login / register
Violence is for those who cannot convince with logic. You believe that means you.
Welcome to Ubersite!

My little love birds

Submitted by Bestmate2 at 2019-02-14 16:29:13 EST
Rating: -1.2 on 9 ratings (15 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Now look, I acknowledge that this site has an odour of belching, farting masculinity. That if the slightest whiff of bald romance invaded your space, in would go the belly muscles and out would invade the flatulence. All of you, my dear dear friends, are secure in your minds and breeches. Whether you dress to the right or the left, or leave a tantalising smear a midships, your proclivity is not of debate. So on this day of delved troth, I ask a simple question. Have you done yourselves justice? You may gainsay my proposition, but I suspect that in your very heart of hearts, underneath the stab vests and tuxedos, your romantic selves may have peeped above. Whether the recipient is willied or not, love is love.
Happy Valentines Day to all my admirers, yes even you!

Review This Item




Submitted by Charlie at 2019-05-22 04:08:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Dru M at 2019-02-28 17:04:21 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Fake limey. At least pretend to be a better nationality

Submitted by Bestmate2 at 2019-02-28 17:01:19 EST (#)

Dru, my little cherub, why the bile? Why the hate? I realise that naughty and nasty is de rigueur for this most masculine of forums, but one can only puff out one’s chest and hitch up one’s britches, so many times before tiffin! But hey oh, what would our favourite soap box be without good old Dru, venting forth in such whiskered wad chewing, fashion?

Submitted by Dru M at 2019-02-27 18:47:01 EST (#)
Rating: -2

The only thing I hate more than limeys is fake limeys

Submitted by Bestmate2 at 2019-02-27 17:12:22 EST (#)

My dear Murphy, I do believe that this is the first time we have communicated direct and I am pleased to do so. Indeed, I am aglow that you even bothered. If I am mistaken on the incidence of any past intercourse, then please excuse my tardiness in not checking.
I must confess you perspicacity is admirable. I am often in my cups I confess, when I dare to tippi-toe into the white hot couldron of this forum. One misplaced adjective, or even worse, a sloppy conjunction, and hell hath no fury like the sacred host descending down to rip asunder your very vitals!

Submitted by Murphy1844 at 2019-02-26 22:24:33 EST (#)

Well you were obviously drunk or high or both when you wrote this, but I see some potential here.

Here's something strange, and this comes from an American perspective. I love native slang in English. I can't get enough of it. When I watch The Office UK version, I absolutely don't get it, because the language is inaccessible.

If you write again, leverage this, and skip the pretentious prose. This seems somewhat artful but in a very shitty way.


Submitted by Bestmate2 at 2019-02-24 17:20:38 EST (#)

Hi DaBeast
Loved your piece.
The images were quite arousing in a dungeony sort of way.
You certainly live up to your nomenclature, with such dark and utterly delicious thoughts. However, so detailed a finale, leads me to surmise that a nascent pédale signals across the “briny”.
But so what, I say, let’s live and let live, it’s what dear old Uber is all about is it not?

Submitted by DaBeast at 2019-02-19 23:28:34 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Put a cigarette between your lips, any brand, any length, whatever flavor. Drag deep and slow on the one end while you flick the other end to cherry bright. Feel the toxins drying your inner lips, splashing against your tongue, tickling at your tonsils, swirling down your esophagus, blooming in your lungs like death's flower and close your eyes, watch flashbulb fireworks as the ceiling light hits the veins in the lids and sets them aflame.

Then take the cigarette from out your mouth, unzip your fly, and put the cigarette out by grinding that cherry bright gleam into your dick hole.

Don't reproduce.

Like, ever.

Submitted by asmasta808 at 2019-02-17 21:52:55 EST (#)
Rating: -2

cry my tears you dirty normies.

Submitted by Dru M at 2019-02-15 16:31:01 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Prove it.

Submitted by Bestmate2 at 2019-02-15 16:05:53 EST (#)

Dru, honestly! Would an American really pretend to be a Brit? Most citizens I have met, who hail from the land of the free, have never given the impression of an insecurity of lineage. No, I am really really really, a saggy arsed Englishman, ruined by the Public School system, but grateful for it’s ability to imbue British phlegm. We of that said system are used to abuse and the unfortunate proclivities of our master’s (school teachers). As such, I take the your moron “tag” in the spiriti I’m sure it was intended and join in the merriment and accept your ribbing, you rascal!!

Submitted by Shlongy at 2019-02-15 09:36:48 EST (#)
Rating: -2

I think it's so he can wear a beret without guilt.

Submitted by Dru M at 2019-02-14 17:40:34 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Why is this moron pretending to be a Limey?

Submitted by Bestmate2 at 2019-02-14 17:19:14 EST (#)

Dru, my dear, you are teasing. Odor in the Queen’s English would pronounce “Odd-or”. Where as the “ our”, rounds the word and the meaning. Faintly, onomatopoeic, it enables one’s tongue to linger on the roof of one’s bouche. An exercise not inappropriate to the day of Saint Valentine.
My oh my, you Americans are so frivolous with your bequeathed language. Nevertheless, we at this side of the pond , do find it a tad naughty, but always endearingly cute.

Submitted by Dru M at 2019-02-14 16:52:12 EST (#)
Rating: -2


I may just quit my job at the plant to become a full-time stock market

-- Homer Simpson
Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerke