When Good Hamsters-in-a-Condom Go BadSubmitted by Vermin at 2004-06-12 12:19:00 EDT
Rating: 0.33 on 44 ratings (44 reviews) (Review this item) (V)
Last night I stuffed a hamster-in-a-condom up my ass (It's a hobby of mine and I would appreciate it if you did not judge me). The problem is that I'll be damned if the little bugger didn't chew his way out and escape into my colon. I can feel him right now, squirming around in there, spelunking my ass caves.
He is plotting and scheming something nasty. I know it.
I am actually getting a bit worried. I would have thought the little devil would have asphyxiated by now and I could just poop him out naturally, but so far that's not the case. I probably should go to the hospital and get the hamster removed, but I just know that those fuckers would call the SPCA on me. I would probably get charged with cruelty to animals or some nonsense like that.
I have been thinking of different methods to get it out of there. One was maybe poking a stick up my ass, but that would probably just scare him farther in. I could also shove a cat in there, but that would just leave me with a larger animal stuck in my rectum.
What I think I am going to do is eat some hot chilli. The combination of the hot burning spices and the powerful farts that will be generated should either outright kill the little bastard, or at least blow him out.
Any other suggestions would certainly be appreciated.
Anyways, I'll keep you posted.
Oh yeah ladies, here is a camwhore picture of me to drool over.
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