login / register
The facts of her past show you that she cannot handle the responsibility of being President.
Welcome to Ubersite!

Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here

Submitted by Yes at 2004-09-09 16:42:17 EDT
Rating: 2.0 on 2 ratings (2 reviews) (Review this item) (V)



Jack walked, unhurried, down the street. He glanced in the shops as he passed, kindly smiling at the people working behind the plate glass windows. He stopped in at the bakery, the heavenly scent of fresh baked confections had pulled him off the street. As he stood pondering his purchase, trying to pick the perfect pastry to pacify his now prodigious hunger, someone tapped him on the shoulder. Startled, Jack turned to face the person that had just tapped him.

"Jack? Jack Ye? El Dorado High School, class of '87?"

"Y-yes" stuttered Jack, "That's me... Um, sorry, but I don't recognize you."

"YOU!" shouted the owner of the shop, pointing at Jack, "What's your name?!"

"Excuse me? There's no reason to shout, wha-"

"I asked you a question! Is your name really Ye? Jack Ye?"

"Yeah, w-why?"

"Didn't you read the sign above the door?! It's time for you to DIE!"

The baker bent down to grab something from under the counter, there was a crash as several pots and pans fell, he stood up with a shotgun in his hands and looked at Jack as he worked the pump, chambering a round. Jack had been frozen in place since the baker starting yelling at him, but as soon as he realized the he was shouldering the gun, getting ready to fire, Jack spun towards the door and started to run. He got less than two steps before the baker shot him, exploding his chest all over the front of the shop.

"Dumb bastard should've read the sign," sighed the baker, "it says it right there, plain as day: 'Abandon All Hope Ye's Who Enter Here'" He shook his head and looked at the body gushing its lifeblood all over his usually immaculate store. "Martha! Get the mop and the saw! We got another one!"








bakeryblood.jpg
bakeryblood.jpg


Review This Item

Rating:

Comment:




Reviews


Submitted by podium at 2005-03-22 18:51:49 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by youarsoghey at 2005-01-16 12:41:04 EST (#)
Rating: 2


Why did this have to happen now, during prime time, when TV's
brightest stars come out to shine?

-- Homer Simpson
Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes?