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Donovan's 2004 Oscar Picks

Submitted by ryandonovan at 2004-02-19 10:05:18 EST
Rating: 1.05 on 54 ratings (54 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

DONOVAN’S OSCAR PROGNOSTICATION 2004

Why would I waste my time commenting on such self-important trinkets? Because I myself am self-important – it is a quality I hold very dear. Need proof? Just look at how long this frickin’ article is. Or observe how I brag about discovering nominees Lost In Translation, 21 Grams, and Pieces Of April at the Toronto Film Fest half a year ago.

Indulgent self-importance is why I demand you read my pretentious article about this pretentious pony parade. It is a ceremony fueled by the id. And I love the id; it is what keeps blood pumping through my veins. You are also driven by the id; otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this article, nor would you be interested in the Oscars.

Need proof? Do you know Ben and J.Lo’s current status? Do you know whether Britney has ever been married in Vegas? Have you seen Janet’s breast? Have you browsed the internet for pictures of Janet’s breast? Did you happen to see Janet’s breast over and over on your TiVo? Is Janet’s breast currently on your screen saver?

So stop fooling yourself, tell your ego and superego to shut up, and indulge in my totally meaningless Fifth Annual Oscar predictions. As usual, I’ll tell you who WILL win, and who SHOULD win. And as a new addition this year, I’ll offer choices on who was gloriously omitted and who was ingloriously snubbed.

BEST PICTURE:
SHOULD WIN: The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King
WILL WIN: The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King
GLORIOUSLY OMITTED: Cold Mountain
INGLORIOUSLY SNUBBED: 21 Grams

I don’t think there’s any big secret here: The Lord Of The Rings will win Best Picture. I’ll refer to it by the name of the trilogy, because that is what’s being rewarded – the entire series. And I’ll agree: Of all the nominees, LOTR deserves to win. But I’m having a hard time endorsing it. Here’s my problem: It’s a sequel. It’s a SEQUEL. I can’t believe that nobody is as blown away by this as I am. There’s been nothing even near this in Oscar history. The closest parallels were actresses that were ignored for a first film, but nominated for Part Deux: Talia Shire for The Godfather Part II and Sigourney Weaver for Aliens. Can you imagine if this had happened before? Best Picture Oscar winners? Rocky III? Return Of The Jedi? Red Dragon? Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade? Jaws 3-D? They are all second sequels to a Best Picture nominee.

But LOTR is different, of course. It was conceived as a trilogy from the start; a single story in three parts. It was not a successful film that for money or ego spawned other additions (I’m not alluding to Star Wars, and may God strike you down for blaspheming). So does that make it okay? Yes and no. By virtue of being the third act, it resembles a more complete story, and has finality. But it was born in an age where sequels are prefabricated as soon as the first one garners favorable test scores. It is a direct result of a culture that rewards safe, predictable behemoths. Could one of the mavericks of the 1970s have pulled this off? Making three films at once, all one story? No, not even Francis Ford Coppola (make no mistake, The Godfather Part II was given birth by the first film’s success). Am I being unfair to LOTR? Of course I am. My point is that this is unprecedented, and nobody seems to care but me. I think change is bad, unless I think change is good.

The other films in this category don’t quite stand up to LOTR. For my money, Mystic River is the closest. Lost In Translation, Master And Commander, and Seabiscuit are all great films, but in some abstract way, don’t feel like the “best”. Thankfully, Cold Mountain, one of the most hyped year-end Oscar hopefuls, was not nominated. I would say that the omission serves megalomaniacal puppeteer Harvey Weinstein right, but I fear that he would have me killed or eaten.

So, what would I award as Best Picture this year? Out of all the “contenders”, I’d probably give it to 21 Grams, edging out American Splendor. But what was truly the BEST movie of the year? Honestly? Old School.

