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Submitted by erosion_rules at 2018-06-29 14:14:07 EDT
Rating: -2.0 on 1 rating (3 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Wednesday, April 9

Well, they fuckin' did it... Our government finally pissed the world off enough to make everyone band against us. I have no idea what I'm gonna do. I mean, this shit... This is fucking World War III. I don't want to get blown up. Do tourist areas even get attacked in war? Like, are all the allied military forces gonna converge on fuckin' Disney World? Hopefully I'll be okay. I just hope after it's over they understand some of us can't just up and move. This is a huge country, just leaving would be equivalent to leaving the continent for them...


Hey Uber, remember when we used to do these? Well, I'm taking a better, more personalized path for this one. Writing from the character's perspective but doing it stream of consciousness style instead of trying to keep it way too tidy and ending up jilted like the ones I did of old. Seriously, I reread some of my old stuff and it jumps the fuck around.

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Submitted by Bestmate2 at 2018-06-30 18:31:54 EDT (#)

My dear old chap, calm down, if only for your blood pressure! Look, we still love our American cousins. We do look upon you as somewhat juvenile in your dealings with the world at large, but your loyalty to a cause somewhat makes up. A world without America would be like a meal without wine. You are rough and you are tough. You are strong and mighty. But deep within beats a a heart simply wanting to help, however many times you maybe get it wrong. I say thank God you are on our side, the side of democracy, however flawed.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2018-06-30 12:55:28 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

If at first you don't succeed, for the love of God, never do it again.

Submitted by redskieslookfake at 2018-06-30 04:48:55 EDT (#)

I like that you’re trying, but my god this is awful.

Kids, kids, kids. As far as Daddy's concerned, you're both potential

-- Homer Simpson
Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part 2)