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The "Your Day" Project

Submitted by Murphy1844 at 2019-02-27 00:04:12 EST
Rating: -0.8 on 5 ratings (13 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

It goes something like this.

Talk about one single ordinary day in exactly eight points. The first point is "Wake." The last point is "Sleep." So you have eight points to fill in. Here's the template:

1. Wake
2. Something
3. Something
4. Something
5. Something
6. Something
7. Something
8. Something
9. Something
10. Sleep

Replace Something with something.

Let's see how this experiment goes...


Review This Item




Submitted by DaBeast at 2019-03-07 01:22:22 EST (#)

If we're going to be minimalist about this, then let's do it correctly.

1. Wake
2. Bathroom
3. Bedroom
4. Car
5. Phone
6. Computer
7. Car
8. Bathroom
9. Bedroom
10. Sleep


Submitted by Murphy1844 at 2019-03-06 01:08:46 EST (#)

I like the responses.

@red: Aren't we all amateurs?

@McBain: I'm guessing this took you about thirty seconds to respond. In those same thirty seconds, if you were good, you could have jammed a magazine in to a Glock for example and racked a bullet and sent it through your brain not that I'm suggesting you do that.

@Best: Is this cockney stuff? Either way, if it is or isn't, I love the language you're using. I wish more W. Europeans would use this slang because I think it's rad.

@Fucking: Simple. Can't go wrong.

@Tormentos: I'm trying to find a new job, and thank you for helping motivate me.

@asm: You're trolling and it's obvious. I'm only acknowledging you to be consistent.

@Flack: I love jobs like that. They pay for 40, you work for maybe 15 and just keep your mouth shut about it.

@Yes: Try the "Metamucil Challenge." I read reviews on Metamucil on Amazon and one guy wrong something like "One huge dump with one wipe!" with five stars. It takes some effort, and about 3 days to kick in, but you'll get the most fantastic dumps you've ever had. The ones with really clean endings that sound and feel purposeful and deliberate. Depending on your confidence, you can just pull up your pants without wiping at all! (Skip the "insurance wipe"... again, this takes a lot of confidence.)

@Fucking again: Because it's 5% shitting, 90% trying to find new porn to jack off to, and 5% jacking off.


Submitted by Fucking foul at 2019-03-05 11:38:56 EST (#)

Why does it take men so long to shit? Subquestion - do all of you have diarrhea every time you shit? Must be all the jerking off.

Submitted by Yes at 2019-03-04 21:46:06 EST (#)

1. Wake
2. Poop for 25 minutes
3. Get ready (shower/teeth/dress)
4. Drive to work
5. Harvest plasma from poor people for 8hrs
6. Drive home
7. Play video games
8. Eat dinner
9. Masturbate furiously and/or cry
10. Sleep

Submitted by Flack at 2019-03-01 09:41:31 EST (#)
Rating: 0

1. Wake up after hitting snooze 6-7 times
2. Get dressed, brush teeth, take shit, forget to put on foot powder, take off shoes and socks, put on foot powder, put shoes and socks back on, warm up car.
3. Cappuccino on the way to work.
4. Arrive at work, browse reddit for 2 hours.
5. Do about 3-5 hours of actual work.
6. More reddit
7. Leave work and run/ jiu jitsu/ yoga
8. Band practice or general instrument practice
9. Watch TV/ Movie/ Stupid internet videos
10. Masturbate and sleep

Submitted by asmasta808 at 2019-02-28 10:43:20 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Murphy wore a MAGA hat at the prolife crusade. Sic ;em!!!

Submitted by Tormentos at 2019-02-28 06:53:48 EST (#)

Submitted by Murphy1844 at 2019-02-27 00:11:21 EST (#)
6. Clench my fists while working because I hate what I'm doing so hard I can barely take it
In an economy with low unemployment and (admittedly slowly) rising wages, why would you do this? If you're in the US it's actually not hard to find a job these days, especially if you already have one and want to move to a new one. Bottom line: there's no good reason to hate what you do. Of course, you could always go be a serious writer and write serious literature for a living and be a huge success like J.K. Rowling or Perkman.

Submitted by Dru M at 2019-02-27 18:46:36 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Bestmate stop pretending to a limey fruit

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2019-02-27 18:14:52 EST (#)

1. wake
2. Make breakfast for kid, get him and myself cleaned, dressed and ready
3. school run
4. work
5. errands
6. work more
7. gym
8. homework (kid)/internet (me)
9. chores
10. sleep

Submitted by Bestmate2 at 2019-02-27 17:46:43 EST (#)
Rating: 2

1: Wake
2: Assess extent to which I am hung over. Toddle off to the lavatory then perform one’s general ablutions.
3: Breakfast. Select from the platter, devilled kidneys, Yorkshire black pudding, bacon, toast and shredded marmie, generally.
4: Peruse various media with a keen eye on the 100, 250, Dow and the pesky Nikkei. Good to know if one is still solvent.
5: Dress and consult one’s diary. Order the car and do what one has to do.
6: Home and prepare for the evening. Usually a bath and a snifter ( drink) whilst soaking.
7: Dinner at home, alone or with guests. Weekends out to, or at friends.
8: Up the old apple and pears (stairs) to bed.
9: If with company then a duty to perform. If by oneself then I am afraid onanistic tendency prevails!
10: Sleep

Submitted by McBain at 2019-02-27 10:01:58 EST (#)
Rating: -2

1. Wake
2. S
3. T
4. F
5. U
6. -2
7. D
8. I
9. E
10. Sleep

Submitted by redskieslookfake at 2019-02-27 04:07:17 EST (#)

Off to a bad start. Amateur sociology can fuck off.

Submitted by Murphy1844 at 2019-02-27 00:11:21 EST (#)

My day goes like this:

1. Wake
2. Caffeinate and nicotate
3. Work on websites for like 2 hours because it's fun
4. Masturbate
5. Go to work
6. Clench my fists while working because I hate what I'm doing so hard I can barely take it
7. End work and drown myself in streaming media
8. Take medication to help me sleep
9. Hope to dream of a day that's different from the above
10. Sleep

Marge, you're my wife and I love you very much. But you're living in a
world of makebelieve. With flowers and bells and leprechauns. And magic
frogs with funny little hats...

-- Homer Simpson
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