BEST ACTOR:
SHOULD WIN: Sean Penn (Mystic River)
WILL WIN: Sean Penn (Mystic River)
GLORIOUSLY OMITTED: Tom Cruise (The Last Samurai)
INGLORIOUSLY SNUBBED: Paul Giamatti (American Splendor)

The only two really fighting for this award are Bill Murray and Sean Penn. The voters know it. The question is: What rationale will the voters use to cast their ballot? You’d think the answer would be easy: They will vote for the Best Performance. You’d be wrong. People will vote for Sean Penn on the strength of both Mystic River and 21 Grams. They will also consider Penn’s entire career, for which he has roped 3 previous nominations, but never won. On the other hand, people will vote for Murray, unanimously considered the classiest of classy, for the same reason – his entire life’s work, which has been retrospectively viewed as holy. And, they might see this as Murray’s only real shot at winning the award, where Penn will doubtless have other opportunities. Then again, these are the same voters that denied Murray a nomination for Rushmore (a superior performance, in my opinion). Voters will consider politics, where Penn has been particularly outspoken. They will also consider Academy reverence, of which Penn has absolutely none; he vocally despises the very idea of the Awards. Fortunately for Penn, the voters are his peers – they are just as eccentric and egotistical as he is. And he has lightened up on his anti-awards stance, and will likely show up to the shizow. In the end, Penn will win. And personally, I think it will be recognition overdue for his spectacular cameo in Being John Malkovich, endorsing puppeteering in Malkatraz’s untrue Hollywood Story clip.

As for the also-rans, I am disappointed with the nomination of Jude Law. He and Nicole Kidman in Cold Mountain were the least interesting leads I have seen in a long time; it didn’t help that they were overshadowed by host of dazzling supporting actors, including Renee Zellweger, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Giovanni Ribisi, Natalie Portman, Jena Malone, and Jack White (yes, of the White Stripes). People applaud Law’s “understated” performance; I call it “lazy”. And the deadwood courtship between Law and Kidman? I never use the word “retarded”, but their love affair was absolutely retarded. The biggest beef I have about Law’s nomination is that he has taken the place of a more deserving actor, namely Paul Giamatti. A character actor by trade (and a homely one at that), Giamatti may never get another realistic shot at a nomination. Also more deserving than Law was Russell Crowe… however, I’m glad he didn’t get a nod. He fell into a familiar trap, which the Academy thankfully punished: Broody, burley, brawling Russell Crowe played broody, burley, brawling Capt. Jack Aubrey. You might be good, but the Academy will bite you if you’re not daring. Instead, they welcomed a different pirate, Johnny Depp. Now THAT was a daring role. Was it better than Crowe’s? Arguably not. But it was fresh. It wasn’t Depp’s best work, but it’s good to see him in the club, finally. He doesn’t have a prayer at winning, though – voters leaning toward comedy will vote for Murray.

BEST ACTRESS:
SHOULD WIN: Charlize Theron (Monster)
WILL WIN: Charlize Theron (Monster)
GLORIOUSLY OMITTED: Nicole Kidman (Cold Mountain)
INGLORIOUSLY SNUBBED: Scarlett Johansson’s pink panties (Lost In Translation)

Whale Rider was certainly a surprise nominee, but it’s nice to see Keshia Knight-Pulliam finally getting some recognition after her spectacularly precocious work as Rudy on The Cosby Show. This category, like the previous one, is a two-dog race (my apologies to Naomi Watts and Samantha Morton, both of whom turned in outstanding performances). Will it be Charlize Theron or Diane Keaton? Again, drama and grit versus comedy and sweetness. It’s almost absurd to choose between such polar opposites, which in this case makes the Golden Globe dual-award format very sensible. In such a race, the smart money says, bet on the drama. I guess it’s an obvious statement, but I’ll say it anyway: Comedy is hard to take seriously. However, complicating the equation is that Keaton is a well-respected and seasoned vet, no stranger to nominations. Her film, Something’s Gotta Give, was seen by millions. Theron is a rookie to the heavy scene, never before considered an award-caliber (or even capable) actress. Her film, Monster, was seen by dozens.

