like this, then I don't need to say anything because the universe will shit on you enough, deservedly so. I'd go as far to say that it behooves the Universe to shit all of it's bowels onto your existence.

Submitted by Linus at 2017-09-29 00:59:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Nice mang. Million bucks buys a lot of life.

Submitted by apollo88 at 2017-09-28 19:27:18 EDT (#)

Are you actually real then?

It would be crazy if you actually existed!

Submitted by Perk "Grownman Perkiness" man at 2017-09-27 21:20:55 EDT (#)

Apollo- Football head, let me know. I'll be in Venice Beach (probably working out, and playing basketball)

Silvr- Thanks. Good to hear that at times.

Submitted by apollo88 at 2017-09-27 19:14:00 EDT (#)

probably the only bit of truth in this whole performance is that you got a gig selling soda in LA.

I'll be in Santa Monica soon, if I see you on the beach I don't wanna buy a soda, ok?

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2017-09-27 18:22:28 EDT (#)

You couldn't create something viral if you were infested with Ebol--

You know what? I've had a shit week and I'm in a foul mood and I just don't have the energy to pretend to hate you today. Congrats on the drink gig. I hope it works out for you.

Submitted by Bestmate2 at 2017-09-27 15:44:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Inspirational. Loved it.

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2017-09-27 10:46:31 EDT (#)

Mazel tov

Submitted by Shlongy at 2017-09-27 10:03:12 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Reading this may have made me "Melacholy" but I'll have to look up the definition and see if that is so.

Oh, wait.

I'm sure all those Hollywood bigwigs that you rub elbows with love reading your scripts. LOL

Submitted by messmind at 2017-09-27 09:30:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Greed is eternal :D

rule #10

Oooh ... maca-ma-damia nuts.

-- Homer Simpson
Bart's Dog Gets an F