SAVE the PLANKTON!!!Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome at 2004-10-05 21:57:19 EDT
Rating: 1.53 on 41 ratings (41 reviews) (Review this item) (V)
What would you do if someone you love were suddenly swept away by a malicious and unseen predator? What would you do if you were suddenly faced with the daunting challenge of surviving without the support and benefit of your family and friends? Well that’s exactly the kind of reality that millions of poor, defenseless plankton are faced with everyday…
Hi, I’m Sally Struthers. Every year, billions of innocent plankton are brutally murdered by malicious, marauding whales. These senseless acts of cowardice and evil go largely unchecked, and are in some cases even encouraged by our governments.
In the United States, for example, millions of public tax dollars are spent annually in support of this speciocidal brutality. Organizations such as PETA, Greenpeace, The Save the Whale Foundation, and many other private ‘non-profit’ organizations also participate in this heinous and pathological evil by funding research that supports the terrorist whales, while every year more and more plankton succumb to the throes of poverty and disease in their war-torn sea homes.
Living in general squalor, your typical plankton child is lucky to get one meal a day. On top of the whale problem, with no hospitals or much-needed life-saving drugs, the typical life span of an average plankton is a little over 72………………….hours. *tear
Will you join me, and 20 or so other Americans (as well as people in other lesser countries not worth mentioning, like Japan) in the fight to save these beautiful and misunderstood creatures? Call today for your free introductory packet at no obligation. Inside you’ll find a picture and story of a plankton who needs you! Just 70 cents a day can provide the sunshine and water these plankton so desperately need.
How much would you really miss 70 cents a day? You probably lose more than that in the cushions of your couch… For the cost of your morning coffee, you could save the life of one special plankton who needs YOUR help. So, what are you waiting for??? Together we can kill a whale, but more importantly, we can save the plankton… Call today.
This is Kathryn Hepburn of Plankton-Reach; won’t you join Sally Struthers and me in our fight to restore these beautiful and majestic creatures to their rightful place on the food chain right below badgers? Our operators are standing by. Please pick up your phone and call now, or you’ll feel guilty you didn’t, and perhaps even go to hell for it, because Jesus loves plankton and so should you. You didn’t think he walked on water all by himself do you? That’s right, Jesus knew the value and beauty that lives in each plankton, and he called upon them in the execution of one of his most famous magic tricks.
Here is some sad string music and pictures of various plankton with flies in their faces. Notice how the don’t even swat them away anymore…it’s so sad! We all know how annoying that is, and we wouldn’t want to see it happen to any more plankton.
Call today…our operators are standing by…
Scourge of the High Seas.jpg
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Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-10-20 16:07:52 EDT (#)