It will come down to this: narcissism. Specifically, the narcissism of the female Academy voters. Who do those catty gals hate less? They indulge in the fact that Theron looks rancid in her film, but loath her because they know in reality she is gorgeous. They feel invigorated when they see Keaton looking so great at such an autumnal age, but then hate that bitch for looking so great at such at old haggish age. Theron’s not winning any votes by stressing in interviews how long and hard she worked to look that horrible, when most women look that horrible on their best days. Then again, this category loves to reward the pretty ingénue (Halle Berry, Gwyneth Paltrow, even Keaton herself fifty-three years ago). The difference will be the Jack Factor. In the movies, Jack Nicholson romances the golden-aged lady. In the movies, Keaton wins. But in reality, Jack bangs (or more precisely, donkey-punches) the hot young beav. In reality, Theron wins.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR:
SHOULD WIN: Tim Robbins (Mystic River)
WILL WIN: Tim Robbins (Mystic River)
GLORIOUSLY OMITTED: William H. Macy (Seabiscuit)
INGLORIOUSLY SNUBBED: Paul Bettany (Master And Commander); Don Cheadle (Manic); Chris Cooper (Seabiscuit)

You want a reason why Tim Robbins will beat out Alec Baldwin, both of whom are venerable veterans scoring their first nominations? I’ll give you four of them. 1) Robbins has had better roles and has been more respected over his career than Baldwin. 2) Baldwin played a better asshole in Glengarry Glen Ross. 3) Baldwin is, well, a Baldwin. 4) Duh! Robbins gave a better performance than Baldwin. Oscar wannabes Ken Watanabe, Benicio Del Toro, and Djimon Hounsou won’t win because their roles were far less showy and far less white.

More interesting are the folks that weren’t nominated. I never thought I’d say this, but thankfully, that includes William H. Macy. I love him, but gosh darn, his role in Seabiscuit was nothing more than a brainless gag, a helium-inflated caricature, a laughless comic reliever, and quite obviously the only character not included in Laura Hillenbrand’s novel. A nomination would have mocked Macy’s better but unrecognized work. On the other hand, the Academy missed the masterful performance by Chris Cooper in the same movie. This artisan could teach Jude Law a thing or twelve about “understated” acting. Another great performer was Paul Bettany in Master And Commander, who is getting better with each successive role he plays. He may not have been quite up to Oscar contention this year, but certainly will be soon. But don’t feel too bad – he’ll pass the time suckling Jennifer Connelly’s milky teat. And then there’s Don Cheadle in Manic, a movie I know you’ve never seen – your loss.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS:
SHOULD WIN: Patricia Clarkson (Pieces Of April)
WILL WIN: Renee Zellweger (Cold Mountain)
GLORIOUSLY OMITTED: Maria Bello (The Cooler)
INGLORIOUSLY SNUBBED: Hope Davis (American Splendor)

Typically worthless, this category has gotten a bit more exciting the last couple of years, thanks to the improved quality of roles available for consideration. Hopefully this is a sign of things to come. Imagine that – a world where there are GOOD supporting roles for women in Hollywood (of course, to get the roles, women will still have to sleep with Lew Wasserman). This year, in fact, there is not enough room in the Kodak Theater for all the quality performances: Hope Davis was sadly shunned for American Splendor.

As it turns out, this is one of only two categories where I think the actual winner will deviate from my personal choice. I’m a sucker for Marcia Gay Harden, but Mystic River wasn’t even her best work this year – she was better in Casa De Los Babys. Shohreh Aghaldkjicsdkfsloo was too overshadowed by Ben Kingsley in House Of Sand And Fog to be a real contender. And Holly Hunter in Thirteen was ignored by audiences waiting impatiently for the two junior high girls to make out.

The educated minority of Oscar voters are screaming at the tops of their lungs, “Patricia Clarkson gave a superior performance in Pieces Of April, and for that matter, every indie film over the last six years!” But unfortunately, the majority of Oscar voters – and the majority of you – are saying, “Patricia who? Oh, isn’t she in that Kurt Russell hockey movie?” The problem for Clarkson – besides her anonymity and the film’s gross box office of $20.75 – is that that Pieces Of April was almost unanimously panned (despite a semi-positive review by me a few months ago). Most agree Clarkson was literally the only good thing about the film. Redeeming the film with an Oscar would be too illogical. So instead, Zellweger, the popular favorite, will win.

