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Review Of These Two Bands I Saw A Few Saturdays Ago

Submitted by ryandonovan at 2004-03-26 11:26:44 EST
Rating: 1.92 on 21 ratings (21 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

REVIEW OF THESE TWO BANDS I SAW A FEW SATURDAYS AGO

The Double Door is a legendary club venue for music in Chicago. Bands like The Rolling Stones and Smashing Pumpkins have performed there when playing pretentious “intimate warm-up” shows. I went there with a buddy to listen to his friend’s band. For the life of me, I can’t remember the name of the band. Something French. But that doesn’t really matter. So, my buddy, my girlfriend, and I met two other friends and headed to the Double Door.

If you know anything about the Chicago music scene, you know where the Double Door is.

I didn’t.

If you know anything about the Chicago music scene, you know where the entrance is, once you find the Double Door.

I didn’t.

In a heinous case of false advertising, the Double Door has in fact only one door. At least, only one door that you can use. So we went to the wrong entrance. The intimidating bouncer greeted us with a jutted jaw and an unwelcoming goatee (although he couldn’t have been too tough, because he was wearing earplugs). “Are you with the band?” he grunted. (A tip for all you youngsters out there: the answer to this question should always be “Yes”.) “No.” “Entrance is on the other side, rookie.”

I was immediately disappointed when only one of the bartenders was wearing a trucker hat. The crowd of discerning music aficionados uniformly wore solid-colored t-shirts over long-sleeve white t-shirts and no coats, despite the 30-degree temperature outside. One patron’s t-shirt bore a Stone Temple Pilots logo, which was about two Scott-Weiland-jail-stints too old to be relevant. Worn certainly for the weather and not the style, there was also an overabundance of wool hats. I nearly shrieked with embarrassment and ran home when I realized I had accidentally worn New Balance running shoes instead of my square-toed black lace-ups or my dad’s old army boots. The women in the bar all looked like the Suicide Girls… except they were all decidedly overweight and hideous. So, I suppose aside from the tattoos and punky haircuts, they looked nothing like the Suicide Girls.

Before the set started, my buddy introduced me to a guy that he worked with. I tried to engage the co-worker in some small talk:
Me: “Do you know where the band’s name comes from?”
He: “Well, the literal translation from French is ‘good word.’”
Me: “Great, so are they some kind of crappy God Rockers?”
He: “No, the term came into use in America in the 20s and 30s as slang; it was a popular way of saying ‘I’m having a good time.’”
Me: “That’s the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard. How do you know all this?”
He: “I’m the bassist.”
Me: “Oh. Rock ‘n’ roll, dude.”

The band, including the bassist that hated me, got up and played their set. They played a variety of mellow/upbeat songs that compared closest to Elvis Costello. Since I don’t remember their name, I’ll call them Mellow Upbeat Songs Comparing Closest To Elvis Costello. They weren’t bad, but unfortunately the thing I remember most about MUSCCTEC was the witty on-stage banter that almost nobody could hear, consisting of things like “Welcome to the rock club – and we’re all members, if you know what I mean.”

After the set, I sauntered up to the bar for a drink. I motioned to the requisite lithe blonde bartender in a belly shirt and tight jeans with a bottle opener sticking out of her back pocket. Instead of being the typical bar hooch who used the dim lighting to look 25 years old instead of 33, she looked 33 instead of 25 (you can tell by the hands). When she ignored me, I asked Trucker Hat for a drink. After trying to order a Captain and Coke, and having Trucker Hat conceitedly tell me that they only served Busch products – which included neither Captain Morgan nor Coca-Cola, he added – I sipped a can of Busch beer. Looking around, I noticed that MUSCCETC had left free tickets for their next gig and CDs on the bar, and nobody had taken them… I took that as a bad sign.

The crowd erupted like a dripping faucet when the second band, Noisier Than First Band Sounding Something Like Lit But With Way Too Much Feedback To Be Considered Quality, took the stage. I knew we were in for a treat when NTFBSSLLBWWTMFTBCQ’s lead singer was already drenched in sweat before the set began. He sported a Rob Thomas mop and a vertical-striped shirt, and might have been wearing an ascot; I can’t be positive. He must have forgotten his button-down short-sleeve shirt with the dragon-head print (the same design as on the back of my domino set) at home. The bass guitarist wore a tie, glasses, a pull-over v-neck sweater, and a really, really large collar. The NTFBSSLLBWWTMFTBCQ drummer had an overly-tight white t-shirt and a crew cut with an “accidental” divot cut into the side, letting the crowd know that he had rock ‘n’ roll coursing through his veins. I was extremely disappointed that not one of them had a forward-brushed mohawk. As for the music, it was okay.

