login / register
Every time you get insulted, you fire off a tired partisan rant with your usual lack of conviction.
Welcome to Ubersite!

Yep, Still Alive. And Still Haven't Figured Out What For.

Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome at 2018-08-12 04:01:20 EDT
Rating: 0.92 on 15 ratings (19 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Over 40 now. Middle age. Carved out a corner in a house, a house that is part mine/part bank's. Alienated from friends, family, world. Watching 4 walls breathe. Checking their pulse. Tossing flaming fireballs into the void, listening for a splash that never comes. Time still ticking away as always, driving kids upward toward adulthood, and me toward old age. I am no vampire. No eternal life will save me from this slow entropy. Snot-nosed punks get taller, grab the reigns of power, and I feel old. I want to cut them all down to size, but I don't want them on my lawn. A sucker is born every minute, but there's a new brand of sucker now, it seems. Or have I just forgotten what being one was like? You never remember being a sucker. You only remember that first moment of awakening and everything after. They'll never know a world where all things are turned off, a world where the crickets speak wisdom in the blackness, facing away from the sun...staring off toward the abyss. A world backlit by a low-hanging moon, with silhouettes of cedar trees against the Milky Way. The 60-cycle hum of humanity permeates every quiet corner and rattles the lucid dreamer to sleep, while the neighbor's smart meter radiates the brain and bones.

Review This Item




Submitted by tinactin at 2019-02-07 14:18:06 EST (#)
Rating: 0

You were always too self-involved.

Submitted by BranDo at 2019-01-10 05:53:30 EST (#)

Hi there, it's simple, to die... everyone is born to die, you decide what you do in between.
I kinda thought you already knew that years ago. Did midlife come early?

Glad you are alive and Über is still up and crawling! Cheers

Submitted by Hadley at 2018-12-09 22:53:33 EST (#)

Well if this nutjob showed up, I guess I should too

Submitted by the_lone_stranger at 2018-11-22 23:34:41 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Hits close to home.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2018-09-19 18:52:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Walls breathing
Smart meter radiation

Its a beautiful day in the neighborhood

Submitted by Murphy1844 at 2018-09-12 01:23:37 EDT (#)

I sense that you haven’t carefully thought about your audience. Or, for that matter, what your point is. Nail those things, and the words ought to follow.


Submitted by Shlongy at 2018-09-04 12:14:28 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Perkman is broken. HAHA That should have it's own webcast.

Submitted by Bestmate2 at 2018-08-31 16:27:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Liked it.
Human incredulity at how inane our existence is, is hard to grasp. Our brain’s are programmed to not quite believe the utter blankness and noanswerableness (sic) of our existence.
OK. To put the cat amongst the pigeons ( quaint English saying), the only possible answer to this continual madness of earthly being, is Jesus and his message. There I have said it, and woe is me.

Submitted by Perk "Grownman Perkiness" man at 2018-08-25 23:47:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

They've broken you... They've broken me too.

It's sad, but we can do nothing to change the world, I joined the muck.. Even if you did, you wouldn't get to enjoy it.. Sad.

Good to hear you're still alive though.

Submitted by Hashtag at 2018-08-25 06:45:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

You still try to sound like a tormented artist though...even over 40.

Submitted by X54 at 2018-08-21 18:46:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I recommend drinking yourself to death.

Submitted by monsieurstabby at 2018-08-20 19:47:10 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by OathMeal at 2018-08-13 14:40:39 EDT (#)

Who gives a fuck

Submitted by Shlongy at 2018-08-13 09:40:19 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

I'm gonna buy a bunch of stock in Tin Foil...

Submitted by Tormentos at 2018-08-13 09:25:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Glad to know that you didn't meet an early and violent end. Hope you are glad too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFvTTVGfg1w&t=2343s <---Oathmeal: this is how you home studio

Submitted by messmind at 2018-08-13 07:45:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

You noticed that ball of goo between your ears? It needs some reprogramming.

don't buy, do it yourself :D

Submitted by HurtByTheSun at 2018-08-12 17:56:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Better than anything perkman has ever written, or will for that matter.

Submitted by TigerLilly at 2018-08-12 15:22:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Dru M at 2018-08-12 10:22:21 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Well, you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just
have to read the manual and press the right button.

-- Homer Simpson
Homer Defined