BEST DIRECTOR:
SHOULD WIN: Peter Jackson (The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King)
WILL WIN: Peter Jackson (The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King)
GLORIOUSLY OMITTED: Anthony Mighella (Cold Mountain)
INGLORIOUSLY SNUBBED: Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu (21 Grams)

It is shocking that the press is not making a bigger deal out of the fact that Sofia Coppola is only the third woman (and first American woman) ever to be nominated in this category (see my rant in last year’s Oscar article). It is shocking, but also fantastic. That means that Coppola is being accoladed based on her own merits, not on the agendas and sympathies of lobbyists and activists. She is not winning a battle, she is not opening a door. She is making movies. She is not a top female director; she is a top director – no prejudicial adjectives necessary. The irony is not lost on me, by the way, that by speaking about this, I become that which I denounce, and I compromise that which I praise. That’s just the kind of asshole I am.

But lo, she will not win. Is it a shame that she will lose, when she has the opportunity to become the first female winner ever? Of course not. She was simply not the best director this year. Giving her the award anyway would… well, re-read the previous paragraph. Instead, the victor will – and should – be Peter Jackson. And of course, the same argument that I made about Best Picture, regarding the strangeness of the circumstances, applies here. So, while I love to read myself write, I won’t repeat myself (although I will point out that this category has the added twist that Jackson wasn’t even nominated for The Two Towers).

The charity nomination (the Academy’s attempt to be hip and give “mad props dizzle” to a hot young director) this year goes to Fernando Meirelles for City Of God. All he needs to seal his “New It” status is to direct a BMW online film and helm a movie in the Alien franchise. Since there are no convicted child molesters to vote for this year, the real competition for Jackson will come from Clint Eastwood, who created something special with Mystic River. But wait a minute… Throwing a deliciously dastardly wrench into the works is the surprise British BAFTA win by Master And Commander’s Peter Weir. That could mean an upset at the Oscars… but then again, the Brits were also wrong about a little war in the late 1700s.

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY:
SHOULD WIN: Lost In Translation
WILL WIN: Lost In Translation
GLORIOUSLY OMITTED: Love Actually
INGLORIOUSLY SNUBBED: 21 Grams

I’m not sure what happened to this category this year. It’s usually my favorite, but this year it includes an eclectic array of films, most of which I have no particular interest in seeing. And it left out possibly the best script of the year, 21 Grams. While it may not nab any of the other prizes, Lost In Translation (and writer/director Sofia Coppola) should come home with Best Original Screenplay. Small consolation perhaps, but it’s the award the film deserves. Finding Nemo has a lot of supporters, but its guaranteed Animated Feature victory will hurt its chances here.

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY:
SHOULD WIN: Mystic River
WILL WIN: The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King
GLORIOUSLY OMITTED: Cold Mountain
INGLORIOUSLY SNUBBED: Master And Commander; Girl With A Pearl Earring

The heavy screenplay hitters this year are all of the Adapted variety. The scripts were so strong and source material so beloved that not even Master And Commander, a deft blend of two books, made the cut. Also left out was Girl With A Pearl Earring, an amazingly tender and surprisingly compelling script based on a critically lauded book. And fortunately, the Academy didn’t have to feel guilty about leaving out Cold Mountain, which was considered a shoe-in merely weeks ago. In case you hadn’t been paying attention, The Lord Of The Rings will win everything it’s nominated for, including screenplay. But I am going to deviate from the popular vote once again, and root for Mystic River. To its credit, LOTR has the unified vision of screenwriter and director in wizardly Peter Jackson. And it was perhaps the riskiest and most ambitious series of books ever to be adapted. But goddam, the Mystic River script just hums. True, the superb acting made the horse drink, but the script took it to water.

Has your id had enough? I’ll leave you with a few more meaningless choices in other categories that were snubbed by the Academy:

Best Song: Dave Matthews – “Some Devil” (21 Grams)
Best Score – Girl With A Pearl Earring
Best Documentary Feature – Lost In La Mancha; A Decade Under The Influence
Best Film Editing – 21 Grams



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Reviews


Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-07-10 17:50:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

I think the Whale rider girl is the twin sister of Boba Fett from Attack of the Clones. But honestly, they do look very similar.

