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Life Lessons: What it means to become an uncle

Submitted by deelo at 2018-05-25 03:39:27 EDT
Rating: 1.57 on 7 ratings (11 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

So someone fucked your sister huh? Yea pretty messed up, but what does it mean to you? This is what the early days of becoming a first-time uncle entail. You will immediately receive an iCloud Photo Sharing invite and wonder hmmm, what's that?, sounds good and click Accept. Your screen will instantly start loading and scrolling and loading and scrolling and pictures will appear faster than your dumb new-uncle brain can process before you realize it reads "downloading 188 photos" and you're like wait wat no stop and before you know it you are now the proud owner of 188 photos of the same baby making the same face as the other new uncle's photos of what appears to you as the same baby making the same face. Anyways, if someone fucks your sister, get unlimited data.

You'll also discover your mother will magically learn how to use snapchat, a lot.

Good luck.

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Submitted by AllyJeans at 2018-12-03 08:24:54 EST (#)
Rating: 1

I've never looked at an unsolicited picture and been glad I did, with the exception of the ones my cousin posts of his kids crying on Santa's lap. They cry every year and I look forward to those.

Submitted by Hashtag at 2018-10-09 08:01:33 EDT (#)

In your case being an uncle means keeping ur dick in ur pants around ur sisterrs kids. Doubt u can manage it so chemical castration might be the way to go

Submitted by Murphy1844 at 2018-09-12 01:37:30 EDT (#)

Made me smirk, which is the equivalent of making anyone else truly laugh out loud. Great post.


Submitted by monsieurstabby at 2018-08-20 19:48:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by experima at 2018-07-09 19:20:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by StuporDupor at 2018-06-07 19:41:12 EDT (#)

I fucked your sister. Tight.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2018-05-26 11:27:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Babies are lovely. It it a pleasure to see a photo of the child.
After that, its a slippery slope of dribble...

Submitted by beeltea at 2018-05-25 23:26:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

To a divorced parent.

You will change their diaper and fuck it up because the worried mother called you in the middle of a diaper change to check if the kid was okay. He was; now he's wriggling around on the floor naked because you called me in the middle of diaper change; and if I don't answer the phone the mother thinks the entire place has been invaded by child kidnappers who will sell your child for crack.

Not that I wouldn't sell your child for crack; but there is a fixed economy here and children aren't doing that well. Not to mention crack isn't as popular these days.

As far as somebody fucking your sister; well that's just the way that goes. Sometimes people will fuck your sister and their brood will become your responsibility. Especially if your brother-in-law is a total piece of shit. Just go with the flow, I say; and take care of your nieces and nephews. It is not their fault.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2018-05-25 16:29:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

This entertained me more than it should have.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2018-05-25 10:20:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

oathmeal has issues.

Submitted by Dru M at 2018-05-25 06:51:14 EDT (#)

Dru Myers will be all over this. He's a pedophile.

Homer: Okay, okay, don't panic. To find Flanders, I just have to think
like Flanders!

Homer's Brain:
I'm a big four-eyed lame-o and I wear the same stupid sweater
everyday, and --

Homer: The Springfield River!

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