So I guess this wasn’t much of a music review. Sorry. In case you feel cheated, I will leave you with two interesting tidbits that I learned that night:
1. My girlfriend, who works in the dental center of a hospital, off-handedly mentioned that a patient from the psych ward called her office that day claiming that he was being raped by Jesse Jackson.
2. Apparently sodomy is all the rage in high schools right now. Guys successfully talk girls into anal based on the rationale that “it is not technically sex.” Genius. Don’t ask how I know that.



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Submitted by Stagger_Lee at 2007-02-26 01:40:07 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-05-29 22:52:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Not sure what is more troubling:

Bart had a date,

Ryan a girlfriend,

or that Ryan and Bart still hang out.

Trucker hat jokes are always funny.

Submitted by esso_merda at 2004-03-26 21:24:42 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Ascots kick ass. I'm sure the second band would have played better the singer would have remembered to wear his.


Submitted by Gent at 2004-03-26 19:01:28 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by bart at 2004-03-26 18:57:59 EST (#)
Rating: 2

This is awesome. I had never heard the part about the conversation with the bassist.


I was there, but I didn't show up until a little later because I was out on my awful "HEIDI! HEIDI!" date earlier in the evening.

Submitted by iddqd at 2004-03-26 18:33:48 EST (#)
Rating: 2

i always become optimistic about my day, when among the first things i see is an all-too-rare ryan donovan post.

rock'n'roll.

Submitted by ohlookasquirrel at 2004-03-26 18:23:53 EST (#)
Rating: 2

+2 for chitown.

Submitted by Razor at 2004-03-26 18:08:02 EST (#)
Rating: 2

You know, that was a better movie than anyone gave it credit for.

Submitted by Tom at 2004-03-26 18:01:15 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Ok RB

Submitted by reallybored at 2004-03-26 14:28:12 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-03-26 13:19:53 (#)
Ranking: 2

Reallybored, we really should have some kind of a super secret ubersite pub on Mars...or something.
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That comment reminds me of the movie Life with Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawerence. Specifally (sp) the scene where Murphy is describing the Boom Boom Room club that hes going to run with all the cons.

If you have never seen this flick, just nod and say ,"Ok RB".

Submitted by K.M at 2004-03-26 13:29:10 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Tom at 2004-03-26 13:19:53 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Reallybored, we really should have some kind of a super secret ubersite pub on Mars...or something.

Submitted by reallybored at 2004-03-26 13:08:57 EST (#)
Rating: 2

"As a matter of fact, he was with me at this show (he is one of the "other two friends"). I didn't want to commit a tacky uber-foul and drop his name. "So I was hanging out with Jesus Christ the other day...""

Hmm, I guess Bart's status as an Internet Demi-God has yet to circulate among the Bouncers of Chicago. Maybe when he releases Ubersite2.0 next year, you guys will be able to get in throught the back entrance.

"But of course, as you suggest, when Bart and I get together, it is always a wild time. Think backstage Motley Crue during their heyday, but with more cocaine and more transvestite prostitutes."

I can only imagine.

Submitted by ryandonovan at 2004-03-26 12:51:53 EST (#)
Rating: 0

reallybored - For better or worse, Bart and I still hang out. He used to have keys to my apartment, but fortunately, after I moved, I didn't give him the new keys. He tends to show up at random, inconvenient, late hours.

As a matter of fact, he was with me at this show (he is one of the "other two friends"). I didn't want to commit a tacky uber-foul and drop his name. "So I was hanging out with Jesus Christ the other day..."

But of course, as you suggest, when Bart and I get together, it is always a wild time. Think backstage Motley Crue during their heyday, but with more cocaine and more transvestite prostitutes.

Submitted by Yes at 2004-03-26 12:48:23 EST (#)
Rating: 1

meh.

Submitted by reallybored at 2004-03-26 12:35:08 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Every time i read "Truckers Hat" i saw it was Tucker Max. Very weird.

I wonder if Bart and Donovan still hang out?... Talk about a wild night that would be!

Submitted by Tom at 2004-03-26 12:14:05 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Me: "Do you know where the band's name comes from?"
He: "Well, the literal translation from French is 'good word.'"
Me: "Great, so are they some kind of crappy God Rockers?"
He: "No, the term came into use in America in the 20s and 30s as slang; it was a popular way of saying 'I'm having a good time.'"
Me: "That's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard. How do you know all this?"
He: "I'm the bassist."
Me: "Oh. Rock 'n' roll, dude."



This cracked me up. Good job on the post.

Submitted by someone at 2004-03-26 11:55:56 EST (#)
Rating: 2

nice

Submitted by Razor at 2004-03-26 11:47:21 EST (#)
Rating: 2

The phrase would be "bon mot" unless I'm mistaken.

Submitted by drink_DDT at 2004-03-26 11:45:32 EST (#)
Rating: 2

lol @ "rock 'n' roll dude"

Submitted by smokymtcsw at 2004-03-26 11:41:11 EST (#)
Rating: 2

chevelle is talented


Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in
every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

-- Homer Simpson
The PTA Disbands