Submitted by Quetzallan at 2004-07-01 00:23:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Only one problem - The girl who played the lead in whale rider, keisha somethingorother WASNT the kid who played Rudi huxtable

Submitted by anarki_2k2 at 2004-05-10 19:13:50 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

obviously a homo, MYSTIC FUCKING RIVER?

Submitted by Rosencrantz at 2004-05-04 10:38:35 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Boring.

Submitted by chipolatte at 2004-03-30 19:59:18 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Unfortunately, I have yet to see ANY of the competing (and former) Best Actor movies, but I do know that I loved LOTR. Does that make me a credible source on what SHOULD (have) won? No, but I still really liked LOTR.

Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-03-19 11:39:22 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Um, just to let you all know... Cold Mountain is a book.

Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-03-07 16:45:39 EST (#)
Rating: -2

First of all the Keisha from the Cosby show isnt the Keisha from Whale Rider.
Secondly Cold Mountain was never a book or anything else besides a screenplay therefore never could be up for "best adapted screen play",therefore it couldn't be gloriously omitted from the running!
I personally think you are wrong about everything said about Cold Mountain, but it is your opinion.

Submitted by IndianOcean at 2004-03-05 03:30:09 EST (#)
Rating: 2

21 Grams IS THE BEST MOVIE THIS Year.. should be no question about that.. but that's not how it works.

Submitted by JMG114 at 2004-03-03 15:33:02 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Good stuff, back at ya.

Submitted by hendrixjrr at 2004-02-23 11:20:43 EST (#)
Rating: 1

In conclusion: Ryan Donnovan hated Cold Mountain.

Submitted by Flatuloso at 2004-02-23 01:49:44 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Great post, a really enjoyable read as always. I don't think I'm at liberty to judge most of your calls so I won't say if I think you're wrong or right. However you did just make me want to see American Splendor that much more.

Bastaaaaaaard!

Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-02-20 16:20:32 EST (#)
Rating: 2

LOVE the new addition of "Gloriously Omitted" and "Ingloriously Snubbed"! And I was tickled pink with your G.O. Best Actor selection, Tom Cruise, whose mere mega-watt smile, Hollywood presence crushed any validity this war epic ever had. He's this year's Julia Roberts of Erin Brokavich- waaaaaay to big for the role. Not to mention the fact that he was banking on this being his year too.. tsk tsk...

I'm guessing that Bill Murray will just barely oust Sean Penn for Best Actor, both are SO good, but I think Murray subtle performance stays with you longer. Or maybe that's just the impact of the film, which delivers a finer finale than "Mystic River's" loose-ends conclusion.

Submitted by SixThousand at 2004-02-20 00:24:52 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Ryan - Okay, that makes sense. Got it.

Submitted by Hsibaf at 2004-02-20 00:15:13 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Glenngary Glen Ross was a disappointment at too many times to be considered "great." I did enjoy it though.

Submitted by Bigmike at 2004-02-20 00:03:02 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Nice job.

Mystic River was great and Sean Penn deserves the oscar.

Tim Robbins was great in that film as well.

I heralded Charlize Therons performance in my most recent review here. The movie was ok but her performance was spectacular.

I thought Master and Commander was a good film as well, but Russell Crowe just isn't gonna make it for that one. It was a good solid performance though. That film should win something. It was spectacularly made.

LOTR held everybody's fascination and it should have. There is no better trilogy. Star Wars 4-6 maybe but that's like comparing apples to oranges. I feel lucky to have been able to enjoy both on the big screen during their heydays.

If I could get paid to watch movies and critique them I think that would be heaven.

Oh, and Glengarry Glen Ross was on the other night. That movie is great. Jack Lemmon kicks ass.

First Prize-Brand new car

Second prize-steak knives

Third prize-you're fucking fired

Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-02-19 23:19:30 EST (#)
Rating: 2

good post.
Pieces of April is a good movie and Patricia Clarkson does deserve to win. I haven't seen most of the other movies though.

