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Blowjobs From Toothless Women

Submitted by maiorano84 at 2004-04-21 14:12:35 EDT
Rating: -0.5 on 12 ratings (12 reviews) (Review this item) (V)


I got to thinking today, what would it be like to enjoy what I like to call a 'Gumjob'? For all of you who couldn't already figure out what a Gumjob is, I envy your naivety.

Basically, a Gumjob is sort of like a blowjob, except the person giving the job doesn't have any teeth. The giver doesn't have to be old or anything, if you want to find out for yourself how a Gumjob feels, a few well-placed punches to your girlfriend's mouth can do the trick. If they aren't agreeing to being punched in the mouth, be creative.

Like that tying-a-string-to-their-teeth-and-slamming-the-door-shut thing. Or was it just slamming the door shut on their face? I can't remember. Whatever works.

Anyway, when all said teeth have been successfully removed, get them to work. Here are 5 reasons why Gumjobs are better than Blowjobs:


1. There are no teeth to get in the way. I'm sure many of you have had that problem where you're getting your pole polished, and all of a sudden your helmet gets nicked. Boy that sucks.... I mean blows.....

2. Implementation of new techniques. Without those darn teeth in the way, your woman has more creative conrtol. Like the old 'Bite n' Grind'. This is where she bites down with medium pressure and grinds her jaws around your meat-mallet. Gives me goosebumps every time.

3. The Bite n' Grind.

4. Everybody knows that the best sexual pleasure comes from what women most likely DON'T want to do. Anal sex, deep-throating, cumming in mouths, etc. I mean, every man would say that these things are awesome, just as long as you can convince her to practice. This would be the same case with a good Gumjob.

5. Afterwards, you can hide her false teeth and pay her with an ear of corn. Watch how she tries to eat it, it's hilarious, I swear.


There you have it, gentleman. The next time you want to try something new, tell your woman that you wanna knock her teeth out. This is a surefire way to get the coveted Gumjob.




Man I'm immature.



Corn Is Good.jpg
Corn Is Good.jpg


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Submitted by someone at 2004-04-22 00:09:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by ornerybastard (user info) at 2004-04-21 15:01:16 (#)
Ranking: -2

I'm unbelievably high right now and this is still not even remotely funny.
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Ditto.

Submitted by Supremebeing at 2004-04-21 21:36:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

+1 because I have had a gumjob once along time ago. It ROCKED! But I can't remember if it was a dream or not.

Submitted by Thunderlips at 2004-04-21 17:10:50 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

You suck.

Submitted by Phinch at 2004-04-21 15:21:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

this sounds familiar, has someone else put up something similar?

Submitted by maiorano84 at 2004-04-21 15:09:00 EDT (#)
Rating: -2


Shit, I knew I shouldn't have posted this.

Submitted by ornerybastard at 2004-04-21 15:01:16 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

I'm unbelievably high right now and this is still not even remotely funny.

Submitted by reallybored at 2004-04-21 14:56:09 EDT (#)
Rating: -1

You're real hit or miss.

Submitted by maiorano84 at 2004-04-21 14:44:18 EDT (#)
Rating: 0


Razor - I was debating about even posting this. I guess I learned my lesson. I should probably stick to the more creative shit, and let KoolMang and the Gang take care of stuff like this.

Submitted by Razor at 2004-04-21 14:40:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Not as good as what you usually write Matt.

Submitted by volklcess at 2004-04-21 14:18:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Flak is a very good judge of what's boring.

Submitted by Jocko_Johnson at 2004-04-21 14:18:20 EDT (#)
Rating: -1

sorry dude, but that guy below me is right.
boring.


Submitted by Flak at 2004-04-21 14:15:48 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

boring


The reason I look unhappy is that tonight I have to see a slide show
starring my wife's sisters -- or as I call them, `the gruesome twosome.'

-- Homer Simpson
Krusty Gets Busted