Batmanning. Cinnamon. Tide Pods. And now it's apparently Soy Sauce. These Kids Today, with their fads...Submitted by skrapmetal at 2019-03-20 17:22:50 EDT
Rating: 2.0 on 8 ratings (11 reviews) (Review this item) (V)
The other weekend MLWaI hosted a small get-together at our place, as we have been known to occasionally do. As usual, we made dinner and served the guests. This time there were six guests; a retired couple from our neighborhood, and two 30-something work-at-home types and their two teenage sons. I believe their ages were given to me as 13yo and 15yo.
Now, normally I don't invite people to bring their kids to my place at all. I don't have children for a reason, and that reason is that they are annoying. I'm sure actual parents don't see their own children this way, but I do. My house, my rules. But in this case, I figured that these two would a) be under the continuous supervision of their parents, b) only be under my lanai roof for a few hours, and c) attempt to be well-behaved to avoid the ire of their parents if not out of respect for their hosts.
We like to prepare the majority of the meal ahead of time and keep it in temperature-appropriate storage while socializing and cooking the main course in the outdoor kitchen, and in this instance it was no different. The meal was of green salad with a nice vinaigrette, green beans and glazed carrots, small oven-roast potatoes, grilled flank steak, and those awesome grilled pear halves with gorgonzola and maple syrup. All of that, save the pears and steak, were done ahead of time and awaitied serving.
Now, dear reader, as you are doubtless aware, there are any number of ways to cook a flank steak. I myself use several, and in this instance it was to be one I had not done before. This method involved marinating the steaks for several hours and some treatments just before and during grilling, and one of the 'during' treatments is the judicious and careful application of a small amount of good soy sauce. To that end, I had one of my better ones out and ready for use. It is Yamaroku "Tsuru Bishio", from Japan. It's not really rare - you can buy it on Amazon - but it's not cheap since it's actually made by people who know what they're doing, by hand, in wooden barrels, and it's aged 4 years. I bought a bottle and had used up about 10% of it at the time of this dinner party. It is very strong and very flavorful, so you do not use much of it.
The conversation found its way to internet challenges, from Batmanning to Planking to Cinnamon to Tide Pods. The older child talked about having eaten a Tide Pod after being challenged to do so, and his parents sheepishly admitted that his story was true. He wasn't harmed by it, and he mother said she had to demand that the younger one not follow suit and even go so far as to lock up the remaining Pods until they were used up in the laundry. As one who played Pass Out as a kid, I can understand the fascination with pushing your limits but intentionally eating things that you know can kill you to prove how hard you are doesn't make sense to me as an adult. But whatever, maybe Darwin has a point.
As I was preparing the steaks, I opened the bottle of soy sauce and remarked that it was quite strong. The older child asked to taste it, so I put a drop on a spoon and gave it to him. He tasted it and said it was awful. Of course it is, kid, if you just put it on your tongue. It's supposed to enhance the flavor of other things, not be the flavor. He wandered off and talked to his brother while I cooked, and we served and ate. Delish.
After the meal, we were talking around the table and the two children asked to go out into the yard to walk around the path we have back there. Mom and Dad let them go, and we kept talking. A few minutes later we hear the older one shouting, and he came racing back into the lanai saying his brother was sick. We all ran out and found the younger kid on the ground, doubled over, covered in brown vomit, and the empty bottle of Yamaroku near his hand. Apparently the older kid had challenged him to drink the entire bottle, and the stupid little shit did it.
Now, Yamaroku is strong in flavor, but it also has a lot of sodium in it. One tablespoon of it has more than 40% of the sodium you're supposed to have in a day, if you're an average adult without heart troubles. This sub-100lb kid drank about 30 tablespoons. That much sodium at once can just kill you. Fortunately, the kid vommed it out before he absorbed too much, but his parents still took him to the ER as a precaution.
Last Saturday, the kid's Dad stopped by and gave me another bottle of Yamaroku, to replace the one his moron kid destroyed. That's the one you see in the picture. I've used it on some rice and fish. Turns out the kid's alright and will suffer no long-term effects from trying to poison himself on expensive fermented bean squeezins. We had a short conversation about why children let themselves be goaded into doing stuff like that, but I guess there is no explaining it. Maybe if you get all that out of your system early, you'll either die or not be tempted any more? I dunno, but it seems like internet fads and challenges are becoming more foolish and dangerous over time.
And I hear Pass Out is making a comeback.