Submitted by reallybored at 2004-02-19 13:46:31 EST (#)
Rating: 0

You certainly have watched a fucking shit-ton of movies.


Submitted by The.Masked.Assailant at 2004-02-19 12:43:59 EST (#)
Rating: 1


Submitted by AJ at 2004-02-19 12:37:58 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Go right ahead and fuck my mother, but it's been done before.

Submitted by Quartermain at 2004-02-19 12:35:08 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I've not seen 'Lost In Translation' myself, although God knows I've heard enough about it that I feel like I've seen it. To be honest, as much as I tend to like Bill Murray, the previews didn't really grab me.

As for the rest, I've read the books that 'Master and Commander' was made from, but have yet to see the movie. I'm kind of skittish about books made from movies. Its a cliche that the movie is never as good.

With 'Lord of the Rings' and 'War and Peace' being the exceptions to the rule.

Submitted by ryandonovan at 2004-02-19 12:34:54 EST (#)
Rating: 0

SixThousand - Actually, a better parellel than the ones I suggested would be Paul Newman, who was nominated (but lost) for the Hustler, and won for the sequel, The Color Of Money.

Submitted by The.Masked.Assailant at 2004-02-19 12:29:58 EST (#)
Rating: -2

fuck me? Fuck YOU!

no, wait. Fuck your mother!

Submitted by ryandonovan at 2004-02-19 12:29:34 EST (#)
Rating: 0

SixThousand - My point about LOTR vs. Godfather for Best Picture was that The Godfather (Part I) WON best picture, but Fellowship Of The Ring did not. Return Of The King will be the first sequel to win best picture where the original did not.

Submitted by AJ at 2004-02-19 12:25:08 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Fuck you, dude. You wouldn't know a good post if it chopped off your pecker.

Submitted by The.Masked.Assailant at 2004-02-19 12:20:39 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Hyp

o

crites

Submitted by K.M at 2004-02-19 12:16:55 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by AJ at 2004-02-19 12:16:17 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I'm with you on this one, K.M.

Submitted by The.Masked.Assailant at 2004-02-19 12:08:56 EST (#)
Rating: -2

"not lame fucktards that want to start shit"


yo mamma bitch

Submitted by K.M at 2004-02-19 12:05:03 EST (#)
Rating: 2

OK, That is another way of stating it. But I think that I am going to Camp Out on this post for a while, because we need more input like this. We have to show the support for intelligent people, like Donovan, and not lame fucktards that want to start shit. I recognize how hypocritical that may sound considering I spearheaded the effort to keep fingerbang. But that was only to make sure he could keep posting. I don’t’ think I ever replied to one of his posts.

Congrats again on an awesome post. You should probably start submitting these into newspapers or magazines as a freelancer. Taking into consideration most of the trash that passes for journalism, I think you would fair rather well.

Submitted by Kristen at 2004-02-19 11:56:25 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I'm going to go one step past K.M. and say that "Lost in Translation" blew banana.


Submitted by jeetkunetony at 2004-02-19 11:56:23 EST (#)
Rating: 2

But I must submit one more:

Best Soundtrack: Bodysong (Johnny Greenwood).

You can listen to it for free (whole thing) at http://www.epitonic.com/app/promos/bodysong_promo.jsp

Submitted by ohlookasquirrel at 2004-02-19 11:53:44 EST (#)
Rating: 2

"Is Janet's breast currently on your screen saver?"
sigh, I'm guilty...

Submitted by Quartermain at 2004-02-19 11:47:43 EST (#)
Rating: 2

**Lord of the Rings was way too long and overrated.**

BLASPHEMER!!

Good work. I agree with a lot of your points, especially what you said about Sofia Coppola.

Submitted by K.M at 2004-02-19 11:44:24 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I thought that lost in translation was incredibly over hyped, & I am not just saying that because I didn’t feel the subtle and effective acting on Murray’s part- I did. But I really don’t think that this movie warrants him an Oscar.

Sean Penn, on the other hand, was almost perfect in Mystic River. However, I felt that they almost ruined that movie in the last 15 minutes. I firmly believe that they should have ended it long before the parade. Long before Laura Linney turns into Lady Macbeth and seduces her husband- moments after speaking about their dead child. Long before Kevin Bacon’s wife returns in some hackneyed attempt at rounding off his life, and long before Kevin Bacon gives Sean Penn the wink and the gun.

That severely pissed me off, because it was such a fantastic movie.

But kudos on the article, t’was fucking fantastic. I love the way that you take into account all of the surrounding factors; the politics, the nominee’s careers & personal ideals vs the competition, because that it was the Oscars are all about, their talents being only enough to get them nominated.

Keep it up, this was great.

Submitted by SixThousand at 2004-02-19 11:43:16 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Actually, Godfather 2 won Best Picture in 1974. So the sequel thing has happened.

Submitted by KingFreakingKong at 2004-02-19 11:20:34 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Blah Blah Blah

Submitted by William_Q_Percy at 2004-02-19 10:57:51 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Scathing

Submitted by hcp28 at 2004-02-19 10:57:00 EST (#)
Rating: 2

LOTR was awesome they deserved it. I'm glad that wasn't nearly as bad as I feared it would be when they announced it.

Submitted by youarsoghey at 2004-02-19 10:49:42 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Lord of the Rings was way too long and overrated.

Lost in Translation was the biggest waste of my time.

Submitted by drstrangedhruv at 2004-02-19 10:40:49 EST (#)
Rating: 2

This is bound to get on Boredatwork.

Submitted by The.Masked.Assailant at 2004-02-19 10:33:47 EST (#)
Rating: -2

yeah sorry about that.... i just hate sean penn. he is a pretentious little fuck bastard. his acting is overrated. his best role was with douglas in The Game or something like that. for his last few roles, he has given me the impression that he is over acting in hopes of winning an oscar.

-that war movie with a liberal bias
-he plays a retard
-21 grams
-mystic shithole

FUCK SEAN PENN

Submitted by loki at 2004-02-19 10:29:07 EST (#)
Rating: 2

You seem to have riled up TMA.

Submitted by AJ at 2004-02-19 10:26:43 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by AJ at 2004-02-19 10:26:22 EST (#)
Rating: 2

+2 because TMA is an asshat.

Submitted by The.Masked.Assailant at 2004-02-19 10:22:26 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Monster is pretty good... her girlfriend dies at the end.... hope i didnt ruin the movie for ya

Submitted by The.Masked.Assailant at 2004-02-19 10:21:17 EST (#)
Rating: -2

fuck-tard

Submitted by The.Masked.Assailant at 2004-02-19 10:21:06 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Bill Murray for BEST ACTOR!


-4 for penn

Submitted by loki at 2004-02-19 10:20:09 EST (#)
Rating: 2

** Her film, Monster, was seen by dozens.**

Yup, didn’t see it. Also didn’t see Mystic River but it seems that I am the only one. I loved Lost in Translation but here again, I am the only one. Not really into celebrity so you lost me with well names.

Submitted by Azriel at 2004-02-19 10:17:15 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Best actor will be Bill Murray. You can apologize after the ceremony.

Submitted by AJ at 2004-02-19 10:14:44 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I always enjoy reading these. +2.

Submitted by The.Masked.Assailant at 2004-02-19 10:10:37 EST (#)
Rating: -2

BEST ACTOR:
SHOULD WIN: Sean Penn (Mystic River)




what? that fuckin movie sucked ass!

Submitted by The.Masked.Assailant at 2004-02-19 10:09:17 EST (#)
Rating: -2

LOTR? what the fuck does that mean.... -2

Submitted by loki at 2004-02-19 10:06:26 EST (#)
Rating: 2

WTF I'm not reading all of that.

Submitted by Sideburns at 2004-02-19 10:06:13 EST (#)
Rating: 2

IT'S BACK!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Okay, reading now.



-Sideburns


Mmm...incapacitating.

-- Homer Simpson
The Springfield Connection